Was it something I said?

[margo_x_x]

My name isn't really Margo_x_x. With the nastiness I like to spew, I don't want anyone to know who I am.

That said, I finally wrote something I was proud of. Why is doing so poorly?

I like the story so much that I'd like to go back and fix whatever is wrong with it. Any ideas?

It's a sci/fi, lesbian, bondage, action, romantic comedy called “A World of Trouble.”



http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=52232

 

[SexyChele]

Okay, yes, I read this. And I have to admit that by the end I was laughing so hard my stomach was hurting! I suppose if it is not doing well, it's because it really doesn't make for good "fist fodder". But that is their loss.

Sometimes the dialogue got me a little confused, but by the second page, it was just adding to the whole thing. I like this story because it sort of has that "campy" feeling to it.

I enjoyed it - but I do wonder who the "true" person is behind the persona!

 

[NCmVoyeur]

Fabulous

I had read your feedback to The_Satyr before reading your feedback request, so I was puzzled at your query about your own story. As I started to read, I had only two options early on: 1) either your 'feedback request' is as tongue-in-cheek as the story itself or 2) even bright people sometimes can't see the forest for the trees.

Reading further, I had to eliminate #2.

What sublime satire! "A World of Trouble" is the best piece I've read in a while here, and probably one of the better ever. I agree with Chele: it's uproariously funny and the vision is brilliant, but it's simply not the sort of story most readers come to Literotica seeking to find.

Great, great job.

 

[margo_x_x]

SexyChele's feedback

Hi, SexyChele

At first, I was pleased that you liked it, and happy that I hit the funny bones I was aiming at.

Then I clicked your link and read the first story listed.

Wow. You're a real writer, aren't you?

Getting compliments from the likes of you makes me feel like I'm playing with the big kids.

I'd thank you some more, but I've got seven more stories I have to read.

 

[margo_x_x]

NCmVoyeur

After checking SexyChele's writing, I decided to check the last one on your list.

I picked I-95 because I've traveled that road. I've never traveled the “stream of consciousness” road however.

That's a tough way to tell a story.

I popped up my Word program as soon as I finished, (after giving you a well deserved five, of course) and tried to do the same thing.

Despite your kind words, I clearly have to hone my skills before storming the bastions of the truly gifted storytellers.

I liked Literotica from the very beginning, but now I think I'm in love.

It's a good thing I didn't read you and SexyChele's writing when I first got here. The perfectly awful stories I read at the beginning gave me the confidence to submit a story of my own, and now you big guns are telling me to keep plugging.

I wish I could give the two of you some constructive criticism, but I'm suffering from a sever case of “Pollyanna-ism” at the moment.

 

[NCmVoyeur]

Try it, you might like it

I picked I-95 because I've traveled that road. I've never traveled the “stream of consciousness” road however.

That's a tough way to tell a story.

It was both tough and rewarding to write in that style. It was too experimental for me to attempt more than I did; so it's not a 'story' as such. It is a rather fascinating character study though--it is getting inside a character's psyche in a big way.

And welcome to Literotica. I hope you stay a while.

 

[SexyChele]

Re: SexyChele's feedback

Wow. You're a real writer, aren't you?

Getting compliments from the likes of you makes me feel like I'm playing with the big kids.

Me? A writer? Does this mean I've "made" it?

Thank you, Margo - though I have to admit I'm more than a little curious as to who is really behind the moniker!

 

[the_bragis]

Quirky, cute and sexy, but maybe just not what many people come to this site to read.

Don't worry about ratings, you got talent girl!

Alex(fem)

 

[margo_x_x]

Last word?

You're right. I pay entirely too much attention to the ratings.

I was hovering over a new story and got excited when it slowly edged up to 4.57, and then watched in horror as it dropped to 3.28 after only five more votes were recorded. Five people in a row must have given it 1's in the time it took me to hit refresh. It takes a lot of 5's to offset a single 1.

Did five people in a row hate it that much? Did one person detest it so much he voted five times?

I love to say that I don't base my sense of self worth on the opinions of others, but the sad fact is that I still like the gold star just as much as the satisfaction of a job well done.

It sounds pathetic, and if I saw the same admission by another, I'd be the first to admonish them. But if your boat has ever been floated by the kind words of another, then we've been pulling on the same oar. You can't be lifted by one without sinking with the other.

That said, I'll work to improve my writing and wait for the criticism that helps me do that. I'll also give back by sending constructive feedback on every story I read, even if I can't bring myself to vote on it.

 

[NCmVoyeur]

The secret's out

Did five people in a row hate it that much? Did one person detest it so much he voted five times?

You've hit upon the Deep Secret here: the voters who cast the anonymous 1's are those 'in the know,' and people like Chelle and me who praise writers' stories are actually only paid sycophants, designed to keep new authors submitting to Literotica. We're termed 'Mercenaries Obligingly Reviewing Objective Nothingness' (a.k.a., the "MORON's").

If you're still thinking that there's some critical commentary that will teach you how to ward off the 1-Bandits, good luck. You may wish to submit a story to KillerMuffin for inclusion in the Story Discussion Circle (she's apparently in need of stories at the moment). With the SDC you get a full week alone with your story being poked, praised, and picked apart.

 

[margo_x_x]

Thanks for the tip on KillerMuffin. I read a couple of her feedbacks and she sounds like the kind of tough cookie I need.

 

[Idle_Hands]

I rather liked it. I'm not sure the dialog-only parts worked all that well, but it pretty much held up.

I think your troubles with votes come from it's being pretty much free of hot sex. If you'd put it in "humor", it might have done better.

Don't sweat the votes. It's a silly game.

-ih

 

[MJs babe]

This was great!

This was a terrific story!

Being new to Lit, I'm not going about criticising (even though I welcome the criticism of my own submission), but I don't mind giving credit where credit is due - I enjoyed this story.

Ever read Harlan Ellison? This reminds me of his writing, which might explain why it tickled me just in the right spot.

Kudos.


Here's mine, if you're so inclined.

...point....

 

[Guest]

MJs babe

I’d like to thank you for your kind words, but I can’t.

They’re making me feel like a rat.

I clicked on your link, and realized that any feedback I gave you would be worthless. A male master lording it over female slaves is one of the few sexual predilections I despise. There are only six of us in the know universe with this problem, so don’t let it bother you.

Please let me know if you write something other than that so I can redeem myself.

Thanks for the nice things you said about my story.

Damn, I feel like a rat.

 

[margo_x_x]

In case you didn't know, that “unregistered” above is I. I cleaned out a couple million “Cookies” from my computer and suddenly became a stranger here. I haven't missed any of the other deleted cookies yet.

Idle_Hands

The all dialog has gotten a lot of bad press on that one. Confusion as to who's talking seems to bother people a lot more than I thought it would. The idea was to have the chatter slowly resolve itself as the characters personalities started to immerge, and let Jim fill in the blanks when it was his turn.

The story was a success on two counts, however. First, it was fast and fun to write, and more importantly, I'm using a lot more dialog in my stories now.

I think everyone should try an all dialog story so they can see how many things can be shown in a story, instead of told.

Read your Black Hole story, and have to agree, that's the only way to go.

I have an interesting tidbit, if you're interested. Time would lengthen for them as they fell into the black hole. From outside, they'd seem to zip in at a quickie pace, but on board the ship, they'd have to break out the oysters several times. On a sad note, they won't be popping out in another universe, at least, not in less than a couple million pieces. Tidal forces somewhere under the even horizon will take care of that “I'm not overweight, I'm just to short” problem.

Your point on the voting is well taken. I've been introduced to a small group know as the; “one bandits.” They seem to like dashing to the end of stories and clicking “ones,” without reading them. It's probably good that they spend so much time doing that. After all, think of all the puppies they haven't had time to kick while they're clicking “ones.”

 

[Idle_Hands]

I didn't have a problem with trying to figure out who was speaking. Not that I could always figure it out, but I didn't bother with that much. To me it seems like a decent experiment, but perhaps not completely successful, if you don't mind the citicism.

Re: black holes, and all: i'm somewhat aware of the science, but i'm also not concerned. that's not the point of the story. Most people complain that they don't know what's going on in that story. "who are they", "why is she following him", "do they die?"

So what. It's about the passion and the chaos.

-ih

 

[MJs babe]

Bother me? Nahhh.....

margo_x_x

That you don't care for the subject matter is, of course, completely acceptable.

No need to feel like a rat and no apologies needed.

I still really liked your story, regardless. Thanks for sneaking a peek at mine.

MJs babe