Vulnerable outfit

[sara_l]

Hi

I am not very experienced in unusual sexual things.
But I realized that it turns me on to be dressed in a revealing outfit especially if it is out of my control and I feel vulnerable and helpless.

My experience of realization was a little while ago.
Due to a misunderstanding I ended up wearing a thin cardigan with a single tie at the top. I had to go to a good-bye party at a bar but had to work late and my friends picked me up - and after a misunderstanding and an awkward conversation I had the choice between my lab-outfit and the cardigan with nothing underneath. That was a little more daring than I was comfortable with. I felt naked, exposed and vulnerable and that turned me really on.
The concerned looks and comments of my co-workers (mainly women) made the feeling even stronger.

I had worn sexy outfits before but that night was really an accident but I have been fantasizing about it since. I felt not in control at all, I felt vulnerable and I liked it.

I would like to explore this more and would like some feedback / sounding board.
I am afraid to talk to my friends.
In fact part of the turn on is to do something I shouldn’t.
Do you have experience (advice) in acting on such a fantasy.

I am not into bondage or pain.
I was adviced to try it here anyway.
Maybe this is the wrong forum please tell me if you can think of a better place?

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Hi Sara

Here is the BDSM Library info on humiliation play.

Here's a thread on verbal humiliation and one on humiliation ideas that are quite interesting reading.

Do you think you're submissive or just that you enjoy the attention that dressing in skimpy clothes gets you? If vulnerability turns you on, it's possible that you would enjoy being dominated by a partner.

 

[Longlongfellow]

Wow that situation certainly rang a bell with me Sara.
I know I havn't been on here long (well this is my second post), but I felt I had to say something.
I can see the (mild) domination side in that your 'master' would require you to wear an outfit, but would also be your protection, also whatever they said would go and you wouldn't have control over that.
I did come across a similar thing on the flip side of the coin for men, they called it CFNM (Clothed Female Naked Male) where the woman has the control in the situations.
Don't know if CFNM is a recognised fetish or just an abreviation someone came up with.
Can anyone tell me?

You might have a humiliation convert already lol

Sara whatever you settle on I hope you have fun out there

 

[SinfulSailor]

I realized that it turns me on to be dressed in a revealing outfit especially if it is out of my control and I feel vulnerable and helpless.

This is where dominance and submission come into the mix. Anyone can choose to go out just wearing the sweater. To many of us it is the "forcing" and "being forced" to do so that makes it that over-the-top, heady, body-rushing experience.

 

[subbie_333]

I did come across a similar thing on the flip side of the coin for men, they called it CFNM (Clothed Female Naked Male) where the woman has the control in the situations.
Don't know if CFNM is a recognised fetish or just an abreviation someone came up with.
Can anyone tell me?

It is a recognized fetish. It is more rooted in female supremacy than it is to D/s or BDSM humilation.

 

[Netzach]

It could be that she wants to be "made" to do it, it could be that she's a real honest to god exhibitionist in her own right *toasts*

 

[sara_l]

Thank you for your answers.
I guess it is some combination of exhibitionism and lack of control.
But the lack of control part is definitely in there for me.

I am at a point in my life were I don't want to be involved with someone. So I'll have to explore this on my own for the time being.

Grateful for any advice.
Again Thanks

 

[VelvetDarkness]

It might be safer for you to do something less overt that you have control over and can be more selective about. Master once took me out with his cum rubbed into my tits and the word 'slut' written on the curve of one breast. It wasn't obvious but if someone was stood right beside me and looked at the neckline of the top I was wearing, they would be able to see the word 'slut' in marker pen through the sheer fabric. Of course, I felt safe because he was with me. I also had a cardigan with me in case I became too uncomfortable or caused offence but I didn't wear it.

 

[SinfulSailor]

Thank you for your answers.
I guess it is some combination of exhibitionism and lack of control.
But the lack of control part is definitely in there for me.

I am at a point in my life were I don't want to be involved with someone. So I'll have to explore this on my own for the time being.

Grateful for any advice.
Again Thanks

Not being negative here.... just noticing.... I find it hard to conceptualize how someone would explore lack of control on their own. Seems like a team sport to me.

You might want to just concentrate on the exhibitionism part. Or put the whole thing on the back burner until your personal situation evolves into a place where a relationship is more something you want in your life.

Not trying to give advice. Just noting some logical observations and possible courses of action.

 

[twistedtraveler]

vulnerable outfit

It seems that maybe you liked to be forced(?) to wear the cardigan. I bet we missed a good show--don't feel like you should be embarrassed, you were born with what you have, so make the best of it.

 

[Maxell46]

You may be just turned on by the "naughtness" of it...knowing your breasts were barely covered and almost visible etc.Not being the "good girl" you normaly are and having no choice but to be a bit different beneath your exterior.
A bit of a bad girl stirring deep within that you sudenly found?
Try going to work Monday with no panties.It will be safe and no one will notice but in your brain you'll know your pussy is bare and could be seen...

Nothing wrong with exploring your newfound turn ons.

 

[sara_l]

Work is off limits _ I want to be vulnerable and have no control so I have to pick an environment were things can't go wrong

As I said advice more than welcome

 

[subbie_333]

Work is off limits _ I want to be vulnerable and have no control so I have to pick an environment were things can't go wrong

This may be a contradiction that you might not be able to overcome without help. For example, you might try a shopping mall, confident that it is safe because of all the people and mall security, but, you could be followed and attacked in the parking lot. The same might apply to most public scenarios like bars, sports arenas, theaters, and, even public parks. If you make yourself vulnerable, then, you *are* vulnerable.

So, you may have to get creative as far as enlisting help to keep you safe. Like, if you want to do it at a shopping mall, make an "appointment" to meet a friend for lunch at the food court. Get to the mall earlier to do your stuff, but, leave the mall with your friend.

 

[sara_l]

new idea

Hi

Again thank you for the feed back I got here and by personal message.
I was focused on other stuff recently but kept on thinking about ways to get in a situation where I am dressed in a vulnerable outfit.

I was thinking about the following idea:
I know a nightclub that is looking for waitresses and bartenders. The girls working there always dress sexy – obviously to get tips. The whole atmosphere is very sexual.
I was thinking to try out for a job and wear something that makes me vulnerable. I would be in front of many people and would have to do a job so I am in some sense out of control.
At the same time it would be safe – they have security guys watching …

Do you have any thought – suggestions – ideas?

Thanks

Sara

 

[subwannabe]

Great idea. Keep running with it! Good luck.

 

[wouldloveto]

Hi

Again thank you for the feed back I got here and by personal message.
I was focused on other stuff recently but kept on thinking about ways to get in a situation where I am dressed in a vulnerable outfit.

I was thinking about the following idea:
I know a nightclub that is looking for waitresses and bartenders. The girls working there always dress sexy – obviously to get tips. The whole atmosphere is very sexual.
I was thinking to try out for a job and wear something that makes me vulnerable. I would be in front of many people and would have to do a job so I am in some sense out of control.
At the same time it would be safe – they have security guys watching …

Do you have any thought – suggestions – ideas?

Thanks

Sara

Wow Sara! This concept is new to me, but I can see what a turn on it might be for you, someone, and certainly at the moment, me.

I wish you good luck...

and I would like to know where this nightclub is.

 

[Adakgirl]

Vulnerable outfit
Hi
I am not very experienced in unusual sexual things.
But I realized that it turns me on to be dressed in a revealing outfit especially if it is out of my control and I feel vulnerable and helpless.

If you are dressing yourself to go to work..then that might remove the out-of-control-helpless turn on for you. But I say go for it anyway.

I think most women are turned on by wearing sexy revealing clothing in public. Or anywhere else for that matter. Wearing sexy revealing clothing automatically makes you vulnerable, because your sexuality is exposed for all to see. The feelings of arousal you feel while doing that are perfectly normal and not in the least unusual.

Your sexual excitement over feeling like you are out of control and helpless to do anything about the situation you are in, that there is no way out, that you are being forced into it and you have to do it because you have no other choice...is also a very common, perfectly normal emotionality in women.

There is nothing wrong with you for having these feelings.

 

[Adakgirl]

It could be that she wants to be "made" to do it, it could be that she's a real honest to god exhibitionist in her own right *toasts*

Agreed!

 

[sara_l]

Everyone, thank you for your comments.

If you are dressing yourself to go to work..then that might remove the out-of-control-helpless turn on for you. But I say go for it anyway.

Adakgirl: So the thought is: I bring an outfit that I have to change into to work. Once I am there, there is no way out even if the outfit could reveal too much. My fantasy is that I am trying to dress a little sexy for the job - but screw up and it is much more revealing than naïve me had planned - and now I have make the best out of it.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Hi

Again thank you for the feed back I got here and by personal message.
I was focused on other stuff recently but kept on thinking about ways to get in a situation where I am dressed in a vulnerable outfit.

I was thinking about the following idea:
I know a nightclub that is looking for waitresses and bartenders. The girls working there always dress sexy – obviously to get tips. The whole atmosphere is very sexual.
I was thinking to try out for a job and wear something that makes me vulnerable. I would be in front of many people and would have to do a job so I am in some sense out of control.
At the same time it would be safe – they have security guys watching …

Do you have any thought – suggestions – ideas?

Thanks

Sara

Forgive me for being a moodkiller once more but you could be making a mistake here. Wearing an outfit that makes you vulnerable in a nightclub full of drunk, horny men could get you assaulted or raped. If you look and act as though you are 'asking for it' in a horny man's booze crazed opinion, it may only be a matter of time before some guy corners and attacks you. Also, nightclubs have only a handful of security guys. Counting on one to spot you and rescue you in a crowded environment like that is incredibly dicey.

A stupid question maybe but... is it what you secretly want? Is it something you fantasise about? Forgive me, I reserve the right to be way off base here but if that is the case, you're playing an extremely dangerous game. Fantasy is hot and horny because it's safe inside your head. Rape and sexual assault are not.

Wear sexy clothes like the other girls by all means but please don't wear anything that will get you into real trouble. Real rape is not hot or sexy, neither are police investigations or STDs.

I hope you're sensible enough not to put yourself at real risk but your post suggested you planned to take the sexy way the other girls dress a stage further. Be very careful about the attention you attract and how flirtatious you are with strangers. Girls flirt for tips sure, but they'll be protective and assertive enough to slap a guy down if he tries taking liberties. Being overly flirtatious and sending out signals like that to drunk horny men could reap you a whirlwind of trouble.

I apologise if I'm way off base, I really do. I just thought all the 'go for it' comments needed a little balance.

 

[sara_l]

Thank you VelvetDarkness!

Your concerns are one of the reasons why I post here it is easy to overlook something and regret it later.
I want to make sure that I am safe that’s why I thought about the waitress / bartender idea.

I have no intention to flirt with anyone and I definitely will not do anything physical with anyone. So STDs are not an issue. Also I don’t plan to run around naked – I am still thinking of what to wear exactly – but I am not really worried about being arrested.

I have already talked to the head bartender. She told me that after the place closes everyone helps a little to wrap up things. Then there is always a group of girls that is taken home by taxi or the security guys walk you to your car.

The place is pretty upscale – so while there are still drunk horny idiots the atmosphere is not one of grabbing girls or fighting with random people.

When I work behind the bar there should be no problem – I doubt that someone would jump over the bar unnoticed….
When I walk around I might have to be a little more cautious but still I would be always surrounded by a lot of people and it would be hard for anyone to do anything to me – even if the security guys don’t see it right away.

I don’t know maybe I still overlook something
I had thought (and other have suggested) of a number of scenarios that seemed too risky and I thought this one would be safe because it is quite controlled.

But again thank you for your concern – let me know what you think – I definitely think about what you said.

Sara

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Upscale doesn't necessarily guarantee a better behaved class of client. In fact, they're perhaps more likely to objectify and look down on you than a bunch of guys in a regular club who have regular jobs. Wealth often brings with it a sense of entitlement and superiority, which men are particularly prone to.

I'm sure you know what you're doing but these things can happen so quickly. It's a semi controlled environment but knowing that may make you more reckless than is wise.

I hope this all goes well for you and that you have a great time with your fantasy while earning a little extra cash.

 

[Adakgirl]

Wear sexy clothes like the other girls by all means but please don't wear anything that will get you into real trouble. Real rape is not hot or sexy, neither are police investigations or STDs.
I hope you're sensible enough not to put yourself at real risk but your post suggested you planned to take the sexy way the other girls dress a stage further. Be very careful about the attention you attract

I agree completely Velvet. I should not have jut assumed she was sensible enough.

Everyone, thank you for your comments.



Adakgirl: So the thought is: I bring an outfit that I have to change into to work. Once I am there, there is no way out even if the outfit could reveal too much. My fantasy is that I am trying to dress a little sexy for the job - but screw up and it is much more revealing than naïve me had planned - and now I have make the best out of it.

Revealing is one thing, dressing so as you look like a hooker on the hunt for a trick, or dressing to look like a woman who will have sex with anybody anywhere, is quite another.

You could spill a drink on your work clothes, an hour or so before the end of your shift. That would force you into having to change..but also allow you an out to be able to go home soon after in case your fantasy starts to feel uncomfortable or dangerous. You can look revealing by wearing something simple like a white, almost sheer, blouse and a bra that shows 1/2 your nipples underneath. Or no bra at all with a at-the-knee skirt with no panties only nylons and a garter belt. Start out conservatively.

 

[sara_l]

Again thank you for your concerns and input.

I think I am much more conservative than you thought.
I am still trying to figure out what to wear but one thought I had was jeans and a loose low cut top – nothing under it. Nothing crazy but enough to show something when I bend over. Given my task I would have to bend over a lot. Normally I would never wear something like this and I would feel embarrassed all the time …

 

[Rickstrasser]

Sara, my wife loves not wearing panties out at night because she knows their not there and it makes her feel vulnerable. Under a skirt, she knows that a man could see up there if he looked, but the chances are slim of that happening. This makes her wet down there and increases her self conciousness.
You might also try putting ben wa balls in your pussy when you're working. You will feel them there all night but no one will know about it.