well, it's over.

[DVS]

Will you settle for generic alprazolam?
http://i207.photobucket.com/albums/bb229/fogwnh/Alprazolam.jpg

Same result, and cheaper, too. I guess I'm just a generic kind of guy.

 

[JMohegan]

I have almost always fucked on the first date, but very rarely had a one-night stand. (In fact, the only time I was dumped after one date was a time that I refused to have sex when I was fourteen. Oh, and another guy who I knew was only interested in the sex and nothing else.) Most of my relationships have developed over time, with sex as a piece of the equation.

So it is possible for women to open their legs quickly and keep a man's interest (even when the men are young).

In fact I think it is wonderful for women to express their sexuality freely, both the intensity of their desire and the range of their imagination. Many girls are taught in puberty that their sexuality is dangerous/shameful/etc. in order to keep them from getting pregnant as children. But I would hate for young women to feel that there's a rule that they shouldn't have sex because men won't respect them.

Free expression of sexuality is wonderful, no doubt.

However, there's obviously an enormous difference between sex with someone you don't know very well, and sex with someone you care about very much.

If a woman says that she wants to wait for the physical to be more in sync with the emotional, that's an attitude that I appreciate very much - for the simple reason that it matches my own. If I am interested in a long-term relationship with a woman, I'm a tortoise, not a hare.

But it would be incorrect to infer that I therefore disrespect those who engage in casual sex or those who begin relationships with sex early on. I don't.

To me, this is a question of personal preference. Not character.

 

[FurryFury]

Bluntness moment...

HE started up all the drama. If his "fuck buddy" was really just a "fuck buddy", then they'd have had an agreement that non-monogomy was perfectly okay, which would result in it being okay for him to be sexually active with you. From the fallout that occured, I'd say the non-monogomy chat probably didn't occur, and *he* might have seen her as a "fuck buddy" (wishful thinking which grants access to screwing around), but *she* saw them as being in a relationship. He cheated, got caught, and you are paying the price. It sucks, but seeing his behaviour for what it is, rather than assigning him the victim role ("it's not necessarily his fault she started up with all this drama...") will give you tools to make wiser decisions next time.

GREAT point CM!

I'm glad you said it.

Fury

 

[Evil_Geoff]

i want a violet wand *whine*

Come on over, you can borrow mine... *weg*

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Yet you decry sexual promiscuity in ethical terms.

Okay, I'm lost. Where did I decry sexual promiscuity? I have no problems with someone wanting to have sex or having sex. The point I was trying to make was that if someone wants a relationship they should spend time building the relationship before jumping in the sack. And how many of us have felt like we've totally fucked up a great friendship by adding sex to the equation? *shrugs* It happens.

I have a different view on this, and disagree with the idea that seeking multiple casual sexual encounters implies anything other than a preference for the same.

Again, absolutely nothing I said was relating in any way to those who want or need that. I've been in poly relationships before, multiple partners and all that. Nothing wrong with it at all. Got several friends in the swinging community, not my thing and I scare them but hey, it's cool. But that's not what Chicklet has professed a desire for so my comments were addressed to give her some options to consider in finding what she's looking for.

I respect your perspective, Geoff, and am not criticizing it here. Just offering a different one.

No criticizm taken, I'm just wondering where you got the idea that I had any objections to sexual activity on ethical grounds? I'm scratching my head and wondering WTF did THAT come from?

 

[Chicklet]

Come on over, you can borrow mine... *weg*

honestly i really want to try one out, or, have one tried out on me as the case may be, before comitting to the purchase. I mean, if i buy one, i don't want to buy the standard no exciting pieces kit, i want the whole nine yards!

come to portland *cry* go to the munches with me *cry* hurt me 'a little bit' *good cry*

 

[Marquis]

Why buy the pig just to get a little sausage?

Gracie, you've got a Zen thing going on, big time.





Chickles, based on my expert analysis of this situation, I am prepared to offer you my prognosis. Who can tell me what a prognosis is?

That's right, a prognosis is a prediction or forecasting, as opposed to a diagnosis which relates to a problem's nature or origin. I think what you need is a prognosis, not a diagnosis.

So pardon me if I don't tell you what a jerk this guy is and what an amazing life force you have and all that other touchy-feely bullshit. I'm into talking about life as it is, not as it should be.

Greg Behrendt, of whom I'm a big fan, has made a career out of a single phrase:

"He's just not that into you."

It doesn't mean that you're not awesome. It doesn't mean this guy was a monster. He's clearly just not that into you. It's not a big deal. It happens to everyone.

We all have to take that leap of faith sometimes and believe someone will be worth it. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. But hope is not a strategy.

I want to offer you my advice as a guy who has been on the other end of this scenario more times than you can imagine. Throughout my years, I have learned numerous strategies to aid me in balancing two very important but often conflicting goals.

Getting laid and minimizing drama.

The lowest drama women are whores. Not promiscuous women, but actual flesh peddlers. A strong distaste for drama drives many men to seek out this option exclusively. I'm less afraid of drama, but I'm not into getting my car keyed either.

When I was 15, I was in love with every girl who gave me a boner. 10 years later I'm more selective. Still much less selective than lots of people though.

These days if I want in a girls pants, I offer them information on a need to know basis. If she doesn't ask the right questions, I'll nudge her in the right direction. If she pulls back, I assume she doesn't want to know.

I think of this strategy as pretty fair. I don't see any need to coddle people if you treat them fairly.

Unfortunately, I find that I can tell a girl, "I'm not emotionally available and my schedule is pretty intense, but I do find you very attractive and I'd love for you to come over every once in a while."

and still get nasty emails, voicemails, rumors, etc. when they develop strong feelings anyway.


There are also girls who assume I'm lying. About everything. My relationship status, my name, everything.

Whether it's better to put yourself at risk or miss out is not something I can say. All I can say is pay attention. When a guy says something discouraging, believe him. He'll prove himself wrong if you're worth it.

On the other hand, the pain you feel now is an indicator on the pleasure you're missing out on. So be like Eulenspiegel and eat it up.

 

[Marquis]

It's not artificial lockdown, it's earning the right to get some. The vast overwhelming majority of males will do anything, say anything, promise anything to get laid, including making promises of leaving their current paramour, wife, sub, or fuckbuddy. As Chicklet has so painfully found out.

1 week, 2 weeks, some can even fake genuine interest for a month. Very, very few have the attention span or determination to continue the chase after 4 - 6 weeks if sex or play is all they are after. There are easier pickings out there.

In general terms (not specific individuals) men will become emotionally intimate and form relationships in order to get sex. Women will have sex in order to build relationships and establish emotional intimacy. The secret is making the men invest time and energy and themselves in building the relationship. Why should a guy bother investing if he's getting the benefits without the work? N'est pas?

I drove janey nuts... but I'm one of the oddball males. One of my standing rules now is "No sex unless I'm making a commitment". I freely admit that when I was in my teens and 20's I was a typical horndog and chased nookie with the best of 'em. Somewhere along the line I actually grew up and came to value my own sexuality, peace of mind, integrity, and honor more than getting my pecker wet. I drove janey nuts because we had been going out over 3 months before I finally decided I was going to run with the relationship and have sex with her.

She had been coming out of bad prior relationship and I wanted to make bloody sure she was on an even keel before I introduced that level of intimacy with her. That was over 4 years ago, and we're now engaged... I think I did something right along the way... *grins and shrugs*

But as with all my advice, feel free to use it if it works for you, and discard it if it doesn't.

I could see myself getting into this one day.

There is an excellent dom in my local scene who doesn't have sex with anyone. Anyone, not even his own slave. He has a strict policy of self-enforced celibacy.

He has that intense vibe of a guy who really needs to get laid, but he has total control over that energy. He's like a blind swordsman, unbelievable.

Personally, I like to get my prostate drained until I'm a little pile of giggling mush.

 

[Marquis]

By the way Chicklet, I think you'll find that people are infinitely more sympathetic to the plight of the sub fem over the male dom.

You're an attractive 25 year old submissive female, you wouldn't be ostracized from your local group if you were an escaped con.

 

[JMohegan]

Yet you decry sexual promiscuity in ethical terms.

Okay, I'm lost. Where did I decry sexual promiscuity?

Hey, Geoff. My comment was made in response to the text I've colored red in your post 48:

I drove janey nuts... but I'm one of the oddball males. One of my standing rules now is "No sex unless I'm making a commitment". I freely admit that when I was in my teens and 20's I was a typical horndog and chased nookie with the best of 'em. Somewhere along the line I actually grew up and came to value my own sexuality, peace of mind, integrity, and honor more than getting my pecker wet. I drove janey nuts because we had been going out over 3 months before I finally decided I was going to run with the relationship and have sex with her.

My apologies if I misunderstood or read too much into what you wrote. I inferred from your comments that you consider one type of behavior to be more ethical than the other.

Personally, I don't think that integrity and honor have anything to do with the shift from "chasing nookie" to settling down in relationships. That's the different perspective I was offering in response to your post.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

Always straight to the point eh Marques?

You're an attractive 25 year old submissive female, you wouldn't be ostracized from your local group if you were an escaped con.

 

[graceanne]

Personally, I like to get my prostate drained until I'm a little pile of giggling mush.

ROFLMAO I love this analogy.

 

[DVS]

honestly i really want to try one out, or, have one tried out on me as the case may be, before comitting to the purchase. I mean, if i buy one, i don't want to buy the standard no exciting pieces kit, i want the whole nine yards!

come to portland *cry* go to the munches with me *cry* hurt me 'a little bit' *good cry*

Sweetheart, didn't you read the limerick I wrote about this? I don't have enough cash to come visit. But if I did, I'd show you just what a violet wand feels like. I'd make sure you got the whole nine yards...don't worry about that. There's nothing more fun than showing a newbie the sting of a violet wand. God, the images that come to mind

 

[Chicklet]

i zapped myself with my fly zapper when i first bought it, before it got fly goobers all over it.

it was like an orgasm in my arm.

 

[TooTiredToLive]

i zapped myself with my fly zapper when i first bought it, before it got fly goobers all over it.

it was like an orgasm in my arm.

Did your fly zapper look something like this?
http://i207.photobucket.com/albums/bb229/fogwnh/flyswatter.jpg
If so, you could get another one -- they range in price from about $7-10 -- and try it on a bare bottom. I know from experience (I try toys on myself before using them on others) and from being told, it can pack a very nice, sting-y wallop!

 

[Chicklet]

well, i *KNOW* i could go to fred meyers and buy another one. it's probably even in the same place i bought the boogy filled one. but no point if nobody's gonna use it on me i'm not into hurting myself just for the hell of it.

 

[TooTiredToLive]

... but no point if nobody's gonna use it on me i'm not into hurting myself just for the hell of it.

Ahhh, but you could have it on hand for when the new, right someone comes into your life... and he WILL.

 

[Xelebes]

my barely beginning relationship which i thought was going really, really well (i even went up to his parents' house this weekend for dinner) has abruptly ended. for the second time in a year i've been given 12 hrs between sex and a break up. starting to think it's me.

i don't want chocolate.

i want drugs and alcohol. ok? thanks.

And he said to me, "take this pill"
I took it and then asked "What's that?"
And he said, "Ecstasy!"

And then he offered me a line
And I asked, "What's that"
And he said, "Ketamiiiine"
And so I took it.

And then I took some cocaine
And then some speed
And then some acid
And I drank 15 cans of Stellaaaaaaaa!

...


And I danced until Monday night.

 

[DVS]

well, i *KNOW* i could go to fred meyers and buy another one. it's probably even in the same place i bought the boogy filled one. but no point if nobody's gonna use it on me i'm not into hurting myself just for the hell of it.

Well, you could always sit on it by mistake and cum right then and there.

There is a place here in town that sells the zappers for under $5 bucks. I've got three. I've already altered one, so it works better.

Oh, and I don't waste mine on bugs.

Ever used that thing in the night? They put out a pretty nasty looking spark. They can also do a good job of turning someone into a willing servant, if you know what I mean.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Hey, Geoff. My comment was made in response to the text I've colored red in your post 48:My apologies if I misunderstood or read too much into what you wrote. I inferred from your comments that you consider one type of behavior to be more ethical than the other.

Personally, I don't think that integrity and honor have anything to do with the shift from "chasing nookie" to settling down in relationships. That's the different perspective I was offering in response to your post.

Ahhh... Understanding.

Back in the day I was your typical run by hormones, promise/do/say damn-near-anything to get laid teenager/twentysomething. Not a matter of ethics or lack of 'em, just gettnig a boner and wanting it taken care of by someone other than Rosie Palm and her 5 sisters... Somewhere along the line I grew up and developed a conscience. *sighs* It happens to some of us inspite of our desire to continue having care free, casual, no-strings sex.

IF I absolutely could not find anyone to build a long term relationship with I'd be screwed. But I suppose I could compartmentalize the various aspects of my life to have a house girl, a yard girl or boy, play partners, and someone to have sex with now and then. OR several someones. I want the whole package but I suppose I could live with getting bits and pieces of what I need from various sources.

Life is strange like that.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

and might I say that EG just made me squee.... just a little bit?


why can't more men be like you, sir?

*grins and shrugs, then smiles evilly...*

Are you really sure you WANT more men to be like me?

 

[graceanne]

Well, you could always sit on it by mistake and cum right then and there.

There is a place here in town that sells the zappers for under $5 bucks. I've got three. I've already altered one, so it works better.

Oh, and I don't waste mine on bugs.

Ever used that thing in the night? They put out a pretty nasty looking spark. They can also do a good job of turning someone into a willing servant, if you know what I mean.

This puts a whole new spin on that redneck joke:

You might be a redneck if your idea of entertainment is a bugzapper and a six pack.

 

[callinectes]

This puts a whole new spin on that redneck joke:

You might be a redneck if your idea of entertainment is a bugzapper and a six pack.

Snort..which reminds me of:

What are a redneck's last words? "Hey y'all, watch this!"

 

[graceanne]

Snort..which reminds me of:

What are a redneck's last words? "Hey y'all, watch this!"

A redneck's idea of foreplay? 'Get in the truck, bitch'.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

Yes..yes...yes..oh you're listening...I mean nope...never You are just too much for lil ole me.

d

*grins and shrugs, then smiles evilly...*

Are you really sure you WANT more men to be like me?