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Warning - Do not stick butter up your ass

Spit, olive oil, veggie oil, vasaline - just about anything but butter?!?!!?
 
I'm thinking this is where you should've gotten back to your roots and churned your own butter. :D
 
Stuponfucious said:
Saliva is not lube.

This myth is worse than the ass cancer one because a lot of people actually believe it.
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Stuponfucious said:
No. It's almost worse than butter, because you think it would work but then it dries up.

At least butter sucks the whole time so you know what to expect.
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Good to know. What about an oil based lotion? That seems kinda... like it wouldn't be good either.
 
I have a very tight ass. I need better then spit that's for sure.

One time a fool used lube that heats up with friction. I ended up face down in a tub with a hose stuck up my ass flushing with cold water and sobbing. The guys wife beat him with her loofah stick for messing up our night.
 
velvet_crush said:
Good to know. What about an oil based lotion? That seems kinda... like it wouldn't be good either.
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No lotions either. They may serve to lubricate but they can also have chemicals such as perfumes, dyes and other things that can be hrash on the funparts. Just good ol' KY and other products which are designed for such use.

Oh and vaseline is a no-no too. I don't know why people even to try use it. It makes things sticky and frictious, not slippery and slick.
 
Absolute_Kaos said:
I have a very tight ass. I need better then spit that's for sure.

One time a fool used lube that heats up with friction. I ended up face down in a tub with a hose stuck up my ass flushing with cold water and sobbing. The guys wife beat him with her loofah stick for messing up our night.
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Then I'm guessing figging would be out of the question.;)
 
Absolute_Kaos said:
I have a very tight ass. I need better then spit that's for sure.

One time a fool used lube that heats up with friction. I ended up face down in a tub with a hose stuck up my ass flushing with cold water and sobbing. The guys wife beat him with her loofah stick for messing up our night.
Click to expand...

That reminds me. By "good ol' KY" I mean the original formula, not that gimmicky warming gel shit they try to foist upon our orifices these days.
 
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bluntforcemama said:
And a corn cob. Don't forget the corn cob.
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I'm never eating buttered corn-on-the-cob again. Hope you're happy! :D

And somehow an ear of corn up the ole poopshoot is probably the only viable reason to put butter up your butt anyway.

If you are into that.;)
 
Stuponfucious said:
That reminds me. By "good ol' KY" I mean the original formula, not that gimmicky warming gel shit they try to foist upon or orifices these days.
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I like astroglide better. It has a similiar feel like my precum and it don't absorb into the skin as fast.
 
Stuponfucious said:
That reminds me. By "good ol' KY" I mean the original formula, not that gimmicky warming gel shit they try to foist upon or orifices these days.
Click to expand...

pshaw - I've used spit for years. May not be the best thing - but it works in a pinch. Vasaline is not good - but again - it would be better than butter in a pinch.

Oh - and I LOVE the warming gel stuff. Just ads an extra 'zing'!
 
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