Want To Get "Caught in School" by Queen_of_Dairy?

[tigerjen]

Wow....found this new poem by Queen_of_Dairy called
"Caught in School"..........very naughty and hot and
taboo, but oh so darn good! Check it out!

link:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=28191

TJ

 

[yak150]

That was actually pretty cool. I liked it!

 

[tigerjen]

pass the word!

That was actually pretty cool. I liked it!

Hi Yak150!

I don't know if the author of the poem checks up on the
boards but I recommend going back to her poem
and sending her feedback if you desire that way

It was cool poem I might add

TJ

 

[Guest]

read her profile. she is bisexual but bashes gay men for there sex practices

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Uh, okay, I'm at a loss here. ..

I read it. It was fine. Something I could have written............in seventh grade.

There was no prose, consistent meter, nuance or charm. Okay so it rhymed -- almost -- so I suppose you can call it a poem.

It's not terrible, but it is kind of just there. A few uninspired stanzas. The writing is pedestrian at best.

So I'm not getting the whole "Oh my God this is so cool!" thing. I think you've WAY overrated a terribly modest effort.

(Read anything by Endlessly to see why I'm placing this in the *shrug* section.)

 

[Whispersecret]

Gotta agree with Dixon. The vocabulary isn't very inspiring. I'm not very impressed. Sorta had to make myself read the whole thing. I'm not an expert on poetry, but if you start a poem in one type of rhythm, I kind of like that same rhythm to continue throughout. This one changed midstream.

He made a smartass com(m)ent (da DA da DA da DA da)
to his teacher who's a mom (da da DA da DA da DA.)
But she was feeling horny (da DA da DA da DA da)
So she gave him some (da da DA da DA.)

So there's the established rhythm. I'm not enough of an expert on poetic meter to be able to identify this pattern, but it's there in my brain. So when the next stanza changes it on me, I get annoyed.

She pushed his head to her chest (da DA da DA da da DA)
And he sucked her tits (da da DA da da DA)
He sat on a chair (da da da da DA)
And she rode his dick (da da da da DA)

No matter how hard I try, I can't get those last two lines to adhere to the da DA da DA rhythm. Damn.

What did you find so cool about this poem? Was it the original premise of the application of sunscreen leading to sex?

 

[Whispersecret]

Yeah, that was me (above) probably being over-direct. I did make an effort to be gentle. Truly.