Virgin's Attempt At Erotic Poetry

[master_chay]

I write the odd poem here and there, and odd poems they are, to be sure, but I've not thought about writing erotic poetry before seeing it here.

Alright.

Here it goes.

[clears throat]

Don't ...


Don't turn your head like that,
don't show me your neck.

Don't put your hand
on your bare shoulder,
round and white,
like that.

Don't start to stroke yourself,
and don't give me that look,
don't run your tongue
over your lips.

Please don't sit up straighter,
don't hold up your hair
and stretch up, showing me
how stiff your nipples are
beneath that silly dress
that is no barrier at all
between your skin and mine.

Don't smile like that.

We are in public.

I tell you, stop,
because my hands are hot,
my balls are hard as hell
and painful,
my prick is straining
in my pants
and I
just cannot wait
to fuck you.

 

[bronzeage]

Well done.

 

[Angeline]

I agree with Bronze: you did a good job mainly, imho, cause you kept it simple. Too much description is telling the reader just what to think, whereas less engages one's imagination more. And I like that you didn't put too much emphasis on the "don'ts," so it doesn't sound like a list.

You should post more poems or get involved in the challenges.

 

[master_chay]

Thank you, that is very kind.




Poetry is really about the moment.

The good bits without the boring bits.

Hmm ...

I will look out for poetic moments now.

What is this going to do to my sexlife ....

 

[UnderYourSpell]

you know ladies that stroke themselves in public?

 

[master_chay]

you know ladies that stroke themselves in public?

This is something I look for before I decide I want to know a lady

 

[twelveoone]

Virgin's Attempt At Erotic Poetry

what am i missing here

 

[Angeline]

Virgin's Attempt At Erotic Poetry

what am i missing here

We're encouraging someone new, nu? Could it be better? Well yeah but I try to stay positive if it's someone I don't know. Were he to write more here and want more critique, I'd be more critical. Sometimes one doesn't see what a person can write till they work at it some, but if I scare them off, I shall never know.

 

[twelveoone]

We're encouraging someone new, nu? Could it be better? Well yeah but I try to stay positive if it's someone I don't know. Were he to write more here and want more critique, I'd be more critical. Sometimes one doesn't see what a person can write till they work at it some, but if I scare them off, I shall never know.

you're fine, he's fine, i was just having fun with thread title, so i wrote a one line poem