Vulnerable, please help

I don't see how he's the bad guy in all this.. It seems to be going both ways
There was a Craigs List ad for a friend.
After six visits, there was some unclear/possible agreement about sex..

Why would you even mention that you're hanging out with other guys unless it's to make him jealous? Where did these guys come from if you chose to post an ad to find a companion in the first place? If you're setting him up for jealous.. that's what you're going to get. Would you have been mad if he wasn't jealous?
Stop talking about other guys. Kill the need to answer his call on the first ring every time.

He's already told you that he doesn't want more than friendship. You've listed that you're impression is that he wants you around all the time.. but then you've also said that he stopped wanting that when you began telling him that things were getting more serious for you.

The two of you either weren't clear about what you wanted or one of you changed the game. I don't see that either of you did anything wrong. It's certainly not uncommon after a couple of months to decide that you're not that perfect for each other. Two months is a pretty fair trial. It sounds like neither of you knows how to call it quits. My only real advice is.. call it quits. He's told you in no uncertain terms that he's open for friendship/benefits only.
 
that's not his type at all, if anything - it's more mine----not that i'm stalking him or anything. I'm just a very co-dependent person..he is not.

Co-dependency is not a bad thing. In fact, if men and women weren't co-dependent by nature, there would be no human race. With that said though, you can carry co-dependency too far. Giving love is easy, (and natural), but maybe you need to not give your love so quickly, at least until you are more sure of the other person. Just because you feel love for someone, doesn't mean you can make them into what you want them to be. No matter how much you may want this guy to love you, he is a person in his own right, and being so, will do what he sees best for himself. Take a step back and look at the reality of your situation. I suspect you already know the answer you seek, you just don't want to face it.
 
I don't see how he's the bad guy in all this.. It seems to be going both ways
There was a Craigs List ad for a friend.
After six visits, there was some unclear/possible agreement about sex..
You're right - it is both ways. I'm not trying to paint him as the bad guy, here. He's not. He's wonderful in every way. He's told me from the very beginning that all he wanted was just friends and i couldn't help but fall for him.


Why would you even mention that you're hanging out with other guys unless it's to make him jealous? Where did these guys come from if you chose to post an ad to find a companion in the first place? If you're setting him up for jealous.. that's what you're going to get. Would you have been mad if he wasn't jealous
Stop talking about other guys. Kill the need to answer his call on the first ring every time.
He's known about this 'other guy' since we met. This other guy lives hours away, i've known him for 11 years and we've never been anything but friends nor will we ever. But with me being constantly busy with this guy, i've not had the time to hang out with the other guy. When i got asked to hang out with other guy, who is going thru a terrible divorce and is just wanting his friends around - he showed jealousy.

He's already told you that he doesn't want more than friendship. You've listed that you're impression is that he wants you around all the time.. but then you've also said that he stopped wanting that when you began telling him that things were getting more serious for you.

No he didn't stop wanting me around - he backed off on talking to me during the day. He doesn't call in the am or lunch now, but still calls as soon as he's off work and before bed. I went for dinner there on wed, he wanted me to go over there on thurs and again tonight. I didn't.


The two of you either weren't clear about what you wanted or one of you changed the game. I don't see that either of you did anything wrong. It's certainly not uncommon after a couple of months to decide that you're not that perfect for each other. Two months is a pretty fair trial. It sounds like neither of you knows how to call it quits. My only real advice is.. call it quits. He's told you in no uncertain terms that he's open for friendship/benefits only.

I am the one that changed the game. I wanted more than what we had originally agreed on. But how is a girl not going to fall in love with a guy that constantly compliments, constantly encourages, talks to all the time about random every thing. Talks about me like i'm a golden egg, who introduces me to his friends and family and even in front of them constantly compliments me. Talks about me, when i'm not around, about how great i am. <They've told me, not him... I couldn't help it. I've never had someone treat me so highly. I love the man and god dammit i want him to love me, too...
 
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