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http://gaijinchronicles.com/2010/07/13/no-sex-in-the-city/
Given some of the responses to a particular part of the last article I wrote, I felt compelled to write this one. It feels kind of familiar, but I searched the archive and didn’t find it, so I think I haven’t written it before. If I have…oh well.
Anyway, girls – yes, you too can have sex in Japan.
That sounds like a statement I shouldn’t even have to make. Like it should just be so blatantly obvious, that actually verbalizing it could be considered an insult. Kind of like walking up to a person and saying “So, you live on planet Earth, right?” or even walking up to Eddie Murphy and saying “Hey, so…you’re a black guy, right?” But the fact that I even have to write about this just goes to show you how special Japan is.
First, I guess a general overview. It should be common knowledge that women can get laid almost anytime they want. I know that here, some of the female members of the audience are shaking their heads and saying out loud “that’s not true!” If you happen to be a female who isn’t getting laid as much as you like, just know that its not because you can’t, but simply because of a lack of effort.
Yes ladies, you can get laid anytime you want. Go to a bar or a club, or any sort of social setting like that. Or hell, just go to Starbucks or a Barnes and Noble by yourself and loiter around for a bit. If that method is unappealing to you, simply turn to one of your numerous male friends (I know you have them) and say “I need to have sex, could you help me out?” Most of them will say yes.* Even if that doesn’t work for you, the internet has given us a radical new option. Just make a profile on any one of the adult-themed sites, and you will have hundreds of emails from guys offering it up. You will have guys willing to drive in from out of state for the specific reason of boning you. So really, all you need to do is let it be known that you want to have sex in the general presence of guys, and you will have men lining up to answer the call of booty.
*Here, I can hear some of the guys in the audience piping up “No, I wouldn’t hit any of my female friends! It’d be too weird…” To you, I say – stop lying. That, or congratulations on getting enough sex in your life to the point where you can be fairly choosy about it. If our female friends turned to us and said “I just want a night of sex – I promise it won’t get weird” and we actually believed that, most of us would take them up on that. …That being said, there are a few female friends who I wouldn’t have sex with, but mostly because through all the sex talks we had, I know it wouldn’t be any good even if I did. And ladies, if you turn to your male friends and ask “is this true?”, just know that he is probably not going to admit it, because if he did he knows you’re going to be looking at him with that “is he undressing me with his eyes right now?” look on your face, and he probably doesn’t get to hear about your sex life anymore.
For the most part, women don’t even have to make any effort. Just go outside regularly, and you will have guys hitting on you at some point in time. I know women who have made it their life’s creed to never ever ever approach a guy – this is the man’s job, and if he can’t do that then she isn’t interested. So in these cases, its not even that the woman has no choices – she simply doesn’t like what’s available to her. And here as well, I know there are going to be women who will say “I go outside and hit on guys all the time and get nowhere! Guys have deemed me unattractive” – I will say that I can sympathize, because I’ve been turned down solely on looks before, it sucks. I know your pain. However, at the same time, go look up BBW porn, or any sort random fetish porn. Realize that not only did these women get laid, but the guy doing it allowed himself to be caught on camera, and the fact that this is even a video means that there are guys out there who are going to jack off to this. Almost every day in Japan I see couples where the girl is way below average but the guy is decent looking. Ladies, unless you are actually the monster from Aliens, there is a guy out there somewhere willing to pork you. And I would bet money that there are guys out there willing to pork the Aliens monster too. You are not looking hard enough.
So hopefully, I have established that women, despite what they may say, can get laid anytime they want. Again, this feels like saying “Hey everyone, the sky is blue!”, but sometimes a little review is nice. Not all, but most women in America at least are accustomed to letting guys come to them. So when they say they can’t get laid, its just a matter of not liking the selection.
And then we have Japan, which kind of turns the system on its head.
Foreign women don’t get approached so much in Japan. Japanese guys don’t do it – they get scared and convince themselves of failure before they even start. Other foreign guys don’t do it – a fair portion of the foreign male population has Japanese blinders on, and wouldn’t approach a Gaijin girl, even if she were, say, Jessica Alba, because she’s “not quite as attractive” as your average Japanese girl. Yes, Yellow Fever is a frightening thing. Then you have other foreign guys, who would be receptive to dating a fellow Gaijin, but we usually never get the chance because the J-girls have taken the initiative.
Given some of the responses to a particular part of the last article I wrote, I felt compelled to write this one. It feels kind of familiar, but I searched the archive and didn’t find it, so I think I haven’t written it before. If I have…oh well.
Anyway, girls – yes, you too can have sex in Japan.
That sounds like a statement I shouldn’t even have to make. Like it should just be so blatantly obvious, that actually verbalizing it could be considered an insult. Kind of like walking up to a person and saying “So, you live on planet Earth, right?” or even walking up to Eddie Murphy and saying “Hey, so…you’re a black guy, right?” But the fact that I even have to write about this just goes to show you how special Japan is.
First, I guess a general overview. It should be common knowledge that women can get laid almost anytime they want. I know that here, some of the female members of the audience are shaking their heads and saying out loud “that’s not true!” If you happen to be a female who isn’t getting laid as much as you like, just know that its not because you can’t, but simply because of a lack of effort.
Yes ladies, you can get laid anytime you want. Go to a bar or a club, or any sort of social setting like that. Or hell, just go to Starbucks or a Barnes and Noble by yourself and loiter around for a bit. If that method is unappealing to you, simply turn to one of your numerous male friends (I know you have them) and say “I need to have sex, could you help me out?” Most of them will say yes.* Even if that doesn’t work for you, the internet has given us a radical new option. Just make a profile on any one of the adult-themed sites, and you will have hundreds of emails from guys offering it up. You will have guys willing to drive in from out of state for the specific reason of boning you. So really, all you need to do is let it be known that you want to have sex in the general presence of guys, and you will have men lining up to answer the call of booty.
*Here, I can hear some of the guys in the audience piping up “No, I wouldn’t hit any of my female friends! It’d be too weird…” To you, I say – stop lying. That, or congratulations on getting enough sex in your life to the point where you can be fairly choosy about it. If our female friends turned to us and said “I just want a night of sex – I promise it won’t get weird” and we actually believed that, most of us would take them up on that. …That being said, there are a few female friends who I wouldn’t have sex with, but mostly because through all the sex talks we had, I know it wouldn’t be any good even if I did. And ladies, if you turn to your male friends and ask “is this true?”, just know that he is probably not going to admit it, because if he did he knows you’re going to be looking at him with that “is he undressing me with his eyes right now?” look on your face, and he probably doesn’t get to hear about your sex life anymore.
For the most part, women don’t even have to make any effort. Just go outside regularly, and you will have guys hitting on you at some point in time. I know women who have made it their life’s creed to never ever ever approach a guy – this is the man’s job, and if he can’t do that then she isn’t interested. So in these cases, its not even that the woman has no choices – she simply doesn’t like what’s available to her. And here as well, I know there are going to be women who will say “I go outside and hit on guys all the time and get nowhere! Guys have deemed me unattractive” – I will say that I can sympathize, because I’ve been turned down solely on looks before, it sucks. I know your pain. However, at the same time, go look up BBW porn, or any sort random fetish porn. Realize that not only did these women get laid, but the guy doing it allowed himself to be caught on camera, and the fact that this is even a video means that there are guys out there who are going to jack off to this. Almost every day in Japan I see couples where the girl is way below average but the guy is decent looking. Ladies, unless you are actually the monster from Aliens, there is a guy out there somewhere willing to pork you. And I would bet money that there are guys out there willing to pork the Aliens monster too. You are not looking hard enough.
So hopefully, I have established that women, despite what they may say, can get laid anytime they want. Again, this feels like saying “Hey everyone, the sky is blue!”, but sometimes a little review is nice. Not all, but most women in America at least are accustomed to letting guys come to them. So when they say they can’t get laid, its just a matter of not liking the selection.
And then we have Japan, which kind of turns the system on its head.
Foreign women don’t get approached so much in Japan. Japanese guys don’t do it – they get scared and convince themselves of failure before they even start. Other foreign guys don’t do it – a fair portion of the foreign male population has Japanese blinders on, and wouldn’t approach a Gaijin girl, even if she were, say, Jessica Alba, because she’s “not quite as attractive” as your average Japanese girl. Yes, Yellow Fever is a frightening thing. Then you have other foreign guys, who would be receptive to dating a fellow Gaijin, but we usually never get the chance because the J-girls have taken the initiative.
