Well, Fuck me!

[Jenny_Jackson]

Now this is fucked up! I read a story posted on Lit. The bottom asked for comments and votes. Quite frankly the story was poorly written (about 4th grade level), the punctuation, grammar and paragraphing were horrid, the story unbelievable and a total lack of either plot or character development. This was your basic, I was walking down the street and some guy came along and fucked me, so I went home and watched tv story.

Completely out of character for me, I sent the writer a nice review, pointing out the run-on sentences, humoungous, long paragraphs (I'm Bilind...I'm Blind!), as well as the lack of plot and characterizations. I know this is out of character for me, but I was actually NICE in my comments.

This morning in my email is a scathing poison pen letter from this writer telling me, I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about because her editor had already approved the story with glowing compliments. I'm a bitch, but she makes both Cloudy and me look like angels.

Why in hell ask for comments if you think your writing is so great it doesn't need them?

 

[Guest]

But Jenny - you hurt my feelings!!!!

A shame. Nice of you to try to help (and be nice doing it.)



(I'm curious who the editor may be.)

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

I don't know, Sarrah, but she needs to dump that fool and find another one. That story stunk.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

How about a link to it so we can all pan it!

 

[Recidiva]

I think some authors need a "DON'T TOUCH ME! DON'T TOUCH ME!" category.

 

[Guest]

I think some authors need a "DON'T TOUCH ME! DON'T TOUCH ME!" category.

Laughing -

And they run around saying, "Eww Eww Eww Eww Eww!"

 

[Recidiva]

Laughing -

And they run around saying, "Eww Eww Eww Eww Eww!"

They need a little asthma inhaler as an icon for the category.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

How about a link to it so we can all pan it!

Here -

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=332260

Good thing she didn't try putting any dialogue in the story. That would have made it totally better than what it is (but then there would have been a lot more punctuation errors)

 

[Guest]

They need a little asthma inhaler as an icon for the category.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

JENNY

OH! Man! These folks should get some of the editorial feedback I get for my scribbles. The last one said something like, "Nice outline, where's the story?"

When people gotta pay for the editorial help mebbe they'll appreciate it.

Suggestion: Help people who value your expertise.

 

[Guest]

Here -

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=332260

Good thing she didn't try putting any dialogue in the story. That would have made it totally better than what it is (but then there would have been a lot more punctuation errors)

Thanks, but I don't think I'll read it.

I already have a negative opinion of the thing.

Besides - the football game is on.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

JENNY

I made it thru two sentences before I got my belly full.

I read a 200 page book last night. Couldnt put it down. It's a memoir of a cop. If a cop can do it, anyone can do it.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

JENNY

I made it thru two sentences before I got my belly full.

I read a 200 page book last night. Couldnt put it down. It's a memoir of a cop. If a cop can do it, anyone can do it.

Yeah. 3000 words of ugly discription didn't really do it for me either.

 

[jomar]

Yeah, I made it to "rivulets" then punted - just not my style. Too bad she couldn't take some constructive criticism.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Here -

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=332260

Good thing she didn't try putting any dialogue in the story. That would have made it totally better than what it is (but then there would have been a lot more punctuation errors)

Holy crap!

Looks like this write was going for the "I can write just like the good authors!" and got so deep into trying to write like something he/she may have read somewhere that he/she forgot to develop...well anything but stringing words together the made the thing read like a story, maybe.

Did I just type that?

 

[tickledkitty]

I made it through a couple paragraphs but then lost interest. Musta been those 5-inch "heals" that did me in.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Why in hell ask for comments if you think your writing is so great it doesn't need them?

Because for many writers, especially beginners, COMMENT, is a synonym for, COMPLIMENT.

And in the, "Oh, by the way" category, we all know you're one tough broad, but to finish the story after reading this opening paragraph is an outstanding example of hard-core critiquing, or mental instability, maybe both.

The rain seemed relentless in it's task to drench everything in its sight. Rivulets of water trickled down the slender column of her neck and traveled lower between the swells of those delicious full breasts. The white medieval bar wench like top that she had been wearing since late last night was clinging to the sweet curves of her body, dark rose colored nipples jutted out in protest to the cool breeze blowing through the dense forest around her. The thin sliver of a red silk cape did nothing to shield her from the weather all the way out here in the middle of natures elements.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Recidiva]

Because for many writers, especially beginners, COMMENT, is a synonym for, COMPLIMENT.

And in the, "Oh, by the way" category, we all know you're one tough broad, but to finish the story after reading this opening paragraph is an outstanding example of hard-core critiquing, or mental instability, maybe both.

The rain seemed relentless in it's task to drench everything in its sight. Rivulets of water trickled down the slender column of her neck and traveled lower between the swells of those delicious full breasts. The white medieval bar wench like top that she had been wearing since late last night was clinging to the sweet curves of her body, dark rose colored nipples jutted out in protest to the cool breeze blowing through the dense forest around her. The thin sliver of a red silk cape did nothing to shield her from the weather all the way out here in the middle of natures elements.

Rumple Foreskin

Oh! I remember trying to read that one. The words "white medieval bar wench like top" made me stare.

And yes, the aforementioned "heals" made me quietly close the story and read someone else's.

Nobody needs to hear the mating of my mind with that prose. Nobody.

ETA: Attempted mating, anyway.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Because for many writers, especially beginners, COMMENT, is a synonym for, COMPLIMENT.

And in the, "Oh, by the way" category, we all know you're one tough broad, but to finish the story after reading this opening paragraph is an outstanding example of hard-core critiquing, or mental instability, maybe both.

Rumple Foreskin

In this case, Total Insanity, I think

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

DR. FORESKIN

Her prose reminds me of the old York Peppermint Pattie commercials.

 

[Recidiva]

In this case, Total Insanity, I think

Sorry Jenny. Your editing is to be treasured.

Pearls, meet swine.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

DR. FORESKIN

Her prose reminds me of the old York Peppermint Pattie commercials.

Bro. Johnson, pass GO and give yourself $200.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

When I bite into a York Mint, I get the sensation that I’m sitting with a beautiful, intelligent girlfriend in the middle of romantic, candlelit Italian restaurant, holding her hands in mine and expressing my eternal love by whispering to her, “I love you dearly. When I first saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, but now I think you’re even more beautiful. I love everything about you. Your smile. Your eyes. Your mind. Your heart. Your soul. When I caress you, kiss you, or touch you, I feel only happiness that I never want to end. My soul is complete with you and I want to be with you forever.”

Then after pouring out my heart and soul, she says, “I’m leaving you because I’m a lesbian and I have you to thank for helping me realize that.”

When I bite into a York Mint, I get the sensation that I wake up half naked in a bathtub of ice in an abandoned, cockroach-infested apartment and on a table next to the tub is an old Nokia cell phone with a half-charged battery and a note that has the carefully-written address of my location and the words, “We’ve taken one of your kidneys, call 911 immediately.”

All of this happened after meeting some dude with an Eastern European accent about a futon couch he was selling for $20 on Craigslist because he was moving to another city.

 

[neonlyte]

Now this is fucked up! I read a story posted on Lit. The bottom asked for comments and votes. Quite frankly the story was poorly written (about 4th grade level), the punctuation, grammar and paragraphing were horrid, the story unbelievable and a total lack of either plot or character development. This was your basic, I was walking down the street and some guy came along and fucked me, so I went home and watched tv story.

Completely out of character for me, I sent the writer a nice review, pointing out the run-on sentences, humoungous, long paragraphs (I'm Bilind...I'm Blind!), as well as the lack of plot and characterizations. I know this is out of character for me, but I was actually NICE in my comments.

This morning in my email is a scathing poison pen letter from this writer telling me, I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about because her editor had already approved the story with glowing compliments. I'm a bitch, but she makes both Cloudy and me look like angels.

Why in hell ask for comments if you think your writing is so great it doesn't need them?

I'm sorry about that. I'll get back on the meds

 

[BlackShanglan]

Because for many writers, especially beginners, COMMENT, is a synonym for, COMPLIMENT.

Indeed. I'm often moved to wish that we had two buttons, one labelled "Tell Me What You Liked!" and the other "Critiques," or some such.

I suppose that it really wouldn't help that much, however. What some writers really want is something labelled "insightful and hard-nosed critique" that is, in fact, "what I liked and only what I liked."