Well stone the bleeding crows

[starrkers]

It doesn't mention the dingos that attack in packs and the platypuses with their poison spurs and the poisonous sea snakes. It does include a koala, which I always thought were pretty harmless.

Or crocodiles; or kangaroos which can disembowel you with their claws; or irukandji (a tropical killer jellyfish only an inch long); or moray eels; several species of tropical fish; cassowaries (are particularly nasty tempered bird); noit to mention all the insects and plants...the song would've lost it's humour and been half an hour long if they'd mentioned them all. They just chose the most commonly known ones.

 

[starrkers]

Koalas bite! And they smell really bad, too.

And they're bad tempered and have bloody long claws.

 

[oggbashan]

Koalas also pee on tourists who pick them up for a cuddle...

Kookaburras, my favourite hate, wake up in the night and call like a dozen road drills operating at once. When one stirs, they all wake up for a chorus.

You are more likely to die in a traffic accident than be killed by any of Australia's wildlife.

Og

 

[Guest]

Damnation! We have those monsters in abundance.

They're called Giant Crab Spiders and they get bigger than that one.

They're quick as thought and they laugh at bug sprays.

What do they eat?

Rodents?

Cows?

 

[feeeriek]

What do they eat?

Rodents?

Cows?

elephants *nods sagely*

 

[Guest]

elephants *nods sagely*

I'd be afraid it would carry off small children.

 

[rgraham666]

clock spider?

http://www.fazed.org/blog/images/clockspider.jpg

http://www.fazed.org/blog/images/clockspider2.jpg

Huntsman spider, I believe.

There's a wasp that preys on them. There's always something that eats you or feeds you to their young.

 

[rgraham666]

The main reason I want to visit Australia is to see all the cool wildlife.

Monotremes. Bulldog ants.

That spider that has the unique hunting style. It spins a net that it holds in its four front legs. When prey gets close enough it reaches out and grabs them in the net.

Australia has such cool wildlife.

 

[impressive]

Damnation! We have those monsters in abundance.

They're called Giant Crab Spiders and they get bigger than that one.

They're quick as thought and they laugh at bug sprays.

Got 'em here, too. I have a version of the "clock spider" with the legs sticking out of a vent grill.

I've found that the IMProvised hairspray-blowtorch is very effective, albeit rough on the carpet.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I served in Vietnam with a squadron of Ozzie flyers. The lads lived right next door to me. On Christmas Day several of them formed a chorus and sang obscene carols on the street outside the orphanage. Like this one:

Jingle bells,
Mortar shells,
VC in the grass.
Take your Merry Christmas
And stick it up your ass.

The wild critters everyone fears must be the Sheilas. It's likely.

 

[keeblercrumb]

Oh I loved my time working in Australia.... in South Yarra, Melbourne... More pubs within walking distance than I could count...

I had a friend who swore he had the following exchange at Australia immigration upon landing....

Immigration Officer: "' 'ave you ever been convicted of a crime? "
Friend: "Why? Is it still a requirement?"



-KC

 

[rgraham666]

I had a friend who swore he had the following exchange at Australia immigration upon landing....

Immigration Officer: "' 'ave you ever been convicted of a crime? "
Friend: "Why? Is it still a requirement?"



-KC

Good one.

 

[starrkers]

And I'll bet the poor bugger rolled his eyes and thought "Jeeze another bloody comedian".

Of course it's a requirement! None of you toe-the-line toadies for us!

 

[DesertPirate]

And I'll bet the poor bugger rolled his eyes and thought "Jeeze another bloody comedian".

Of course it's a requirement! None of you toe-the-line toadies for us!

It seems like a fun place, I have to get there someday

 

[starrkers]

"Seems like a fun place"? Only "seems"??

Hey, it's a fantastically fun place - I live here, remember?

 

[voluptuary_manque]

"Seems like a fun place"? Only "seems"??

Hey, it's a fantastically fun place - I live here, remember?

But I want to go where the buffalo roam, up north of you. And if y'all ever do open a season on salties . . . And what would a trip to Oz be without diving the Great Barrier . . . and fishing for barramundi . . . and roasted magpie goose. Shrimp on the barbie I can do myself.

 

[starrkers]

Sorry, can't help there. Only got pigs and goats around here. Oh and foxes and dogs and cats.
Fishing's a bit off lately too - not enough water for 'em.