What Are You Thinking? Continued 14

[Mei5ter]

Conversations that have lasted months suddenly dry up out of nowhere. But maybe that's just what Lit is at its root?

I'm not sure. Can't those conversations stsrt up again?

I met up with a friend in the pub last weekend. Hadn't seen him for a few weeks. We had a really good catch up over a couple of pints. I now probably won't see him again for a few weeks, but when we do we'll catch up again. A few weeks of not talking in between doesn't break the friendship.

In the past, I've sensed that some people on Lit have felt I don't want to talk to them anymore when there's been a break in messaging. It's usually not that at all. I'm just used to my friendships being fuelled by a series of individual conversations with pauses in between.

 

[MrMakersMark]

Having this desire still makes a you a bit of a sociopath. Even if you reject it.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

I'm not sure. Can't those conversations stsrt up again?

I met up with a friend in the pub last weekend. Hadn't seen him for a few weeks. We had a really good catch up over a couple of pints. I now probably won't see him again for a few weeks, but when we do we'll catch up again. A few weeks of not talking in between doesn't break the friendship.

In the past, I've sensed that some people on Lit have felt I don't want to talk to them anymore when there's been a break in messaging. It's usually not that at all. I'm just used to my friendships being fuelled by a series of individual conversations with pauses in between.

It's more a sudden change than an expectation of constant contact.

Like for an example you and I often go a few weeks without a message but can then spend a few days chatting pretty regularly about all sorts but that's what it's always been like since we started talking and therefore that's ok.
It's when someone I talk to daily suddenly drops to every few days or every few weeks with no apparent reason that I end up feeling like a placeholder.

And god I've been guilty of this lately I know I have. I haven't been well and haven't had the energy to really reply to people but I'm working on trying to rebuild my friendships as best I can.

 

[SmokingFap]

I am happy if I get an assist.
Whether it be a one time thing or a regular thing.

I don't need to score every single time.

I am ok with being Mr. Right Now

To each their own. And I'm not talking about "scoring" every time. That's almost never the reason I talk to anyone on here.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

To each their own. And I'm not talking about "scoring" every time. That's almost never the reason I talk to anyone on here.

Alrighty then.

 

[Photog1rl]

It's more a sudden change than an expectation of constant contact.

Like for an example you and I often go a few weeks without a message but can then spend a few days chatting pretty regularly about all sorts but that's what it's always been like since we started talking and therefore that's ok.
It's when someone I talk to daily suddenly drops to every few days or every few weeks with no apparent reason that I end up feeling like a placeholder.

And god I've been guilty of this lately I know I have. I haven't been well and haven't had the energy to really reply to people but I'm working on trying to rebuild my friendships as best I can.

The advice I have been given, with respect to Lit, is that this is how people let others down gently. There seems to be a reservation to telling someone directly that you are no longer interested in chatting with them. I've had this conversation with multiple people and folks seem to really believe this fading away is “nicer” than saying something directly. I vehemently disagree. I'd much rather hear that I was not someone else’s cup of tea or that we had run its course than be left to ruminate on what happened.

The bottom line is that lack of communication, be it poor communication, partial communication or slow ghosting, sucks. I think folks need to be straight up and say what is happening. No one needs more reasons to second guess themselves. I am sorry that this has been your experience. You are definitely not alone.

And I also have been a bad communicator-not because I ghost folks until they get the hint but because I don't always check my PM’s, sometimes I dont have time to listen or record an audio and my in person life can take up all of my energy and I don't prioritize my online conversations. I am a work in progress though so I continue to try and improve and I'm gentle with myself about it. I know my intentions are good and anyone that knows me knows that too.

 

[cactusjack0584]

I think I lost a Lit friend because I’m a fucking moron.

 

[ShowMeYourSmile]

Tomorrow’s going to be a roller coaster….school closing early due to an impending snowstorm. I’m sure my students will be at their utmost focused tomorrow….NOT! Too bad for them it’s a review day for an impending quiz/test….

 

[crazychemgirl]

I think this place is like a drug … you don’t necessarily want to be here, but you can’t stop yourself … and you keep coming back for more and more and more.

 

[TXRafe]

I think this place is like a drug … you don’t necessarily want to be here, but you can’t stop yourself … and you keep coming back for more and more and more.

Lit is exactly Twitter and other social media outlets...it is a drug...it is a constant source of dopamine, whether it be an alert, a dm, a post that catches your attention, a risqué picture, a new connection or opportunity to play...

I think that's one of the reasons so many people take breaks and feel the need to take breaks from Lit. I find some comfort and connection in knowing that I am not the only one who struggles with navigating socializing, friendships, and relationships here on Lit, but it is also why we all have to give each other a bit of grace until our behaviors overstep the boundaries of acceptable behavior and move into blatant manipulation.

First and foremost, as with any relationship or day to day interactions, we need to keep our own mental health and well-being in mind. I just wish some people would heed the advice of others and look inward instead of constantly projecting negativity outwardly.

 

[Chloe_Harper]

I think this place is like a drug … you don’t necessarily want to be here, but you can’t stop yourself … and you keep coming back for more and more and more.

Lit is exactly Twitter and other social media outlets...it is a drug...it is a constant source of dopamine, whether it be an alert, a dm, a post that catches your attention, a risqué picture, a new connection or opportunity to play...

I think that's one of the reasons so many people take breaks and feel the need to take breaks from Lit. I find some comfort and connection in knowing that I am not the only one who struggles with navigating socializing, friendships, and relationships here on Lit, but it is also why we all have to give each other a bit of grace until our behaviors overstep the boundaries of acceptable behavior and move into blatant manipulation.

First and foremost, as with any relationship or day to day interactions, we need to keep our own mental health and well-being in mind. I just wish some people would heed the advice of others and look inward instead of constantly projecting negativity outwardly.

 

[Taegul]

I can't even get an oil change without their payment system prompting me for a tip? A tip, on a damn oil change?

You better have some Hooters girls working as mechanics if you want me to tip. Otherwise, piss off!

 

[LostHorizon]

I think this place is like a drug … you don’t necessarily want to be here, but you can’t stop yourself … and you keep coming back for more and more and more.

This place is very much like a drug. It hits all the same endorphin centers of the brain as any other drug.

 

[ShaneoD]

Damn I should sleep, tomorrow will be a busy one

 

[Chloe_Harper]

Yea, this place is like an interactive zoo. You wanna see your favorite animals, feed and hang out with them the longest. Sometimes you get bit or spit on. Sometimes you accidently hurt or scare one of the little animals. Ultimately, you don't want to leave. You wanna find the ones you scared or hurt and coo or sooth them. You try to give the biters and spitters more space. But, there's not much of fencing, and it's a wide-open expanse where there seems to be a plethora of space to wander. Yet, you keep coming back to or getting chased by those same animals.

It's a wonderous, fascinating, lovely, terrifying, exhilarating, exhausting place.

 

[TXRafe]

Yea, this place is like an interactive zoo. You wanna see your favorite animals, feed and hang out with them the longest. Sometimes you get bit or spit on. Sometimes you accidently hurt or scare one of the little animals. Ultimately, you don't want to leave. You wanna find the ones you scared or hurt and coo or sooth them. You try to give the biters and spitters more space. But, there's not much of fencing, and it's a wide-open expanse where there seems to be a plethora of space to wander. Yet, you keep coming back to or getting chased by those same animals.

It's a wonderous, fascinating, lovely, terrifying, exhilarating, exhausting place.

https://media1.tenor.com/m/nuB_WQ6o5wQAAAAd/y3ongi-dog.gif

 

[JackKingOff]

Just in my head, trying to tell the lies to go away, but are they lies?

 

[LostHorizon]

Oh lord this thread is getting deep tonight

 

[positiveflirt]

What's the right ratio of Romance vs Other on a ten song valentine playlist?
They can't all be sexy as fuck or else the listener would melt before they got to the tenth song. 6 vs 4?

 

[Neanderthal247]

I need to keep reminding myself that I'm not special, that I'm just another guy to chat with if a woman is bored or lonely or just wants to get off with whoever is available.

These lit women doesn't have the authority to determine if you're special, they can only decide if you're special to them. I've seen ladies and gentlemen treating bum mfers like they're gods, it doesn't make a god.

The only ones who can determine if you're special, are our loved ones who get to see all of us. They can see our shine, know our hearts, see how we treat and see our everyday deeds.

No Litster male or female can truly know if you're special. Don't worry about who doesn't want you and stick with people who likes you. No mfer online or real life has the power to make me feel less than, what people think matters 0, I know my greatest and no one can take that away.


2Pac said this in a song, but it makes me think of this subject.


You could be rolling with a thug, instead you with some weak scrub looking for some love, in every club.

 

[Bassytian]

My first post with my new phone… FUCK everything looks gorgeous!

 

[Neanderthal247]

Yea, this place is like an interactive zoo. You wanna see your favorite animals, feed and hang out with them the longest. Sometimes you get bit or spit on. Sometimes you accidently hurt or scare one of the little animals. Ultimately, you don't want to leave. You wanna find the ones you scared or hurt and coo or sooth them. You try to give the biters and spitters more space. But, there's not much of fencing, and it's a wide-open expanse where there seems to be a plethora of space to wander. Yet, you keep coming back to or getting chased by those same animals.

It's a wonderous, fascinating, lovely, terrifying, exhilarating, exhausting place.

I don't know what kind of Zoo you've been to, but that shit doesn't happen in a regular Zoo. It sounds like Clarice visiting Hanibal Lector for the first time.





https://media0.giphy.com/media/U0yZuAviGSCcg/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b9527mqb4xelvi3o90po7v40zbxbr9pqf9xdbfwdp9wi&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

 

[Bassytian]

These lit women doesn't have the authority to determine if you're special, they can only decide if you're special to them. I've seen ladies and gentlemen treating bum mfers like they're gods, it doesn't make a god.

The only ones who can determine if you're special, are our loved ones who get to see all of us. They can see our shine, know our hearts, see how we treat and see our everyday deeds.

No Litster male or female can truly know if you're special. Don't worry about who doesn't want you and stick with people who likes you. No mfer online or real life has the power to make me feel less than, what people think matters 0, I know my greatest and no one can take that away.


2Pac said this in a song, but it makes me think of this subject.


You could be rolling with a thug, instead you with some weak scrub looking for some love, in every club.

I know that wasn’t meant for me, but I felt that message. I am largely undesirable on the dating/sexual market and I spent my best years feeling sorry for myself over it, even attempted suicide a few times because of it.

It took me until I turned 40 to realize that those who don’t want me have no authority on my worth.

 

[Chloe_Harper]

I don't know what kind of Zoo you've been to, but that shit doesn't happen in a regular Zoo. It sounds like Clarice visiting Hanibal Lector for the first time.

https://media0.giphy.com/media/U0yZuAviGSCcg/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b9527mqb4xelvi3o90po7v40zbxbr9pqf9xdbfwdp9wi&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

And that, that is Lit

but also...

I did say an interactive zoo, duh!

 

[Neanderthal247]

I know that wasn’t meant for me, but I felt that message. I am largely undesirable on the dating/sexual market and I spent my best years feeling sorry for myself over it, even attempted suicide a few times because of it.

It took me until I turned 40 to realize that those who don’t want me have no authority on my worth.

It was meant for you and anyone else made to feel less than.


I'm happy you realized your worth



Edited to add: You tried to end yourself and look at you now, you're here and that's very special. Be very proud of yourself.