Okay, so I was bored at work today and I found an old list of ways to get flamed on usenet. I made a few modifications and voila!
- 1. Post a message asking how to post messages.
- 2. Post a compendium of old posts from a thread that died months ago with a title such as "** HAS MARXIST FORGOTTEN HIS LIES? **"
- 3. Correct every spelling mistake you encounter, but misspell the word "imbecile" in your follow-up flames.
- 4. Provoke insightful and productive debates on fresh new topics such as abortion, gun control, the existence of God, penile circumcision, and the relative superiority of WindowsXP or Mac OS.
- 5. Maintain a high-level of constructive decorum by addressing someone with whom you disagree as "monkey boy".
- 6. Inform other Lit members that they're "going straight to hell", and then proceed to follow-up with a variety of raunchy posts.
- 7. Post whining, misspelled, and vaguely creepy personal ads in wildly inappropriate threads, and follow-up to berate others for not responding.
- 8. Construct a device that lets your pets post to Lit by pawing or pecking a feeder bar.
- 9. Deride another member's av and then change yours to something similar.
- 10. Accuse female posters of being male.
- 11. Make an unregistered posting accusing others of cowardice.
- 12. Accuse a fellow Lit member of being a "newbie" because their three months are dwarfed by your own span of four.
- 13. Insist that anyone objecting to your compulsive fascination with consuming the flesh of strangled disabled minors is "judgmental".
- 14. If you've grown tired of typing, effectively end a thread by accusing others of being Nazis.
- 15. Claim to be an blonde, big-breasted high school cheerleader while posting under a name such as "Robert Bradley Smith, Jr."
- 16. Why use a single question mark or exclamation point then you can use at least thirty?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
- 17. And...while you're at it...use lots of...ellipses...
- 18. Insult a member from another nation based on his country's performance in World War II.
- 19. POST IN ALL CAPS
- 20. omit all punctuation
- 21. omitallspaces
- 22. DOALLTHREEOFTHEABOVE
- 23. Strive to ensure that no two consecutive words in your posts are correctly spelled.
- 24. Follow-up two dozen of another person's posts to accuse them of harassing you. Send copious e-mail and PM's if you're ignored.
- 25. Change your name to Yoyotwat, REDWAVER or Todd-O-Something.
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