Weight and BDSM

[IrishEyesMI]

I am just curious who allows themselves to see beyond people's weights or other physical issues in BDSM? At this time last year I was 375 lbs and nobody in the outside mundane world cast me a glance unless it was to say "Christ look at the size of that mutherfucker" or something similar. Online though people were always telling me one thing or another that i would make a good Dom or a good sub, blah blah... no one seemed to care about my size... save for me. However i have never had any problems with weight on anyone else.

Now, a year later, 105 lbs less at 270, people look at me left and right in the mundane world and in the BDSM community.....

I think so much of it is attitude. I have also lost a lot of weight (130 lbs in last 18 months, with still at least 50 to go). Now, obviously, I look better than I did before, and I get positive responses on that. However, I have noticed (and some of my coworkers have commented) that my mental state is also lighter now. I feel sexy, therefore I come off as sexy to others. I am nowhere near an ideal weight yet. The supplemental insurance people won't touch my application because I don't fit into their charts. But I get constant positive feedback that I am sexy and vibrant now. It's become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I'm not sure if the BSDM community is more accepting, although I find the attitudes I've come across in a lot of posts here very refreshing. I'm breaking out of my vanillaness and becoming more comfortable with my own wants and desires as I become more comfortable with my body. I think I'm more open to letting people find me interesting and sexy than I was previously. I still have days where I feel extremely fat and ugly, but I remind myself that total strangers are coming out of the Lit woodwork and actually in RL too to flirt with me and don't seem to be bothered by the pounds I have not yet lost.

I guess it boils down to this: believe in yourself and others will, too. Correspondingly, if others encourage/desire you, you will become even more confident and desireable, no matter what your size. Sorry for babbling so long, but really felt like sharing on this topic.