well, it's over.

[catalina_francisco]

Greg Behrendt, of whom I'm a big fan, has made a career out of a single phrase:

"He's just not that into you."

It doesn't mean that you're not awesome. It doesn't mean this guy was a monster. He's clearly just not that into you. It's not a big deal. It happens to everyone.

Hmm, you think he would be impressed to know both mods on the Lit BDSM forum promote his book and words regularly?

Catalina

 

[DVS]

This puts a whole new spin on that redneck joke:

You might be a redneck if your idea of entertainment is a bugzapper and a six pack.

You might be a redneck, if you buy a bug zapper and acually use it to swat bugs.

 

[Chicklet]

Hmm, you think he would be impressed to know both mods on the Lit BDSM forum promote his book and words regularly?

Catalina

i've read it, actually. lol.

one day when i was whining about the last guy that broke my heart my roommate grabbed the book off of her shelf and started beating me with it. I was like AAARGH OKAY OKAY I'LL READ IT!!!!

 

[graceanne]

i've read it, actually. lol.

one day when i was whining about the last guy that broke my heart my roommate grabbed the book off of her shelf and started beating me with it. I was like AAARGH OKAY OKAY I'LL READ IT!!!!

LOL I'll have to remember that way of book promotion.

 

[brioche]

i've read it, actually. lol.

one day when i was whining about the last guy that broke my heart my roommate grabbed the book off of her shelf and started beating me with it. I was like AAARGH OKAY OKAY I'LL READ IT!!!!

Is there that much more than the title that it's worth reading?

 

[brioche]

LOL I'll have to remember that way of book promotion.

Also good: leaving books around the house for fellow bibliophiles to pick up and read.

Bad: leaving a book about Inspector Morse dying of heart failure lying around the house for an unsuspecting brioche to pick up and read five months after her grandmother dies of congestive heart failure. (I didn't notice the letters said "The *final* Inspector Morse Mystery") I read it until four a.m., crying, and eventually cried myself to sleep.

Sorry, still having issues with that one.

Maybe I should try beating my mum with books. Then she'd be reading the ones I've already read and stop stealing half-read ones.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Bad: leaving a book about Inspector Morse dying of heart failure lying around the house for an unsuspecting brioche to pick up and read five months after her grandmother dies of congestive heart failure. (I didn't notice the letters said "The *final* Inspector Morse Mystery") I read it until four a.m., crying, and eventually cried myself to sleep.

Sorry, still having issues with that one.

Sorry you have this pain to work through. I know for myself. even though my father has been gone for over 2 years, it is easy to set it all off again. I recently had to be interviewed for something and the topic of my father's death arose. I remember thinking 'stop asking more questions about this before I lose it', which I think she must have sensed just before going too far as she changed the subject quickly. Still, it filled my mind for another couple of days until I was able to put it back where it lives most of the time. The unexpected moments of grief are the ones which frustrate me the most....they just come out of nowhere.

Catalina

 

[Chicklet]

Is there that much more than the title that it's worth reading?

honestly i didn't think so. i think everyone knows this stuff already. you KNOW when he doesn't like you. the thing is, acknowledging that he doesn't like you and DOING something about it: leaving him.

 

[DVS]

honestly i didn't think so. i think everyone knows this stuff already. you KNOW when he doesn't like you. the thing is, acknowledging that he doesn't like you and DOING something about it: leaving him.

I watch his show, from time to time. He seems to have the answers and he does a good job of spelling out the guest's problem by referenceing something from his past that's similar. You always come away from it with "that was the logical answer and I knew that".

Recently, there was a mother, farther and daughter on the show. Father and daughter were in a band and had regional success, but that's all. Daughter is a good singer, and loves the life, and dad looks and acts liike the old rocker that couldn't make it and so he's using his daughter to live out his dream.

The problem? Mother, who lived through the father's battles of trying to "make it" in the biz, and is now seeing the same things happen to her lovely daugher, is taking the pesemistic attitude and thinks they are wasting their time (yes, it is very difficult to make it in music, because not only is talent necessary, but look and attitude and a massive desire to make it above all else in life is necessary. It can drain a person).

So, taking that attitude, mother would rather they both grow up and let the daughter go to college and make something of herself. And, in the back of your mind, you think that's going to be the answer Greg will come up with, too. He's also an old rocker from way back who didn't make it big.

But, as the story unfolds, he talks to the daughter alone and she is torn between her own desires for success and her dad's desires for her success. He's also her manager and she wants to please him, but actually would rather try the biz on her own, without his input. Not that he's a bad influence, or making the same mistakes he's already made, but because she's now in her 20s, she wants control of her life to make it or fail on her own.

Even though she really wants her dream, the practical answer is you need something to fall back on, in case your dream doesn't happen. Because it's so difficult and the odds are stacked so high against it ever happening, those on the outside looking in always see it as a childish dream that you should grow out of and then do something sensable with your life. Her dad is the perfect example of this. He has nothing to fall back on, and he's now an old racker wannabe still looking for his big break. The mother loves him, but she lived through that with him and now she doesn't want the same for her daughter.

Now, I've been through some of this myself and you never get over the "maybe some day" feeling...ever. So, the only thing you can do is make that effort and try your best, so when you don't make it, you can live with that nagging in your gut the rest of your life. If you really have the talent and you don't try, that "I should have tried" feeling stabs at you, and it's not pretty. That's compounded by your family and friends who keep reciting the odds against it ever happening...you should just grow up,

I was bothered by this show, thinking the practical answer is college, but my own struggle is so similar and know how she would feel if she gave it up. I also know how the father feels, too. But, I also can see the mother's side, and although it's sad, it's the practical answer and the way to go. Society is full of choices like this.

Well, Greg comes through...suggests dad should just be dad, and mom should just be mom and tells the daugher that because she's an adult, she can do what she wants with her life. College will wait...explore your dream on your own terms for a while, to see how it goes. Then, you can make a choice later about college, if you decide the biz just isn't making it.

This wasn't the answer I thought he was going to give her. And, I think most people would go the logical route, because that's the sensible answer. But, if you've been there, you know that feeling that doesn't ever go away and so you have an insight that others don't have. So, even though the sensible route might seem the best, that "should have tried" feeling will be there to dog you. I'm glad Greg had also lived through that in his own life, so he could give her the answer he did. Greg knows that nagging feeling. Now, she can give it a try, and if she makes it, great. But, if she doesn't make it, she can take that more sensible route of college.

Family and friends need to understand that feeling that's inside of you. It's always nagging you, but you have your own doubts, too. That doubt and the feeling pull and push against each other so you are always on the edge of giving up. So when family and friends aren't behind you, the doubt and that "just grow up" idea has more weight. Sometimes, the choice is to go sensible, not knowing that the nagging will be there for ever and ever.

Greg mae the right choice. He told mother and father to back their daugher up and let her be herself. It's not going to be easy, but at least she won't have to deal with someone on the outside nagging at her to just grow up. Hey folks, there's always time for sensible. Dreams don't wait. That's the logical answer and I knew that.

Sorry, I just noticed I kind of went on an off topic rant. I sometimes digress. So, deal with it.

 

[Etoile]

Sorry I missed this sweetie. {{hugs}}

 

[Chicklet]

thank you.

hating myself for not being over it yet lol...