What Are You Nosey About Today?? 🦝

I’m nosey about hits to the ego when you’re rejected from a social circle or crush or potential lover or x personal interaction. How do you manage those hits? When confronted with no, where do you go?

Do you get sassy and salty? Do you accept gracefully that you’re not for everyone? Do you create a new narrative to make it acceptable to your ego? Do you burn the whole house down? Do you persist and persist and persist?

Where do you go when you hear no?

I tend to not put myself out there enough to get a 'no', which is a whole other problem. But if I do, I like to think I accept it gracefully. At least externally lol Internally is another story
 
I just got “dumped” by someone very nicely. It made me chuckle because a week ago I didn’t know he existed. Told a friend about it and moved on. If he tries to hook up again in the future I might be spiteful, but honestly I probably wouldn’t remember him.

Persisting is for losers. If they aren’t responding, have some self respect and move on. No answer is an answer. Just my feelings, I know it probably sounds harsh but I wasted a chunk of my life on someone who didn’t feel the same.

Here's where I'll disagree.

There is a difference between persistence and desperation.
Yes you can move on if their not responding. I agree with that.

The thing is you never know what people need unless you engage in conversation.
Just my thoughts but what do I know?
 
I’m nosey about hits to the ego when you’re rejected from a social circle or crush or potential lover or x personal interaction. How do you manage those hits? When confronted with no, where do you go?

Do you get sassy and salty? Do you accept gracefully that you’re not for everyone? Do you create a new narrative to make it acceptable to your ego? Do you burn the whole house down? Do you persist and persist and persist?

Where do you go when you hear no?
I know I am not everybody’s cup of tea and accept that gracefully.
 
I’m nosey about hits to the ego when you’re rejected from a social circle or crush or potential lover or x personal interaction. How do you manage those hits? When confronted with no, where do you go?

Do you get sassy and salty? Do you accept gracefully that you’re not for everyone? Do you create a new narrative to make it acceptable to your ego? Do you burn the whole house down? Do you persist and persist and persist?

Where do you go when you hear no?

Tbh, I usually just blend back in to the background. I take time off if I need to regroup. Rejection sucks. But at the same time, it's not the end of your life.
 
If they’re barely responding or not responding at all, they either need space or they’re not interested. Trying to continue the conversation with a brick wall isn’t good for the head butting up against that wall.

I get that.
Some of the best friends I have made have been from just being there, even if I was not interested in more than friendship in the first place.
Just my nature.
 
I’m nosey about hits to the ego when you’re rejected from a social circle or crush or potential lover or x personal interaction. How do you manage those hits? When confronted with no, where do you go?

Do you get sassy and salty? Do you accept gracefully that you’re not for everyone? Do you create a new narrative to make it acceptable to your ego? Do you burn the whole house down? Do you persist and persist and persist?

Where do you go when you hear no?

I don’t think I make a new narrative but I do understand that I might not be for everyone for different reasons. I don’t have a great deal of anger within me, so no burning and I don’t waste my energy on situations that no longer suit me (not being wanted doesn’t suit me).

Depending on the person/people, I will certainly be hurt and take some quiet time to feel, think, and find my way to closure.

Persisting is for losers.

This statement seems a bit judgmental. Someone who is hurt has to find their own path for moving forward. For some people, going through the “persistent” stage is necessary. While I agree it is likely a futile effort, rejection is difficult and I don’t think trying to hold on makes anyone a loser.
 
I’m nosey about hits to the ego when you’re rejected from a social circle or crush or potential lover or x personal interaction. How do you manage those hits? When confronted with no, where do you go?

Do you get sassy and salty? Do you accept gracefully that you’re not for everyone? Do you create a new narrative to make it acceptable to your ego? Do you burn the whole house down? Do you persist and persist and persist?

Where do you go when you hear no?


Lol...their loss. Only top shelf recognizes top shelf.
 
I’m nosey about hits to the ego when you’re rejected from a social circle or crush or potential lover or x personal interaction. How do you manage those hits? When confronted with no, where do you go?

Do you get sassy and salty? Do you accept gracefully that you’re not for everyone? Do you create a new narrative to make it acceptable to your ego? Do you burn the whole house down? Do you persist and persist and persist?

Where do you go when you hear no?


I open the door for rejection whenever possible. It makes it easier and less awkward for everyone. It usually looks like "Hey do you want to x? If not, that's totally fine! No pressure." It makes it easy for the other person to say no if they need to and it makes it easier to receive it if I have to.

I'm trying to remember a time when rejection really just wrecked my shop and I can't. I think I spend enough time making sure things seem like they're moving in a positive trajectory before stepping out too far.

On the flip side, I find saying no extremely difficult. I'm a people pleaser and when at all possible I want to give everyone what they want. But there are times when No is the answer and the way that person reacts tells me everything I need to know about them.
 
Fara brings up a good thought.

I've always been about boundaries even though in the past I have ignored some. When it comes to what you reveal on here, what do you consider your boundary?

Many of my boundaries are based on previous experiences and mistakes I have made.
Like the Hug thing for example.
I have learned that I can't hug everyone cause some folks don't like it.
I don't keep a spreadsheet of who to hug, but I see it as a boundary.
 
I’m nosey about hits to the ego when you’re rejected from a social circle or crush or potential lover or x personal interaction. How do you manage those hits? When confronted with no, where do you go?

Do you get sassy and salty? Do you accept gracefully that you’re not for everyone? Do you create a new narrative to make it acceptable to your ego? Do you burn the whole house down? Do you persist and persist and persist?

Where do you go when you hear no?

I've learned to take a hint when I'm not welcome. Most of the time it doesn't bother me. But if it's someone who I thought I was already friends with or had some kind of relationship with, then it gets a whole lot tougher. That's when my mood starts to spiral downward and I'll go into a funk for a while. Could be a few hours. Could be a few days or more. I don't usually persist because there's rarely a best-case scenario that doesn't suck. If they're not feeling it, they're not feeling it - not usually a whole lot to be done about that.
 
I think you have to go into Lit with some pretty solid boundaries of what you will share, what you will value in people here, and how far you will go to communicate. Those have evolved in general now that I am on my own, and sometimes they can be adjusted on an individual basis
 
I'm nosey about how long it took people to move from Stage 1 of Lit (like a fat kid in a candy store) to Stage 2 of Lit (slightly jaded and not as willing to entertain new messages). For me, I think I'm started to feel used in certain cases, so I need to shut down that crap.
I am still like a kid in a candy store. I will chat with anybody and normally always respond to PMs. I have had a difficult few weeks and haven’t been responding as much but those messages are still in my inbox and I will respond some time this week. I welcome new messages as I like conversation. If the conversation is of a type that I don’t want to talk about, I just politely let the person know. I haven’t had any bad responses.

The feeling used part is something that I haven’t experienced and I guess it could take different forms. Are you always giving advice and support but not receiving it when you have a problem? Is it that you are always there when somebody wants to chat but you find they only come to talk to you when nobody else is around? Is it that you want longer-term friends with benefits but they move on once they have had their fun? For the first two of these, I would talk to the person and let them know how they made me feel. Sometimes it can be a miscommunication and they don’t realise that you also need them sometimes too. For the FWB scenario, make your intentions clear or change your expectations. You can’t say that you are in it for the fun but then want something more.
 
I am still like a kid in a candy store. I will chat with anybody and normally always respond to PMs. I have had a difficult few weeks and haven’t been responding as much but those messages are still in my inbox and I will respond some time this week. I welcome new messages as I like conversation. If the conversation is of a type that I don’t want to talk about, I just politely let the person know. I haven’t had any bad responses.

The feeling used part is something that I haven’t experienced and I guess it could take different forms. Are you always giving advice and support but not receiving it when you have a problem? Is it that you are always there when somebody wants to chat but you find they only come to talk to you when nobody else is around? Is it that you want longer-term friends with benefits but they move on once they have had their fun? For the first two of these, I would talk to the person and let them know how they made me feel. Sometimes it can be a miscommunication and they don’t realise that you also need them sometimes too. For the FWB scenario, make your intentions clear or change your expectations. You can’t say that you are in it for the fun but then want something more.



So, I'm the goober that responds to every message I get. That being said, I don't get some of the classics like "You know your pussy wants this dick" or 'How wet are you right now". I find it fun getting to know new people
 
So, I'm the goober that responds to every message I get. That being said, I don't get some of the classics like "You know your pussy wants this dick" or 'How wet are you right now". I find it fun getting to know new people

I used to take some effort and give some snarky comments to guys who sent things like this. To "You know your pussy wants this dick" I'd reply "Yeah, my pussy wants your dick as much as it wants gonorrhea!". To 'How wet are you right now" I'd say "It was wet until I saw who sent this PM; then it dried up faster than the Sahara!"

Now I just tell them to fuck off and block them. I'm getting too old to deal with men who act like horny teenagers.
 
I don’t think I make a new narrative but I do understand that I might not be for everyone for different reasons. I don’t have a great deal of anger within me, so no burning and I don’t waste my energy on situations that no longer suit me (not being wanted doesn’t suit me).

Depending on the person/people, I will certainly be hurt and take some quiet time to feel, think, and find my way to closure.



This statement seems a bit judgmental. Someone who is hurt has to find their own path for moving forward. For some people, going through the “persistent” stage is necessary. While I agree it is likely a futile effort, rejection is difficult and I don’t think trying to hold on makes anyone a loser.
I tend to agree with Stacy.

Persistence can keep a friendship or relationship going during difficult times, and sees it through to better ones. It's taken persistence and determination to maintain mine my best and closest ones, both LDRs and in-person. And, actually, I'm quite proud of that.

That's not the same as staying with an unsatisfactory friendship or relationship, when you know it to be unsatisfactory and can see your efforts aren't improving it. That's more likely to be inertia or a lack of confidence, or because you're stuck for other reasons. Not persistence.

And *being* persistent, in the sense of continuing to pester someone who has already said they aren't interested, is just obnoxious.
 
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