What can I do to please my wife?

[ttrsub]

My wife and I have been married for 19 years. 6 months ago I finally got the nerve to tell her that I am submissive. It was very scary but she received this very well. We proceeded to read books, set up rules,we talked about her expectations and even made lotsof fun purchases, She even made the comment about how lucky could she be and what woman wouldn't want to have a submissive husband. We started down the road of our new life and all was going well. The problem is, it only lasted about 3 months. We have recently slid back into our old life. What should I do? Should I just take that as a hint and not push it? Should I continue on with my chores? I know I am submissive, but I do not like the traditional role the I feel like I am going back to. What can I do to respark her interest?

 

[_Necrosomantic_]

If you can ask random strangers online, any particular reason you can't do the same with her? You already had one conversation about it, and that yielded positive results. Don't let it fester. Stop sitting around biting your nails over it, stow your assumptions and fears, and go talk to your wife man. That simple.

 

[Betticus]

I bet if you do the dishes and clean the bathrooms she would be very pleased.

 

[HisArpy]

I bet if you do the dishes and clean the bathrooms she would be very pleased.

And the laundry. Don't forget the laundry.



Ok, here's an edit so I don't sound snippy and callous:

Show her you love her and want her to be more assertive. Being submissive doesn't mean sitting passive and waiting for your Domme to tell you to do something.

So ask her what she would like you to do for her. Get her a drink, rub her feet, scrub her back, etc. You should want to please, so get in there and please her.

It's not about the sex, or it shouldn't be anyway. Yes the sex is part of it, but it's not only about that part. Pleasing her should be your first choice. Not the last choice or the choice you make when your bored. The. First. Choice.

 

[ttrsub]

That is the problem. I do the dishes, I do the laundry, I made a great dinner tonight and cleaned up after. I already do this stuff. I do the shopping. I ask her if I can rub her feet, or her shoulders. I ask her everyday can I do anything for you. I love doing these things, that's not the problem. The problem is, she does not participate. I guess I should just say to hell with it and give up trying to have this kind of a relationship.

Also, your right. It's not about the sex. That actually is the furthest thing from my mind. Submission is a part of who I am. I would like for her to put me in a cornor for a couple hours though! At least I would know she is participating in the relationship.

 

[yossi]

Talk to her. You can't sustain any kind of relationship without communication, especially not a D/s relationship. Maybe she's scared or doesn't feel capable or knowledgeable enough.

 

[Betticus]

It sounds like you are submitting to someone who is not giving you any kind of positive or supportive feedback. Let's say that you have known you need submission for a long time but for her this is a completely new thing she has no experience with.

I agree with open communication which is a key fundamental for a successful relationship. She may also feel lost and unsure of how to let out a dominant side of herself. This could be something like fantasy vs. reality for her and it will take time and patience to work all of this out.

It may be beneficial to find a dom who would be willing to also chat with her and offer some guidance.

Try to be patient, these kind of life changes take a lot of time.

 

[MeekMe]

That is the problem. I do the dishes, I do the laundry, I made a great dinner tonight and cleaned up after. I already do this stuff. I do the shopping. I ask her if I can rub her feet, or her shoulders. I ask her everyday can I do anything for you. I love doing these things, that's not the problem. The problem is, she does not participate. I guess I should just say to hell with it and give up trying to have this kind of a relationship.

Also, your right. It's not about the sex. That actually is the furthest thing from my mind. Submission is a part of who I am. I would like for her to put me in a cornor for a couple hours though! At least I would know she is participating in the relationship.

It's great that you want to do all those things. And it can feel very under appreciated when it becomes just the way things are done. If you both worked out who needs to do what and you're covering your end, what is it she agreed to? Have you tried gently reminding her? What are your expectations from her? Do you want more kinky fun involved? Do you want her to give you more things to do randomly? Is she comfortable with doing more?

Sometimes you have to speak up for things that you want. It doesn't mean you'll get what you want, but at least it will be known. And remember, if she isn't that into it, giving you orders could be more stressful than fun for her. Talk it out.

 

[SissySalina]

My wife and I have been married for 19 years. 6 months ago I finally got the nerve to tell her that I am submissive. It was very scary but she received this very well. We proceeded to read books, set up rules,we talked about her expectations and even made lotsof fun purchases, She even made the comment about how lucky could she be and what woman wouldn't want to have a submissive husband. We started down the road of our new life and all was going well. The problem is, it only lasted about 3 months. We have recently slid back into our old life. What should I do? Should I just take that as a hint and not push it? Should I continue on with my chores? I know I am submissive, but I do not like the traditional role the I feel like I am going back to. What can I do to respark her interest?

sissy is submissive to Her, She is wife.
A sub must trust the Dom and trust only comes from good communication. Other words talk to her. She may have found out that being a Dom is not all she wants or she may not fully understand the Dom/sub relationship.
The Dom/sub relationship only works if both parties get something out of it and she may not be sure what she wants out of that type of relationship. The only way to find out is to talk.

 

[yukonnights]

My wife and I have been married for 19 years. 6 months ago I finally got the nerve to tell her that I am submissive. It was very scary but she received this very well. We proceeded to read books, set up rules,we talked about her expectations and even made lotsof fun purchases, She even made the comment about how lucky could she be and what woman wouldn't want to have a submissive husband. We started down the road of our new life and all was going well. The problem is, it only lasted about 3 months. We have recently slid back into our old life. What should I do? Should I just take that as a hint and not push it? Should I continue on with my chores? I know I am submissive, but I do not like the traditional role the I feel like I am going back to. What can I do to respark her interest?

Just another suggestion; Last night I spent some enjoyable time reading Femdom stories here on Lit. If she enjoys reading, maybe you could give here the gift of sharing some erotic stories with her. Find a couple that really speak to what you desire, and let her know that these really turned you on, etc. (To find femdom stories, I suggest that you use the "tag" search method since there is no specific Category for just femdom. Tags might include; female dominant, female domination, femdom, female led relationship, flr, submissive husband, etc)

But as has been said above, it may be that she isn't really all that dominant herself