What Are YOU Thinking? Continued 3

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I JUST HAD THE BEST CONVERSATION EVER.

So, I did a brave thing... and it paid off.
I had a huge heart to heart with my 75 year old evangelical mother and told her about me. I told her that I've really been dealing with the concept of self worth. That knowing she is prior of me is important... but that I need her to be proud of ME not the curated picture of me.
I told her I'm a submissive. I told her what I've been working on as far as growth. I told her about my two most significant relationships this year.
I told her I'm not looking for her to agree with my choices, but to acknowledge and know they are made out of a place of logic, self awareness and choice. She hugged me and is thinking. She also said of my most significant relationship: " I like that. He sounds like a good man. I'm glad you met him. "

My mom as I'm writing this just came in and handed me something she had bought me: Faith, Hope, Love cards to color and a beautiful box of colored pencils. She told me that she had these to give me and wanted me to have these tonight to acknowledge she heard me. **crying happy tears**
 
I JUST HAD THE BEST CONVERSATION EVER.

So, I did a brave thing... and it paid off.
I had a huge heart to heart with my 75 year old evangelical mother and told her about me. I told her that I've really been dealing with the concept of self worth. That knowing she is prior of me is important... but that I need her to be proud of ME not the curated picture of me.
I told her I'm a submissive. I told her what I've been working on as far as growth. I told her about my two most significant relationships this year.
I told her I'm not looking for her to agree with my choices, but to acknowledge and know they are made out of a place of logic, self awareness and choice. She hugged me and is thinking. She also said of my most significant relationship: " I like that. He sounds like a good man. I'm glad you met him. "

My mom as I'm writing this just came in and handed me something she had bought me: Faith, Hope, Love cards to color and a beautiful box of colored pencils. She told me that she had these to give me and wanted me to have these tonight to acknowledge she heard me. **crying happy tears**

Parental shit is good shit. I’m happy for you both.

My Dad and I had a moment like this before he died. It’s one of my most precious memories of him.
 
I'm driving around today radio channel surfing and all of a sudden Taylor Swift comes on and tells me I need to calm down and that I'm being to loud. What the fuck is her problem? She needs to mind her own damn business and let me handle the driving road rage as I see fit.

Stay off my damn back, Taylor! :mad:
 
Parental shit is good shit. I’m happy for you both.

My Dad and I had a moment like this before he died. It’s one of my most precious memories of him.

Thank you, Fara. Yes, her health was one of the major reasons for doing it now. She has been in and out of the hospital for the last 7 months. Three weeks ago we didnt think she would come out again. She has stenosis of the spine which compromises her airway. They cant fix it. Among many many other things.

Every summer I get to spend with her is unexpected and important.

I'm so glad you got that with your dad. I'm sorry that he is no longer with you, though.

The other reason is because I'm working hard on self worth. In order to get there it would be helpful if people closest to me know and accept ALL of me. This was a step towards that.

I also needed her to know about him because of things coming up. If anything goes south I need her to already know so I can cry in front of HER not my son. Both of them know about him now, but I dont want son to carry the weight of things. Basically I'm going to need and want my mom's hand Friday/Saturday.
 
Damn, that nightmare was so traumatic/vivid!

I’ve not been sleeping well lately - I guess that was my brain’s way of getting me back!
 
I don't want to get up and yet I need to pee.

Damn! That roasted green bean was delish! I want another one but again... Don't want to get up.

Am I lazy?

Probably.
 
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