Wedding: Who Can Preform Where? (Writing Question)

[3113]

A couple wants to get married in a particular chapel, but not with the regular minister of that chapel. Can they bring in their own? Let me explain the issue:

I presume that if they're Catholic, the church won't mind them bringing in their own priest—so long as it is a priest. Likewise if they're Jewish the synagogue won't mind them bringing in their favorite rabbi so long as he is a rabbi. But what about other Christian denominations? Would a Methodist church insist that the minster be a Methodist?

My thought here is that one partner belongs this church and wants to be married there. But the other partner wants a particular pastor to marry them, and he isn't the minister of that church, nor of that denomination.

I know there are non-denomiational chapels that exist just for weddings and any faith can have them. But this isn't the case in this situation. The church is attended by the one partner and is of a particular, denomination and does have its minister. Would that church be as strict as a Catholic church about the officiating person being of that denomination, or would they be more relaxed and, so long as the person officiating is Christian, allow him to perform the wedding at their altar?

If the answer is, "It depends on the denomination..." then which ones would likely be flexible and which inflexible? Because, frankly, they all look alike to me

 

[PennLady]

A couple wants to get married in a particular chapel, but not with the regular minister of that chapel. Can they bring in their own? Let me explain the issue:

I presume that if they're Catholic, the church won't mind them bringing in their own priest—so long as it is a priest. Likewise if they're Jewish the synagogue won't mind them bringing in their favorite rabbi so long as he is a rabbi. But what about other Christian denominations? Would a Methodist church insist that the minster be a Methodist?

I'm not sure that's true, although it might be and should be easy enough to research. I had a Catholic ceremony (not a mass) at my parents' church, but went to the pre-Cana counseling in the state I lived in, and the priest was from my parents' church. Can't speak for synagogues.

Some denominations have sort of reciprocity agreements -- I forget the formal name -- where priests of one denomination could preach at the other. A friend of mine is Episcopalian and she said they have one of these agreements with the Lutheran church.

My thought here is that one partner belongs this church and wants to be married there. But the other partner wants a particular pastor to marry them, and he isn't the minister of that church, nor of that denomination.

The above situation might work for you then.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

This one area I have no knowledge. I try to stay away from religion as much as possible.

 

[glynndah]

I have been to several weddings with co-officals, ie, someone from the church does part of the ceremony and someone else, a family friend, relative, etc., does the rest.

 

[sr71plt]

The minister in a United Methodist church couldn't be usurped for officiating in a wedding/baptism ceremony (neither could the church organist, incidentally) in a church under her/his charge. That minister would either have to assist or he/she could willingly bow out if willing.

 

[unregistered]

 

[sr71plt]

TA Baptist minister . . . should expect a polite no (at best) from a Methodist board.

Not in the mainstream United Methodist church anymore, no. Maybe on the Baptist end of it.

 

[lovecraft68]

In the Bible God says "where ever two or more are gathered in my name there also shall I be"

Some how pretty much every organized religion is stating that you can only get married in their church, by their minister and for a fee.

Organized religion at its finest.

 

[sr71plt]

That's been breaking down for decades. A little late to be going mad hatter over it. Well, at least for most of us.

And it's not all that much a religious issue anyway. At least in the United Methodist churches, it's more an income thing. Both the minister(s) and the organists who have a specific charge have a revenue stream attached to ceremonies performed in their charge churches. For more than a half century, all you had to do to bring in your own was to pay the charge minister's and organist's fee too. It is part of their income.

 

[3113]

Thank you!

The above situation might work for you then.

I have been to several weddings with co-officals, ie, someone from the church does part of the ceremony and someone else, a family friend, relative, etc., does the rest.

Well, I wasn't after co-officials, but from what everyone's saying that's the only way it's likely to happen in an actual church.

The minister in a United Methodist church couldn't be usurped for officiating in a wedding/baptism ceremony (neither could the church organist, incidentally) in a church under her/his charge. That minister would either have to assist or he/she could willingly bow out if willing.

Even in the Protestant denominations, there is not reciprocity. A Baptist minister may not be allowed to perform a wedding in a Nazarene church and should expect a polite no (at best) from a Methodist board.

Thank you sr7 & Industrial. That was very informative. So. The answer, in short, is no. The church wouldn't let a minister from another denominations officiate, but might let them co-officiate.

I will alter my story accordingly

 

[49greg]

I was at a wedding once where the bride's father was a Lutheran Minister and the Groom was a Catholic boy.

They held the wedding in a country club - with the reception a few minutes later in the same large events room. Each Sky-Pilot did his own service. The Lutheran was second, but I think that was so he could also deliver a homily to his daughter about marriage dos and don'ts, without making the other Sky-Pilot wait too long.

 

[jehoram]

I recently went to a wedding that was held in a Quaker meeting house, but the wedding was officiated by a Presbyterian minister. Neither the bride nor groom was either religion, but they liked the look of the meeting house as a setting. No problems with anything. This was in Virginia.

You could probably get a better answer for your locality just by picking up the phone and making some calls. Simply ask if their church would be willing to make such an arrangment. Given that the churches usually get something out of it in the way of hall rentals or donations, I'd bet that they'd be amenable to hiring their church out for an afternoon to another minister.

 

[3113]

I recently went to a wedding that was held in a Quaker meeting house, but the wedding was officiated by a Presbyterian minister. Neither the bride nor groom was either religion, but they liked the look of the meeting house as a setting. No problems with anything. This was in Virginia.

I suspect Quakers are a little bit easier about that as they don't have spiritual leaders (ministers). Unitarian would also be okay about this. But I was looking at a more, um, conventional denomination with a specific minister in that faith usually hired to lead, rather than those that have more easy ideas about who the leader of services should be.