what am I?

[Caitais61524]

How do you find out if your a sub or a dom? I have read through these personals so much my eyes are bugging out and my shoulders hurt and still I have no idea.Is there a test or something?

 

[Auraka6669]

Not really.

It's a personal preference. Either you like power, or you don't. Hell at that, you don't even have to like BDSM! You can just be you without being Dom or sub.... Lastly you could be a switch witch likes a bit of both.

 

[leeroy jenkins]

Being submissive or dominant is something that comes from within and is then expressed outwards. Its a journey and you might start in a submissive position and then move to a more dominate one. Caitais the thing is no one should tell you what you are, personal exploration is how you can find out.

 

[hrnyhrny]

a little bit of help, I hope: Dominance is guiding another to feel emotions unimagined, joys never before thought possible and affection without measure. Submission is a gift that must be earned through passion and compassion it can be given, but never taken.

 

[Tuomas]

Hi, I am the Unsolicited Advice Giver, UAG beta. My adivice is:

Go to the BDSM section and read a D/s story. What character do you identify with? Is that character a dom or a sub? Or both?

But, that you don't know would kind of mean you are a switch....

Still, it would probably be good to know what you want before you post or read a personal...

Thank you for your interested in Tuomas Software Inc. Have a nice day.

 

[amadaun]

I'm gonna second Tuomas up there on the story-reading idea. Do you want to control someone - or be controlled? Inflict pain - or recieve it? Tie someone up - or be tied up? All good points to ponder. And hey, you might like both.

 

[Famosae]

I think people label themselves and others (in this community as well as in others) in order to better understand where they fit in the world. It takes time to really understand who someone is, and labels make it easier. It's sort of like the Kinsey scale for sexuality. (Basically, he says that people don't necessarily fall into categories like gay or straight, but rather that everyone falls somewhere on a continuum.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale

I don't think the label matters as much as what you find fulfilling. Ask yourself what you'd like to experience and go with that. If it doesn't work for you, at least you've learned something.

 

[Kailey_86]

i think it's just a part of you. Do you know what the roles are of a submissive and a Dominant? You said you spent a lot of time in the personals but do you know much about D/s? Knowing more about it might help you decide what you might be. i suggest going to www.submissiveloving.com to learn more.

 

[trojan_man_co]

ill voice my 2 cents why, cus im a switch. i look at both sides. there are times i crave the feeling of a dominant person taking control and helping me realize the depth of who i really am and what i want out of life. and there are other times when i am ready to take a subbie by the hand and help her on her own journey of self discovery. all in all its an internal thing that you must through thought through experimentation and other things find out... another TEST you could do is fill out a kink form. there are lists out there cant name any off the top of my head but others will im sure, which go though item by item kink by kink and list the limits and things you can do during sex. when looking at it you can tell if most of them you want done to you, or if you’d want to do them to someone else, and you can begin to get a feeling of yourself, and who you are.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

How do you find out if your a sub or a dom? I have read through these personals so much my eyes are bugging out and my shoulders hurt and still I have no idea.Is there a test or something?

lol...sorry the 'test' thing made me giggle i'm not laughing at you. anyway, it's all about who YOU say you are. do you like to be submissive? do you like to control? it's a question only YOU can answer, none of us can tell you the answer to this question.....

 

[trisquel_astur]

try this Test .
Then sit and think.
Then read a lot about our lifestyle.
Then sit and think.
Then talk a lot with us (or similar forums all around the word).
Then sit and think.
Then sit and think.
Then sit and think.

And take a decision.

I beg you sit and think a lot.

We all are here for give you a hand and try to put some clear in all your questions.

hope see you here often,
Angel

 

[Shankara20]

Read Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame and Gloria Brame

Pay attention to the parts that turn you on and the parts that turn you off - How your body reacts will point you in the direction.

When I read it the first time years ago I noticed that I got hard reading some of the chapters and not other chapters. That turned out to be a fair indicator of who I am as a player today.