What a mother's day card was not meant to lead to !

[DannyBoyUK]

OOC
Closed thread for Strawberry Pez and myself

IC
The card which Simon Bell had bought for his mother was not the usual kind of a card which a son ought to purchase.

It was the sort of Mothers Day card which husbands bought to mark the occasion.

Alison Bell did not know quite how to deal with the card which contained a condom and some humourous comment about preventing more kids.

The joke would have been funny if it had come from her (now estranged) husband but was probably inappropriate coming from Simon.

As she sat at the kitchen table reading it over, her son came in.

"Like the card, mom ?"

 

[DannyBoyUK]

(I always liked this one)

Open to any takers!

 

[SugarDeSpice]

I think I may be up to the challenge

 

[SugarDeSpice]

Alison

Alison looked up at her son as he entered.

"Like the card mom?" he ased her.

She bit her full pouty lower lip, "Well I'm certainly glad you appreciate me enough to remember me on this day...but what prompted you to give me a card like this?"

 

[DannyBoyUK]

"It - uh - just seemed a good - err - one to get when I saw it on the shelf, mom - errrm - I think maybe I was saying - uhhh - that I am glad and proud to be your only son and therefore - errrm - the one entitled to one hundred per cent of your momsy-type attention."

The number of pauses in his response made it transparently plain that the card had more meaning and purpose than that.

 

[SugarDeSpice]

Alison

Alison lifted an auburn brow, she didn't believe him for one second...but wanted to probe a bit more.

"Well thank you darling, but you don't have to worry...there is no way that your dear ole mom will be getting knocked up anytime soon." She supressed the grin at his blush, knowing that she was pushing some sort of button. Good she though, since he tried to push hers with the card.

 

[DannyBoyUK]

"So - you - uh - erm practice safe sex do you? That's what they call it at school in the sex education classes."

Whether deliberately or not, Alison was fairly successful at keeping her personal and boyfriend-oriented life hidden from her son. If there were regular boyfriends on the scene, he was unaware of them - all he knew was that he wanted to become part of her bedroom life - but how the dickens is a son supposed to raise that with a mother?

 

[SugarDeSpice]

Alison

Alison huffed. "The safest there is." None at all, she thought with a bit of longing.

"Simon...cut the bullshit, why on earth would you send a card like this to your mother?" Alison asked, changing the subject to steer her mind off her lack of a sex life.

 

[DannyBoyUK]

"Spose I wanted you to know that you are still a sexy woman.... was it inappropriate of me, mom? I didn't mean any offence whatsoever."

She would not believe just how sexy her son thought she was! For months she had been the number one in his rota of fantasy-wanks - in the last weeks she had been his one and only fantasy-wank.

 

[SugarDeSpice]

Alison

Alison sighed, "Well thank you for the complement son...but yes it was a tad bit inappropriate...that's something you give someone you're intimate with." She stood, "I hate to have to do this, but I can't keep this." She handed him the card back..."You use the...um protection inside...I don't want to be raising any grankinds anytime soon."

 

[DannyBoyUK]

"I haven't got anyone to use it with" he replied, handing the card back to her playfully

"I suppose" he added in as humourous a tone as he could muster "If you're saying that receiving the card goes along with intimacy - we could always get an ickle bit intimate, just so that it becomes a less inappropriate card for me to have sent you"

Contorted logic - but wow! as he thought it through, he was quite impressed at his own twisting of the argument.

 

[SugarDeSpice]

Alison

"Simon!!!" Alison's eyes got wide, with shock, at both his suggestion and the brief moment her mind contemplated doing just what he suggested.

 

[DannyBoyUK]

He put on a shocked expression himself

"Mom ? What did you think I meant by intimate then?"

This was going to be a good way of ascertaining the boundaries and framework within which he was working. He was still pleased with the speed with which his mind was working, especially given the proportion of it that was presently filled with images of his mother's naked body

 

[SugarDeSpice]

Alison huffed, "Don't play dumb with me boy, what else would I surmise when the word intimate is used in conjuction with a condom?"

Did he really think she was that unworldly?

 

[DannyBoyUK]

"Only as intimate as we let it be, surely?" he answered, this time stressing his own unworldliness.

"I mean we could just fill it with water and blow it up - or you could just show me how to roll it on - intimate didnt HAVE to mean using it for making love together, did it mom ?"

 

[SugarDeSpice]

"the word intimate doesn't usually go incide with water balloons and bananas covered with latex" Alison stated. Her lips quirking at the image of that.

 

[DannyBoyUK]

Simon

"I actually meant you rolling it on ME-E-E-E-E not a banana you silly thing" said Simon, trying to lighten the mood just a little. "You tell me what we need to do then to make the card less inappropriate - cos I'll be a bit offended if you won't accept it from me. I've given you a mother's day card every year for so long - and I don't want to break the routine."

 

[SugarDeSpice]

"Simon!!!!" Alison repeated shocked, yet again..."You have a dirty mind young man...you probably get that from me though"

She hadn't been what you would call a slut in her teenage years but she had certainly been a bit bawdy

 

[DannyBoyUK]

"So you gonna clean my mind up for me? I think that might be impossible you know.... we can't let this card go to waste, or at least this"

He held up the foil-wrapped condom. = "At least it isnt a four-pack..... so what we gonna do with it - intimate or not..."

And after a long pause he added "Preferably Intimate"

 

[SugarDeSpice]

Alison

Alison felt herself blush as heat pooled in her loins, "Simon are you seriously suggesting what I believe you are?"

She stared at her son, feeling shock and shame at the illicit feeling of arousal she felt at the thought

 

[DannyBoyUK]

"Depends what you think I am suggesting, mom" he teased "I DID say you could pick the level of intimacy.....I wouldnt want to go beyond anything you thought was acceptable."

Oh he was such a liar and he suspected she realised it too.

 

[SugarDeSpice]

Alison, being one who pushed back when pushed, took a step towards her son, her lips up to his ear and whispered, "Are you suggesting, my darling son, that we make love?"

 

[DannyBoyUK]

"I'm up for giving it a go , if you are" - he tried to sound casual but the eagerness that was beating through him was all too apparent.

Was she calling his bluff? He prayed that this was not so.

 

[SugarDeSpice]

Alison felt her panties moisten as she fought the urge to give in, he couldn't be serious, she thought.

Determined to push his buttons she whispered, "Well then darling why don't we take this on up to my room?"

 

[DannyBoyUK]

"Lead on MacDuff" he exclaimed, showing off his knowledge of the Shakespeare play they were studying at school.

She walked to the stairwell, still probably half suspecting that he would chicken out.

He stridently followed after her, condom in hand, determined to see whether she was really going to see this through.