Warning to all literotica toy buyers!

[jayhardjay]

WARNING WARNING




Just had to let everyone know to beware if you plan to purchase anything from the literotica toy store. I made a purchase of over $150.00 on 2-18-07 andpaid for 2-day shipping! Obviously I have not received a thing. I have sent numerous e=mails, called cust. support 6 times and was given a # to a "Manager" that is invallid. I continue to be told aaaa it looks like they have received your order sir but because our warehouse is not in this building I can't awnser that ?. Here is my managers # again a number that is not valid. I also can say they have received my order because I HAVE BEEN BILLED.....that was 12 days ago on an order paid to have 2-day shipping.

 

[4degrees]

i got the things that i ordered from them, no problem.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Chinese New Year

I heard someone say that the Asian blow up woman you ordered it out of stock and will not be available until next month. There was a run on them over Chinese New Year.

Just kidding. Thanks for the warning. Good luck getting whatever you ordered for more than $150.

"Sir, your giant dildo is in the truck but it is too heavy for me to carry it in alone."

 

[Athena_e19]

Literotica has a difficult time with toy shipping because all of its warehouse employees are actually rampantly horny, bisexual, busty nymphomaniacs. Each order is individually handled by these crazed sluts, making it difficult for anything dealing with sex toys to arrive in time.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Please find my resume enclosed

Uhm, Athena, after you have so clearly describe the work environment, wotk ethic, and the typical employee of Literotica, I was just wondering how I could get a job with them? (lol)

 

[Athena_e19]

Apparently the job requirements are quite demanding.

Impossibly huge cup size, unending depths of sexual depravity, virginally tight vagina, and gorgeous ass. Or a three foot long penis. Either or.

Oh, and four years experience and fork lift operator's license.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Anal story

Okay, I'm not a big eater but I have lifted a fork to my mouth a few million times. Only, I did not know you needed a license for that.

...And I don't think that I would want another three foot penis. The one that I have now, that's tucked down in my sock, causes me to limp. If I had two of those, then I'd be walking like I just shit my pants.

"Hey, theres fodor for another anal story. Man with three foot cock only looks like he shit his pants and surprises her when she bends over in front of him."

 

[Athena_e19]

Hilarious!

If I were you, I'd just have a leg removed. Just be careful about getting erect. People might think you were a fascist walking around all the time with a leg kicking high in the air.