Was this a racist comment?

[BlondGirl]

My son and I were driving and we passed a house that had lots of flag stuff and red, white, & blue decorations this afternoon. I made a comment about how that family must still be enjoying their 4th of July celebrations.

My son responded with, "Must be Mexicans who live there!"

I busted out laughing! (It does seem traditional among Mexican people to leave the Christmas lights up all year round. But never thought about other decorations.)

I pointed out to my son that he was Mexican and he better watch what he says. He said , "I am only HALF Mexican and that half does not leave up the decorations!" I reminded him that we still have some Christmas lights up in the kitchen that we never bothered to untangle from teh curtain rods.

He informed me that they were mine.

I thought it was pretty funny--but in retrospect, I am wondering if it was a racist thing for him to say or simply an observation of local tradition. And does his Mexican blood make it not matter?

 

[Siren]

Depends on if he was joking and laughing or

 

[BlondGirl]

Re: Depends on if he was joking and laughing or

he was making a serious comment.

and how old is he?

He is 9 and I sensed no hostility or derogatory attitude. Just seemed to be noticing something that would be as apparent as of they had a pinata or Mexican flag hanging on the house. It simply appeared Mexiacn to him and he responded to my decoration comment with that.

In our town, racism is horrible and I do my best to keep him from being exposed to it. (Good Lord, he gets exposed to enough of prejudices from me and his dad and from TV and the neighbors!)

He identifies very little to his Mexican half--he knows that people look at him and based on his skin color, he is Mexican. But other than that--he is a white boy through and through--and a Southern white boy at that. (It is really hard to raise one's child in an artificial atmosphere--I am a Southern white girl and it is impossible not to raise my son in my Southern white girl home.)

He does not seem to hold any grudges against Mexicans for anything but I do try to be aware and curb things when I become aware of a potential problem.

(When he was in preschool, he came home one day and announced that all black people were stupid. I asked him who told him that. His response, "De'Andre". I gently told him that if De'Andre and his family were stupid, that did not apply to all black people but simply his family. I then made extra efforts to spend time with our black friends to help discourage the racist myth he had learned at school. I also asked their help in dispelling such statements-It seems to have worked. I don't recognize any racist statements from him now. Perhaps I am oversensitive after dealing with the outright racism that is displayed here. Oh, and my color is one of the minorities here.)

 

[bluntforcemama]

Personally, if it's even on the edge of possibly being racist, don't even say it.

 

[Juspar Emvan]

Siren, I gotta say, bulshit. Nothing personal, but bulshit anyway. And I understand you may be talking from the point of view of a lawyer, but well, I'm not.

It was an observation. Why does every observation that uses a racial charatceristic as the definative grouping tool, have to be considered racism?

 

[Siren]

excuse me Juspar?

 

[lavender]

 

[Juspar Emvan]

Siren baby, it's not hostility at you, and I know it's not your thread.

'Bullshit' was aimed at your 'depends', comment. I'm a bit one eyed about racism, I know bigots are out there, but I think most of it is innocent and based on not entirely inaccurate stereotypes.

 

[HARDKOREBJ]

well

think before you say something that might hurt someones feelings.

 

[gleam]

According to my dictionary, racism is :

"an excessive and irrational belief in or advocacy of the superiority of a given group, people, or nation,usually one's own, on the basis of racial differences having no scientific validity"

So, no, unless your son was trying to make a statement about the inferiority of Mexicans, I don't think it was a racist statement.

As for biased, that depends on whether he was right in thinking that most Mexicans in your town leave their Christmas lights out. Do they? Do the white people in your town do the same thing?

If the answer to the first question is "yes" and the second question "no", then I wouldn't even call the statement biased. It was simply an observation of fact. This is really no big deal. It's like a Chinese person saying that white people all have big noses. In general, compared to them, we do.

I believe it was a prejudiced statement. It was definitely racially biased, but I'm not going to say it was necessarily racist. However, I would never utter these words out loud.

The reason these statements are dangerous is because they are not *mere* observations Juspar. This was a stereotype that was used to delegitimize the practices of some members of a racial minority. Her son used this statement about noticing one person doing something to categorize all Hispanics. (it's not Mexican, it's Hispanic...and it's a lot different than the African-American situation).

This mentality and these type of statements demonstrate bias and prejudice towards a singular racial group, and thus are racially motivated and can be racist.

 

[Juspar Emvan]

The reason these statements are dangerous is because they are not *mere* observations Juspar. This was a stereotype that was used to delegitimize the practices of some members of a racial minority. Her son used this statement about noticing one person doing something to categorize all Hispanics. (it's not Mexican, it's Hispanic...and it's a lot different than the African-American situation).

This mentality and these type of statements demonstrate bias and prejudice towards a singular racial group, and thus are racially motivated and can be racist.

Where was the bias? It was an observation - based on the known facts, people who leave out decorations are likely to fall into a particular catagory. That catagory happens to be defined by racial boundries. So? Where did he delegitimise the practice?

Look I'm really sorry to ayone who feels strongly in the opposite way to me on this, but the issue of racism in my experience (which is differnet to yours) is blown way out of proportion. Past injustices have made people oversensitive to anything they can possibly twist into a racially biased situation now. Not to mention a lot of minorities (and no I'm NOT being racist here) have taken advantage of the politically correct environment to swing for special treatment, not equality.

 

[Guest]

According to my dictionary, racism is :

"an excessive and irrational belief in or advocacy of the superiority of a given group, people, or nation,usually one's own, on the basis of racial differences having no scientific validity"

So, no, unless your son was trying to make a statement about the inferiority of Mexicans, I don't think it was a racist statement.

As for biased, that depends on whether he was right in thinking that most Mexicans in your town leave their Christmas lights out. Do they? Do the white people in your town do the same thing?

If the answer to the first question is "yes" and the second question "no", then I wouldn't even call the statement biased. It was simply an observation of fact. This is really no big deal. It's like a Chinese person saying that white people all have big noses. In general, compared to them, we do.

Wow, has a week gone by already?

OK, as to whether it's racist, I'm inclined to side with the people that said no. The statement wasn't made in an attempt to denote inferiority or reassert a position of superiority. On eof the inherent dangers of that word (racist) is that it has been so bastardized that it has lost much of its vitriol, trotted out at the slightest provocation, so that those instances where the intent truly is malevolent is relegated to the same lesser stature as those that are derived primarily from ignorance.

It was, however, prejudiced, as evidenced by the following pronouncement from our friend, Mr. Webster:

Main Entry: 1prej·u·dice
Pronunciation: 'pre-j&-d&s
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old French, from Latin praejudicium previous judgment, damage, from prae- + judicium judgment -- more at JUDICIAL
Date: 13th century
1 : injury or damage resulting from some judgment or action of another in disregard of one's rights; especially : detriment to one's legal rights or claims
2 a (1) : preconceived judgment or opinion (2) : an adverse opinion or leaning formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge b : an instance of such judgment or opinion c : an irrational attitude of hostility directed against an individual, a group, a race, or their supposed characteristics


Having said that, I do take issue with the following comment:

It was simply an observation of fact. This is really no big deal. It's like a Chinese person saying that white people all have big noses. In general, compared to them, we do.

An "observation of fact" nee a generalization of any type is prejudicial and, without proper guidance, can easily become a reason to exclude or subjegate, and that then becomes full blown racism.

At one time, it was an "observation of fact" that black men necessarily wanted to have sex with white women (be it concensual or by force), resulting in several communities' willingness to hang men at the turn of the century simply for being accused of such an act.

Now, before this gets crazy, I am not equating the two statements, and the example above is an extreme one. But the "fact" of the matter is, almost no observation about a class, sex, ethnic group, or regional affiliation is universal (except for maybe the French, but that's another thread), and I applaud BlondGirl for having the sensitivity to even question the comment.

And for the record, there are no get out of jail free cards for prejudicial statements; either they are, or they aren't.

I now return to the lewd and lascivious comments you all know and love...

 

[Gary1]

PC

The comments, in my opinion, were politcally incorrect. Just like white trash that live in trailer courts... what does that mean to all the retired folks that live in trailer communities. The incorrectness was the derogatory allegation. Just my opinion. Anybody seen my copy of "Songs of the South"???

 

[Bob Peale]

Hey! By The Way...

Wow, has a week gone by already?

yada, yada, yada...

These prattlings belonged to me...

My #%^&^%# connection took so long to send that I was logged out by the BB server.

 

[Weird Harold]

Re: Re: Depends on if he was joking and laughing or

He is 9 and I sensed no hostility or derogatory attitude. Just seemed to be noticing something that would be as apparent as of they had a pinata or Mexican flag hanging on the house.

Your son simply applied a stereotype to the situation. It was defintiely not a politically correct stereotype, probably a prejudicial stereotype but not a "racist" stereotype.

His further comments about the lights on the curtain rod being yours indicates that he understands that stereotypes are a good source of humor but not a way to define personal interactions.

You probably should talk to him about stereotyping, and how to avoid assuming things about individuals because of them.

His comment is no different than him telling you a dumb blonde joke. You can laugh at "dumb blondes" but if he treated you as if you're stupid because he likes dumb blonde jokes, you'd soon set him straight.

 

[BlondGirl]

Thank you to each of you for your input. We had family game night at church and I posed the question there. I was told by one person that what he was doing was "profiling".

I suppose he was.

And WH, I do agree with your assessment (along with others who felt this was not prejudiced or racist). It was simply an observation and a bit of humor. Being biracial, he pokes fun at the stereotypes sometimes. The last guy I dated was from Mexico and my son had not been exposed to the stereotypes that many Mexicans hold about white Americans. I believe he was suprized at the little hostilities that came out in conversations. (Things that I think were simply ignorance.)
My son is obviously of Non-White lineage and he is confronted with this at times. (White people never comment--unless they are foreigners. )

The comment took me by surprize. And the funniest thing about it, I would have thought it was the house of a white family. I don't think I have ever seen those half-circle flag things hanging off the house of any non-white person I ever knew. (Of course, it is a bit odd to decorate with those anyway--aren't they usually hung on businesses?)

As for the Christmas lights, yes, they are mine. I left them there. Christmas this year was bad and I had no Christmas spirit and we did not even bother to put up the tree. I put the lights up at Christmas and have left them for us to turn on when ever we want. I wonder if my son thinks I did this as a way of helping him identify with what is very obviously a common practice among Mexian families here. I think I will ask him. It is about bed time now. Time to snuggle and talk about all kinds of things.

 

[Markov Cain]

Not having read anything than the original post...

It is a shame that he cannot feel a member of a great continent.
How can the red, white, and blue be construed as Mexican?
How can a manana attitude be bad? If many more of us were laid back, then maybe there would be less of a need to pass laws to regulate our every thought and move.
He should be proud to be a member of America, just as I am proud to be an Indian-German-Irish-Quaker member of America.
I have a very good friend who looked at me in astonishment when I corrected my Chinese daughter in Spanish.
"Why are you teaching her Spanish," he challenged me?
"Because this is America," I replied.
"Yes," he replied with a wide warm smile and a new admiration.

Censorship in all its forms can be such a bad thing.

 

[Isolde]

Speaking as a mother, it simply sounds like an opportunity to have an open conversation with your son about people with 'differences'.

 

[Laurel]

Kids say the durnedest things!

 

[Cheyenne]

Speaking as a mother, it simply sounds like an opportunity to have an open conversation with your son about people with 'differences'.

I like this answer best!

It doesn't matter how you categorize the comment, just the fact that you question it means you probably need to talk to your son to make sure your son knows what you believe and what you don't.