Wedding night

[flynena]

Hi


Im a 30 year year old virgin who will be getting married in two months. I am looking for any ideas in the bedroom that will blow my husbands mind.


Thanks to all

 

[cd1_christine]

Blow his mind, cock, load, whatever....

Hi


Im a 30 year year old virgin who will be getting married in two months. I am looking for any ideas in the bedroom that will blow my husbands mind.


Thanks to all

I don't know.....dynamite?

Seriously...you're a virgin, but for all we know, your future husband might have fucked 14 hookers in a single night with his football team in college.

We need to know what his experience is to really know what will blow his mind.


That being said, there's one thing that 98% of men love when it comes to sex: A woman who is obviously really into, and enjoying what they're doing.

I'm assuming he knows you're a virgin, so he's probably not expecting a stripper pole and trapeze. But even just a simple vanilla blowjob can be extremely hot, if the woman is obviously enjoying herself, and obviously wants to please her man.

It's not what you do that blows our minds. It's how you do it.


Suggestions:
1. Read up on the Internet for sex positions. Suggest a couple to him. It'll show him you're really interested in making your sex life great, even though you don't have a lot of experience.

2. Watch some oral sex tutorial videos. Especially if this is something you haven't done any/much of, either, you can pick up a few pointers so your first experience at this isn't ho-hum, but rather, holy shit.

3. Tell him some of your fantasies. Maybe while you're having sex, or while you're out having dinner some night. The first is hot because you're in the thick of things, the second because he can't do anything about it until you get back to the hotel. (Or, at least, into the alley behind the restaurant. )


The most important thing is to have fun, and don't be afraid to experiment. I think if you were to interview 100 men who weren't happy with their sex life, 98 of them would say they're not happy because their wife isn't adventurous enough, isn't open to try new things, or something of the like. Don't be that wife, and you'll be well above average.

 

[suggestivetongue]

Well... for your first time expect him to last less than a minute. I would guess a few seconds. That's average. After that's over with give him a couple hours for reload time.

I would suggest you just start with missionary position. You'll need to become familiar with each others bodies and that is both 1) The easiest place to start and 2) Equally pleasurable for each of you.

You can switch it up by going cowgirl (girl on top... the opposite of missionary).

Remember to buy lubrication before to have on hand. Condoms, unless you're not on BC. I'd suggest getting on BC though, since sex without a condom is much more pleasurable and since you're married I'm sure you know each others STD report (or lack thereof).

As far as enjoying sex, ask him what is pleasurable when he gets himself off. That will be useful for you to know. Tell him what gets you off when you get yourself off.

Also remember than most woman don't orgasm through penetration alone, so you'll probably need lots of clit stimulation if you want a chance at having an orgasm too.

Basically, since it will be your first time, lean heavily into the emotional aspects of the sex, as it will probably take you a while to make things exceptionally pleasurable.

 

[Llan2193]

People don't really have sex on their wedding night, the day is too exhausting!
But when you do finally have sex, remember it is suppose to be fun. Smile, laugh, and enjoy each other.

 

[NippleMuncher]

I am looking for any ideas in the bedroom that will blow my husbands mind.

See? You've already gone in the wrong direction ... (I'm kidding )

As previously posted, "big day" exhaustion will dampen any first night bliss. I will assume that your husband loves you and respects that you're a virgin, so from that standpoint, he's not going to pressure you into things too quickly and he's going to be thrilled with whatever you've got to offer.

You will need time to learn what works with each other, preferences, likes, dislikes, kinks, twists, quirks and furry handcuffs. Don't stress too much on "how", just pay attention to his reactions as you administer your delights. A great rule of thumb is that if you'd like something done to you, do it to him (gently), in the manner you'd like it done to yourself. For instance, if you really like nipple play, focus some attention on his. If you like body kissing/caressing, then show that to him in your attentions.

Things that you think a little too "naughty" should wait until you've had some vanilla, then followed up those sessions with honest conversations outside the bedroom concerning all things within the bedroom.


Remember, love making should always be fun. It takes time and effort to learn each others cues and develop trust, love, and techniques that work for you both.

 

[SweetErika]

People don't really have sex on their wedding night, the day is too exhausting!
But when you do finally have sex, remember it is suppose to be fun. Smile, laugh, and enjoy each other.

So true!

We did have sex, but it was pretty bad because we were so tired and totally ready for bed after a nice bath together and a couple of glasses of wine. We probably shouldn't have bothered at all; it's not like we couldn't live without the memory or wouldn't have a lifetime to have married sex. I can't really imagine adding the virgin angle to exhaustion with good results, but I guess some do.

Flynena, I agree with asking him what he would like and really enjoying yourself/being into whatever it is you do. He's going to know what he finds "mindblowing" or really wants to try, and as long as you're feeling good, into it and committed to communicating, it should be great. Even if it's not, you have the rest of your lives to blow each others minds and it's still fun to try.

As for specifics, have you checked out the ideas in this thread yet?

 

[PertPerth]

Firstly, congratulations, Flynena!
Secondly, while I'm not wanting to turn you off the idea of having sex on your wedding night, I have to be honest and say that I don't know any woman who didn't experience some pain/discomfort during sex for the first time. I have to agree with the others who suggested keeping it 'fun' - have a bubble bath, buy some sexy lingerie, perhaps give him a strip-tease? If you feel up to it, by all means have sex, but don't get too stressed about it. After all, getting married means that you have the rest of your lives for that!

Christines advice :
That being said, there's one thing that 98% of men love when it comes to sex: A woman who is obviously really into, and enjoying what they're doing.
In this case, I'd have to disagree. I'm assuming that her husband-to-be KNOWS that she's a virgin : chances are that he's turned on by that.

 

[structure]

Well... for your first time expect him to last less than a minute. I would guess a few seconds. That's average. After that's over with give him a couple hours for reload time.

A few seconds ??? a couple of hours to reload ??? Where did you get this info?

I truly hope you are exaggerating .....

 

[silverwhisper]

suggestiveetongue, you're assuming for no reason i can see that her husband's similarly a virgin. that's just silly. and multiple hour reload times are not the norm. please do not spread misinformation.



flyena: what cd1 christine said. it's hard to know what will blow his mind without understanding what your fiance's previous experiences have been, if any. if you could give us some ideas along those lines, you'll get considerably more helpful suggestions. it would be helpful if you knew what kind of porn/fantasies he's got.

ed

 

[infinity706]

A great rule of thumb is that if you'd like something done to you, do it to him (gently), in the manner you'd like it done to yourself.

Well, it works until you consider people like me and some other people on the site.

A few seconds ??? a couple of hours to reload ??? Where did you get this info?

I truly hope you are exaggerating .....

From what I've been told, it depends on age. Most guys don't take a couple hours for round 2, but apparently, it can by the time you hit your 80s and 90s. I have a feeling that it's also affected by whether or not you used your dick much in the years leading up to that point.

 

[cd1_christine]

Maybe didn't explain myself well.....

Christines advice :
That being said, there's one thing that 98% of men love when it comes to sex: A woman who is obviously really into, and enjoying what they're doing.
In this case, I'd have to disagree. I'm assuming that her husband-to-be KNOWS that she's a virgin : chances are that he's turned on by that.

Sure, he may be turned on by the fact that she's a virgin. I never said he wouldn't. But she shouldn't use that as an excuse to say "I can't do that! That's naughty!" Instead, she should be saying "I'm still a virgin at 30! I've got a lot of catching up to do with you!"

That's kind of what I was getting at. After all, even if he is turned on by the fact that she's a virgin, she's only going to be a virgin for him that one time. After that, I'm sure he'd rather hear "Yeah! Fuck me!" than "Ohhh...I'm scared. Will it hurt?" Yes, there can be some re-virgin roleplaying, which could be fun for some, but that's why I said 98%, not 100%. Besides, if you ask me, the re-virgin roleplaying would fall under new things to try, which I'm saying she should be open to.

 

[Eilan]

Are you a virgin as in completely sexually inexperienced, or are you one of those "technical virgins"?

Edited to add a hijack: Some folks are now going so far as to save the first kiss until marriage.

 

[biker_buddies]

Virgin

Bring your slutty girl friends for hands on training....a happy time will be had by all

 

[suggestivetongue]

suggestiveetongue, you're assuming for no reason i can see that her husband's similarly a virgin. that's just silly. and multiple hour reload times are not the norm. please do not spread misinformation.

Yeah it was an exaggeration. As far as statistics I believe the average first time for men is less than a minute. As far as reload time it varies between men, but for some it does take a couple of hours.

And yes you're right I assumed that her husband was a virgin as well, when he could very well not be. I just chose that angle to respond to as the OP didn't give that information in her post and it's common for both husband and wife to wait until marriage until sex unless one of them has already lost their virginity.

 

[silverwhisper]

suggestivetongue: sorry about my initial response to you, it was overly harsh and i apologize for my tone.

ed

 

[SweetErika]

Yeah it was an exaggeration. As far as statistics I believe the average first time for men is less than a minute. As far as reload time it varies between men, but for some it does take a couple of hours.

And yes you're right I assumed that her husband was a virgin as well, when he could very well not be. I just chose that angle to respond to as the OP didn't give that information in her post and it's common for both husband and wife to wait until marriage until sex unless one of them has already lost their virginity.

My husband will be 30 next month and his refractory period is still under 30 minutes (usually more like 15-20; it can be quicker, but the resulting sex isn't so enjoyable for him). I don't recall ever having a partner who couldn't go again in well under an hour. They've all been under 40, but I think it's very common for men in that age group to have a relatively short refractory period. The time can, and often does, increase with age (just like the prevalence of erectile dysfunction increases with age), but from what I've seen/heard in person and here, 2+ hours is likely more typical for men who are closer to or in their senior years. There's some evidence that 50 is an average turning point for a more marked increase in the refractory period, and men who are 70+ usually have a refractory period from hours to days (Source).

At any rate, subsequent orgasms are likely to be more enjoyable when one waits longer than the minimum time required to achieve another erection, so waiting an hour or two may be a good idea if the time and desire to go again are there.

 

[ReadyOne]

Standard strategy: Tell him you're going to get him off quick (maybe even before you get to the room!) so he will last longer. Then there's lots of time for foreplay and when you get to PIV he won't cum in 15 seconds. Tell him you know he's good for 3 or more times and he doesn't have to "save up" or ration himself.

There is some element of pressure on the guy. If things aren't going well, for example he cums too quick, or wilts, then slow way down, keep physical contact with him, reassure him, get his mind off his "short cumming", get him relaxed, and then pick up again.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Well, it works until you consider people like me and some other people on the site.

I will admit, I don't know you well, however, I do suspect that you wouldn't push the envelope of your partners limits too harshly or too far. Speaking from my own experience, a bit of gently play goes a long way to breaking down barriers. That's all I'm saying, push the limits - GENTLY! There should also be a healthy amount of intimate discussion outside of the bedroom.

 

[infinity706]

I will admit, I don't know you well, however, I do suspect that you wouldn't push the envelope of your partners limits too harshly or too far. Speaking from my own experience, a bit of gently play goes a long way to breaking down barriers. That's all I'm saying, push the limits - GENTLY! There should also be a healthy amount of intimate discussion outside of the bedroom.

So, what about hookups, though? It's hard to know someone's limits if you don't know that much about them at all. (yes, I do use condoms for hookups as well as more personal relationships)

 

[midlandsfun9999]

Wedding night sex can be very good. Wasn't a virgin but it was awesome. all 3 times. We just kept waking up unable to resist and it was amazing simple, close loving sex

 

[ZoeBird]

I would suggest you don't build this up too much in your head. You may be setting yourself up for disappointment. The first time you have sex will not be the best sex you ever have! You have a lifetime to build an amazing sex life together. It takes time, practice, patience and trust.

Congrats on your wedding.

 

[midlandsfun9999]

The first time you have sex will not be the best sex you ever have!

Well technically it will the best you've ever had, until the 2nd time at least.........