Warning: Dangerous Thread

[Morduin]

The Medical Love song by Monty Python

I wish I knew all the words....it is hilarous.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

The Medical Love song by Monty Python
I wish I knew all the words....it is hilarous.

Granted!




Medical Love Song
Monty Python

Inflammation of the foreskin
Reminds me of your smile.
I've had ballanital chancroids
For quite a little while.

I gave my heart to NSU
That lovely night in June.
I ache for you, my darling,
And I hope you get well soon.

My penile warts, your herpes,
My syphilitic sores.
Your moenelial infection,
How I miss you more and more.

Your dobie's itch, my scrumpox,
Our lovely gonnorrhea,
At least we both were lying,
When we said that we were clear.

Our syphilitic kisses,
Sealed the secret of our tryst.
You gave me scrotal pustules,
With a quick flick of your wrist.

Your trichovaginitis
Sent shivers down my spine;
I got snail tracks in my anus
When your spirochetes met mine.

Gonoccocal urethritis, streptococcal
ballinitis, meningo myelitis,
diplococcal cephalitis, epididimitis,
interstitial keratitis, syphilitic
choroiditis, and antertior u-ve-i-tis.

My clapped out genitalia
Is not so bad for me,
As the complete and utter failure
Every time I try to pee.

My doctor says my buboes
Are the worst he's ever seen,
My scrotum's painted orange
And my balls are turning green.

My heart is very tender
Though my parts are awful raw,
You might have been infected
But you never were a bore.

I'm dying of your love, my love
I'm your spirochaetal clown,
I've left my body to science
But I'm afraid they've turned it down.

Gonoccocal urethritis, streptococcal
ballinitis, meningo myelitis,
diplococcal cephalitis, epididimitis,
interstitial keratitis, syphilitic
choroiditis, and antertior u-ve-i-tis.





Edited to add: We have come a long way from Cole Porter's, “The Physician.” (Earlier post.)

 

[Guest]

martin sexton

do you know of him? not alot of people seem to, but hes soulful.. very talented... he seems to love irony..
so hes rolling around my head this am.. not anxious to get rid of it yet...

Does Satan wear a suit and tie
Or does he work at the Dairy Queen
Does he listen to rock and roll
Does he feed the mean
Singing Hallelujah

What about Jesus
Didn't he do it too?
Hang out with prostitutes
And have a drink or two.
Power of example
My mama said it and I heard
She says one ounce of action
Beats a ton of words.

Singing Hallelujah.
Mama said there would be angels
Mama said there would be sun

Is the devil in Elvis to go where no white man went
Or hiding in Hugh Hefner's body or maybe even Larry Flynt.
Say, hows about the President shielding all them stones
Man if I could find a shield like that I'd run 'round naked
in my glass home.

Sippin' Hallelujah
I think my angel's gone to Vegas
Sippin' Hallelujah
Holding aces in her hand. Hallelujah
As she's singing rock of ages. Hallelujah
On the table at the Sands. Hallelujah

Does Satan wear a suit and tie or
Does he work at the Dairy Queen.
Does he listen to rock and roll
Does he feed the mean
Streak in all of us.
All us saints here on earth
Hypnotized and over-advertised
'Til we're numb at birth

Singing Hallelujah
And my angel's turning pages
Singing Hallelujah
And she just don't understand. Hallelujah
That the devil's hot on her trail. Hallelujah
On the road to broken promised land. Hallelujah
On the TV and the radio. Hallelujah
Good and evil look the same to you

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Inside my head...

Currently have the song "I need a hero" running around in my head.

BUT I ONLY KNOW 2 LINES! AAAGGGHHH!!!

(I saw Shrek 2 this weekend and that song is in it for those of you who don't know)

 

[Marsipanne]

Beethoven's 9th symphony, 4th movement. Fantastic piece of music, but far too catchy! It doesn't even have words.. well, it does, but they're in German. I can speak German (sorta) but not THAT well.

 

[oggbashan]

Beethoven's 9th symphony, 4th movement. Fantastic piece of music, but far too catchy! It doesn't even have words.. well, it does, but they're in German. I can speak German (sorta) but not THAT well.

It is the European Union's anthem. You might get to hear it too much in the next few days.

Og

 

[bg23]

Who's heard the song for the sultana bran ad?

Ooh, it looks like mama's lost the plot
what's this cereal she's gone and got?
You know its pretty yummy, am I right?
Now we want it day and night

Ooh, its sultanas from the grapevine
They make sultana bran taste so fine
Ooh its sultanas from the grapevine...

Yes, I've heard it so many times I've memorised it.

 

[minsue]

Who's heard the song for the sultana bran ad?

Ooh, it looks like mama's lost the plot
what's this cereal she's gone and got?
You know its pretty yummy, am I right?
Now we want it day and night

Ooh, its sultanas from the grapevine
They make sultana bran taste so fine
Ooh its sultanas from the grapevine...

Yes, I've heard it so many times I've memorised it.

Damn! Here I was feeling all smug because I don't know that jingle and I felt lucky because having jingles stuck in your head is the worst. This of course led to the mental leap of thinking about jingles that get stuck in my head easily and now I'm listening to my brain sing:

Indoor swapmart for your poster art
A [?], [?], and cards.
A telephone, a radio
swapmart's the cool place to go
A pair of pants, a pair of shoes
All the luggage you can use

It just goes on and on and on and on from there.....

Damn you!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Guest]

Who's heard the song for the sultana bran ad?

Ooh, it looks like mama's lost the plot
what's this cereal she's gone and got?
You know its pretty yummy, am I right?
Now we want it day and night

Ooh, its sultanas from the grapevine
They make sultana bran taste so fine
Ooh its sultanas from the grapevine...

Yes, I've heard it so many times I've memorised it.

roflmao.. ads can be the worst.. how about
Trojen man...
pretty sad when the kids walk around singing that.. LOL

 

[oggbashan]

Advertising Jingles

Way back when...

Advertising came to UK TV (1955 I think) there were singing adverts.

"The Esso sign means happy motoring,
The Esso sign means happy motoring,
So stop at the Esso sign..."

"Murraymints, Murraymints, the too-good-to-hurry mints..."

and the Bisto song.

Before that there were The Ovaltinees on Radio Luxembourg.

Yeucck! I can still sing the tunes.

Og

 

[Guest]

Re: Advertising Jingles

Way back when...

Advertising came to UK TV (1955 I think) there were singing adverts.

"The Esso sign means happy motoring,
The Esso sign means happy motoring,
So stop at the Esso sign..."

"Murraymints, Murraymints, the too-good-to-hurry mints..."

and the Bisto song.

Before that there were The Ovaltinees on Radio Luxembourg.

Yeucck! I can still sing the tunes.

Og

Cheers for that, mate!

Lou

 

[Guest]

Been stuck singing "After Dark" by Tito & Tarantula all day.

 

[sweetnpetite]

ANYTHING by the Backstreat Boys.

Especially, what was that one they sang with Alabama a few years back? (I was so disappointed in Alabama)

I....am....not....a....teanybopper....I...will...resist...the....backstreat...boys!


Oh yea, and 'Mmm bob' or 'don't worry be happy' or 'the macarena' or 'Achy Breaky Heart'

I used to work at burger king and I always thought the BSB should do a comercial for them. "I want it MY WAY!" (ie, have it your way vs. I want it that way)

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Currently have the song "I need a hero" running around in my head.

BUT I ONLY KNOW 2 LINES! AAAGGGHHH!!!

(I saw Shrek 2 this weekend and that song is in it for those of you who don't know)

I haven't seen Shrek 2 yet, but did you mean “Holding Out For A Hero” the Bonnie Tyler song that was included in the movie "Footloose"?




Holding Out For A Hero

Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and turn and dream
of what I need


Chorus

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life



Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder end rising with the heat
It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet


Up where the mountains meet the heavens above
Out where the lightning splits the sea
I would swear that there's someone somewhere
Watching me


Through the wind end the chill and the rain
And the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach
Like the fire in my blood






I certainly HOPE that was what you meant, because you got me started, singing “Footloose,” the song by Kenny Loggins from the same flick.



Footloose

Been working so hard
I'm punching my card
Eight hours, for what
Oh, tell me what I got
I've done this feeling
That time's just holding me down
I'll hit the ceiling
Or else I'll tear up this town
Now I gotta cut

Loose, footloose
Kick off your Sunday shoes
Please, Louise
Pull me offa my knees
Jack, get back
C'mon before we crack
Lose your blues
Everybody cut footloose
You're playing so cool
Obeying every rule
Dig way down in your heart
You're yearning, yearning for some
Somebody to tell you
That life ain't passing you by
I'm trying to tell you
It will if you don't even try
You can fly if you'd only cut

Loose, footloose
Kick off your Sunday shoes
Oowhee, Marie
Shake it, shake it for me
Whoa, Milo
C'mon, c'mon let's go
Lose your blues
Everybody cut footloose
We got to turn you around
You put your feet on the ground
Now take a hold of your ball
I'm turning it


Repeat, over and over and over and ......

 

[cheerful_deviant]

I haven't seen Shrek 2 yet, but did you mean “Holding Out For A Hero” the Bonnie Tyler song that was included in the movie "Footloose"?




Holding Out For A Hero

Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and turn and dream
of what I need

I certainly HOPE that was what you meant, because you got me started, singing “Footloose,” the song by Kenny Loggins from the same flick.


Footloose

Been working so hard
I'm punching my card
Eight hours, for what
Oh, tell me what I got
I've done this feeling
That time's just holding me down
I'll hit the ceiling
Or else I'll tear up this town
Now I gotta cut

Loose, footloose
Kick off your Sunday shoes
Please, Louise
Pull me offa my knees
Jack, get back
C'mon before we crack
Lose your blues
Everybody cut footloose
You're playing so cool
Obeying every rule
Dig way down in your heart
You're yearning, yearning for some
Somebody to tell you
That life ain't passing you by
I'm trying to tell you
It will if you don't even try
You can fly if you'd only cut

Loose, footloose
Kick off your Sunday shoes
Oowhee, Marie
Shake it, shake it for me
Whoa, Milo
C'mon, c'mon let's go
Lose your blues
Everybody cut footloose
We got to turn you around
You put your feet on the ground
Now take a hold of your ball
I'm turning it

Repeat, over and over and over and ......

Sorry beautiful. But thank you! At least now I can sing the whole song! (Much to the discomfort of my coworkers.)

I may have to go buy the CD on my way home form work now.

Thanks,

CD

 

[Guest]

aaarrrgggg

CD..that is one of the worst songs ever.. if i go insane because i cant get it out of my head.. i will hold you personally responcible.
youre only out is because you did have a disclaimer in the thread title.

bonnie tyler .. drawn and quartered.. ack.
equiv. to villiage people, boy george and cindy lauper on the annoyance totem pole.

 

[neonlyte]

You won't believe this:

"Glitter Boots Saved my Life" from the musical Saucy Jack and the Space Vixens, I saw the first amateur production staged last week in the UK.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Re: aaarrrgggg

CD..that is one of the worst songs ever.. if i go insane because i cant get it out of my head.. i will hold you personally responcible.
youre only out is because you did have a disclaimer in the thread title.

bonnie tyler .. drawn and quartered.. ack.
equiv. to villiage people, boy george and cindy lauper on the annoyance totem pole.

You don't know? THe best way to get a song out of your head is to play it over and over until you want to become physically violent with the CD player.

But it's worse today... "These boots are made for walkin', and walkin's what the'll do, and one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you...bumpa a dump... bumpa a dump...

 

[minsue]

This has been stuck since I posted it on another thread last night. Maybe if I post it in enough places it'll get sick of me and leave.

Ball & Chain
- Social Distortion

Well it's been ten years, and a thousand tears
And look at the mess I'm in
A broken nose and a broken heart,
An empty bottle of gin
Well I sit and I pray
In my broken down Chevrolet
While I'm singin' to myself
There's got to be another way

Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain
I'm lonely and I'm tired
And I can't take any more pain

Take away, take away
Never to return again
Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain

Well I've searched and I've searched
To find the perfect life
A brand new car and a brand new suit
I even got me a little wife
But wherever I have gone
I was sure to find myself there
You can run all your life
But not go anywhere

Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain
I'm lonely and I'm tired
And I can't take any more pain

Take away, take away
Never to return again
Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain

Well I'll pass the bar on the way
To my dingy hotel room
I spent all my money
Been drinkin' since a half past noon
I'll wake there in the mornin'
Or maybe in the county jail
Times are hard getting harder
I'm born to lose and destined to fail

Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain
I'm lonely and I'm tired
And I can't take any more pain

Take away, take away
Never to return again
Take away, take away

Take away this ball and chain

 

[redfunguy]

ahhh yes the song of the day...

incase you dont know the words to your "song of the day"
http://www.lyrics.com/


i have my own little DJ in my head playing a song from different times at the top of every hour


"...its on the good side of 5 o'clock this afternoon...lets start it off with a little Prince - Darling Nicki"

Lyrics to Darling Nicki
(you can see why i sing it all the time)

I knew a girl named nikki
I guess u could say she was a sex fiend
I met her in a hotel lobby
Masturbating with a magazine
She said how’d u like 2 waste some time
And I could not resist when I saw little nikki grind

She took me 2 her castle
And I just couldn’t believe my eyes
She had so many devices
Everything that money could buy
She said sign your name on the dotted line
The lights went out
And nikki started 2 grind

Nikki

The castle started spinning
Or maybe it was my brain
I can’t tell u what she did 2 me
But my body will never be the same
Her lovin’ will kick your behind
Oh, she’ll show u no mercy
But she’ll sho’nuff sho’nuff show u how 2 grind

Darlin’ nikki

Woke up the next morning
Nikki wasn’t there
I looked all over and all I found
Was a phone unmber on the stairs
It said thank u 4 a funky time
Call me up whenever u want 2 grind

Oh, nikki, ohhhh

Come back nikki, come back
Your dirty little prince
Wanna grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind

 

[Guest]

tommy tutone

8675309...i got it.. i got your number on the wall.. sumphin.. god.. no..
*nostrils flared in indignation.*

they should be burned at the stake!

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Hey Mickie!!!!

 

[Guest]

Hey Mickie!!!!

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooo!

 

[ABSTRUSE]

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Muwhahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!
the seed has been planted.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Muwhahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!
the seed has been planted.

You can be truly evil at times. Has anyone told you that before?