WANTED: Cook, Laundress, Nanny, Nurse, Maid & Girl Friday

[Rubyfruit]

The candidate for this position must be able to fill all roles mentioned above. I can only afford to pay for one person, even though he/she will be working around the clock, 7 days a week.

Please know how to separate your whites from your colors and be prepared to do approximately 700 loads of laundry a day, while attending to the every whim of 2 year old twins and a 5 year old.

At the end of the day, I will expect a delicious and nutritious meal that you will, of course, shop for, prepare, cook and clean up after.

I want the house picked up at all times. Yes, I know the kids scatter their toys from attic to basement, but it's all in a day's work around here.

In return, I offer low (no) pay, an unappreciative husband and little heathens who will throw toys at your face when you tell them no.

Any takers?

 

[lillend]

I've already got a job just like that....my only payment is an occasional " I love you mom"....that usually means they want something

 

[LadyDarkFire]

I think you might want the Personals section. I can offer you advice and recipes, but as for actually doing the work . . . *looks around her house* No thanks, got enough of that to do around here. I even get comments on if they don't like the dinner for Christmas Bonus.

 

[Debbie]

Are one of the perks of the job ogling you?
BTW if you do find someone who can fill this job description can you find out if they have a twin?
I have to go mow the lawn right now and it is very hot out there already!

 

[Mischka]

Please know how to separate your whites from your colors and be prepared to do approximately 700 loads of laundry a day, while attending to the every whim of 2 year old twins and a 5 year old.

Do you have a single laundry hamper, or do you pre-separate the clothes? Several years ago, I bought one of those PVC pipe laundry separators from the Container Store, (Target, WalMart, etc. now carry them as well). The frame is made of PVC pipe, and mesh bags are attached to the frame with these snap-on clips. I have four bags on mine - white for the whites, green for the delicates, navy for the darks, and a striped cotton bag for the dry cleaning.

Many of my friends with kids have adopted this method for their laundry needs. The kids consider it a game to put the clothes in the right bag, and it eliminates the dull and time consuming task of pre-sorting the laundry. Each mesh bag is the size of a load of laundry, so it's easy to spot when it's time to put on another load.

Until you find your own personal Martha Stewart, I thought this may help.

 

[Rubyfruit]

lillend, I have to admit that the "I love you's" melt my heart and make it all worth it. Of course, mine aren't old enough to know how to use that term to get something - YET.

LadyDarkFire, I might take you up on the recipes offer soon. I've been completely unimaginative in the kitchen lately.

debbiexxx, I was hoping I would be the one doing the ogling.

Mischka, thanks for the advice. I actually used to use that method until recently, when I lost the bags in the move. Sorting is a drag. Right now, I'd be happy if anybody even put their fucking dirty clothes in the hamper instead of on the floor. I literally have to go from room to room, upstairs and down, picking dirty clothes off the floor now.

 

[LadyDarkFire]

Just let me know how much time you have, and what you want to put in the dish and I can generally get you a recipe that will work. (This is a result of 6 generations on one side, and 4 on the other all giving me their cookbooks.) I'm also great with a phone and a takeout menu.