A
AlwaysFara
Guest
I’d really like to work from underneath my desk today.
‘Round my parts it’s called a BJ. And I wish I was doing that, too.
(Hope you feel better.)
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I’d really like to work from underneath my desk today.
That sucks. I’ve been there though - five years ago I had a line manager who destroyed everything I’d spent five years building up, and ended up leaving me homeless. It was the worst time of my life. But ultimately, it taught me how to deal with assholes, and how to depend on myself - that if I could work my way out of all the shit he left me in, I could get myself through anything. These people disrupt our lives for a while, but they make us a little stronger in the process! And while we move on, they are still assholes, living lives where they drive everyone away.
I’d really like to work from underneath my desk today.

‘Round my parts it’s called a BJ. And I wish I was doing that, too.

I wonder sometimes if we create the assholes we meet. I have no doubt there are serious assholes in the world, but sometimes people are just having a bad day, or fail at expressing themselves successfully. Sometimes a guy is walking towards me, his shoulders slumped, a frown on his face, and I have thought that he may be an asshole. Then, when I rein in my own worried ego, I think maybe he's just sad about something. Then I smile, and usually he smiles. And I believe we're both a little better off.
Jeez ladies. Rub it in why dontcha!?
Yes, in some instances you could be correct. In the one I was talking about - this guy was a complete asshole. Had a superiority complex and wanted to control people. Enjoyed watching the devastation he caused. In one example, he started to dislike someone he had previously championed, and manipulated him losing his job. And he smiled and bragged about it. But yes, there’s a quote I keep, and try to remember - about people often thinking someone is an asshole when in reality he is just sad. I know it’s true, and in my life, I give people the benefit of doubt for a while, but sometimes they are just manipulative assholes. Only time can tell.
The guy you're describing sounds like a genuine sociopath. That's a different magnitude of asshole. . . .
He really, really was. I refused to be his personal secretary, so he targeted me. He has a special place reserved in hell, even though he made those he targeted stronger and wiser. I kinda regret dropping my legal claim against him - I would have made some good money with the evidence I had!
Probably better for you to cut your losses and get away.
Yeah, I’m gone from that situation. He managed to manipulate making money from the situation, its complicated and I’m not legally allowed to say too much on it all, but he’s gone from the company, and I feel sorry for anyone who has him as a part of their lives.
Did you know recent studies have shown 1 in 5 executives are psychopaths? It seems one has to loose their mind to clime the corporate ladder. Which makes one think if it is really worth it.
And an asshole is an asshole. You can’t make someone asshole. You can only control yourself. Much to many people’s utter confusion.
I’d rather stay compassionate and work to understand my colleagues/subordinates than climb a corporate ladder by causing other people problems. I remember when the guy I’m talking about first came to us, and claimed he had changed a workplace for the better, when in fact he had been managed out by being sent to us.. he would manage his own affairs on company time, and go sit in his car and let us struggle without a manager for hours! You are 100% right that a person can only manage their own reaction - and I was pleasant to his face (which infuriated him) when in fact I couldn’t afford to eat and would walk three miles to work, crying, as I couldn’t afford travel costs either... he thrived on hurting people, but I worked hard to advise people on their rights so he couldn’t get the better of them. Unfortunately I couldn’t reach everyone. I hope one day to be in a position to advise more people on situations like this, and help them navigate the sociopaths who slip through the cracks and manage to hurt the people they are supposed to support
Best of luck in your endeavor. There should be more people in management that think that way.
That’s a handjob, Sun.
Thank you, in all honesty the job I left the last one for are putting me in a position of responsibility without paying me for it, so I’m being used again, but I do work hard to help people. I got one who was overworked and developed a health condition as a result, the drop in hours she wanted, so I try to stay on that path of helping people. I studied contract law, so I can help people, I want to learn sign language as I think it is a neglected language, and I want to support people, as no one has ever supported me - I understand how important it can be.
Did you know recent studies have shown 1 in 5 executives are psychopaths? It seems one has to loose their mind to clime the corporate ladder. Which makes one think if it is really worth it.
And an asshole is an asshole. You can’t make someone asshole. You can only control yourself. Much to many people’s utter confusion.
I agree with you on your first point--there is a theory that psychopaths and sociopaths (there's some clinical disagreement about the distinction between the two) have served to drive civilization forward (though whether for better or worse also remains a question). But I disagree with your second point--I think you can easily create an asshole by mistreating a child.