What Are You Thinking? Continued 14

Dude, anyone try those weed Delta 8 sodas? That stuff does nothing. Pretty bummed.
 
Welp.

My feels are thinking I don't want him to die like this. I want him to live long enough to heal and grow and find love. And I want to see him and hold him and tell him I forgive him.

But that's not going to happen. None of that is going to happen. He's going to die without healing or growth or a last hug or even any last words to me.

My head is thinking you're getting better at this Honey, but there's still work to be done. Fucking unplug from this already because there is no peace or resolution or healing for YOU there in that situation.

It's just so fucking hard.
 
Welp.

My feels are thinking I don't want him to die like this. I want him to live long enough to heal and grow and find love. And I want to see him and hold him and tell him I forgive him.

But that's not going to happen. None of that is going to happen. He's going to die without healing or growth or a last hug or even any last words to me.

My head is thinking you're getting better at this Honey, but there's still work to be done. Fucking unplug from this already because there is no peace or resolution or healing for YOU there in that situation.

It's just so fucking hard.
❤❤❤

You are an amazing woman, Honey. You know you wouldn't be if you just flounced off and didn't care about him or the choices he's made.

It's a hard row to hoe, but this is a part of you. You can't shove it in a box, but it also makes it hard emotionally. That's why your friends are ready and willing to be there for you.
 
This is going to sound bitchy. My brother is posting videos from Warsaw about his humanitarian aid there for Ukrainians. I can't handle it. In one video he starts to cry uncontrollably. I understand he sees the suffering. But I'm just thinking get a grip.
 
Welp.

My feels are thinking I don't want him to die like this. I want him to live long enough to heal and grow and find love. And I want to see him and hold him and tell him I forgive him.

But that's not going to happen. None of that is going to happen. He's going to die without healing or growth or a last hug or even any last words to me.

My head is thinking you're getting better at this Honey, but there's still work to be done. Fucking unplug from this already because there is no peace or resolution or healing for YOU there in that situation.

It's just so fucking hard.
❤️
 
Occasional bad dreams are one thing, but a detailed dream of witnessing a nuclear strike from a distance and the after-effects... I can just do without. That crap suck when you've had to study it in detail in the past.😧
 
This darkness is trying to settle into my soul again. I need to stop watching the news and talking to people who just give me lip service. I need to find a happy place that isn't a person. I am just plain old down at night and I don't know how to get over this.
 
I'm watching TV and I have the song "I Want Your Sex" by George Michaels stuck in my head.
 
The good thing about tablets being so portable is that I can bring them in the bath, and not feel like I’m neglecting my work. I can be just as unproductive here as I was at my desk, and yet I’m comfortable! :D
 
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