Virginity Question

[PVodogaz]

I am a 25 year old man who is yes still a virgin. I know I am in the minority within my age range, many of the people i know and my friends, have lost their virginity. Seeing my friends go ahead and lose theirs and complain to me saying that they should have of waited, from the age of 16 I decided I would wait for the right woman.

It hasn't been easy, I have dated several women and still have not met the right one. I won't give up, that definitely is not my forte.

What worries me is how a womanwhen i meet the right one and when we get to the stage of intimacy, will react when I do tell her it is my first time. Any women been in this situation at some point and can tell me how you's reacted.

Petar

 

[wicked woman]

Simple answer...if her response is not the one you want...she's not the right woman.

I've been with three men that were virgins when I met them...one was my ex-husband. Was honoured to be their first.

 

[SensualCealy]

I was my husbands first, and it made me feel privileged.
To think he thought I was the one he wanted to be his first makes me feel somewhat special.
It also made me think- I have soooo much to teach him!

Have fun when it happens, the first time is more awkward then anything.

Cealy

 

[Vixandra]

If more guys were like you we wouldn't have near the number of STD's we have running around.
Don't appologise for being a Virgin unless you've been actively seeking an end to it (ie chasing anything female trying to get laid)
Tis a good thing- I waited for the right guy and my 18th b-day.
Am now married to my first lover- tis a wonderful thing.

 

[PVodogaz]

Thankyou for the kind words, SensualCealy and wicked woman.

Great advice and I will take it onboard

 

[PVodogaz]

If more guys were like you we wouldn't have near the number of STD's we have running around.
Don't appologise for being a Virgin unless you've been actively seeking an end to it (ie chasing anything female trying to get laid)
Tis a good thing- I waited for the right guy and my 18th b-day.
Am now married to my first lover- tis a wonderful thing.

Thanks Vixandra,

That's another reason im waiting, when I have sex i want to be safe as I can be. Safe from STD's.

I am not chasing after women to get laid. I am prepared to wait.
And I am happy for you that you found your love early on.

Petar

 

[midwestyankee]

I am going to take the role of devil's advocate here.

If you have not done so already, I suggest you read some of the threads in Lit that talk about sexual incompatibility between life partners. The only way to know if you and your partner will be compatible is to try things out. People vary widely in their level of sexual interest, in their level of libido. And if you find yourself in a marriage with a partner who is either very much more or very much less interested in sex than you are, problems greater than you can imagine will drive your life.

When you first get serious with someone, or first get married (if you enter marriage as virgins), the newness of the sex and the excitement of falling in love will have you making love quite often. After a few months that newness and excitement wane a bit, pressures from other corners of life intrude, and your true colors begin to appear. Then, and only then will you have a true picture of the balance between you.

Steelmakers learn to stress the new steel with cold before finally finishing it. The same process is needed in relationships: put it under stress to see how it reacts. And observe carefully when you do because appearances can be deceiving.

I'm sure others can cite particular threads, but none come to mind right now.

Good luck.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

Ok - I'm going to REALLY play devil's advocate:

I really respect people who choose to wait. But the nagging question in the back of my head is..... what if you never find the 'right' woman? Are you going to wait forever? Is there an age limit? I am so very curious.

Hell I'm 43 and I still haven't found the 'right' guy! The guy I married sure wasn't the right one..... So if I had waited I would have missed out on all the great sex I've been having for the past 30 years. It just makes me wonder is all.......

 

[lovechild27]

Crazy makes a good point...


BUt if its your perogative to wait for someone you think belongs with you then good luck. I would be honored to be someones first!

 

[steve79bl]

former virgin

When I was younger I waited for the right person to come along. but I realized there's no outside thing that makes a person' the one'.

Many people have long full relationships without ever finding 'the one'. it's a mind set.

If your talking about meeting a person with whom you'll have an instant rapport, someone who understands you, and is your soulmate, that one person who was made for you by God or destiny or whatever outside power controls love then well... i'm not going to say they don't exist, but most of us aren't that lucky.Most of us have to work to make a relationship work.

That's how is is for sex, your first time may be bad, really bad. you might think you're the worst lover in the world. but , if your partner is someone you love, someone you fell comfortable opening yourself up to and can be intimate with on several levels , then I can almost guarentee it won't be.

just get to know what she likes, does she like to be held? kissed? tickled? does she wrestle? bite?

if you have an affectionalte non sexual relationship with a girl and then just go to the next level when it feels right.. then it will be right.

so don't even worry about it

 

[SIC]

wow man you got a strong will!!!! I couldnt have waited as long as you have that crazy too me. I mean when i was still playing hockey last year there was always pressure to bang some girl come on man. You past the hardest years i would say but stick to your guns on this cause you have for this long. Whats to happen if you never find the right girl ? One other thing i know is that as soon as you bring sex in to the relationship it changes it and you maybe like this isnt the right girl for me.

 

[PVodogaz]

Re: former virgin

When I was younger I waited for the right person to come along. but I realized there's no outside thing that makes a person' the one'.

Many people have long full relationships without ever finding 'the one'. it's a mind set.

If your talking about meeting a person with whom you'll have an instant rapport, someone who understands you, and is your soulmate, that one person who was made for you by God or destiny or whatever outside power controls love then well... i'm not going to say they don't exist, but most of us aren't that lucky.Most of us have to work to make a relationship work.

That's how is is for sex, your first time may be bad, really bad. you might think you're the worst lover in the world. but , if your partner is someone you love, someone you fell comfortable opening yourself up to and can be intimate with on several levels , then I can almost guarentee it won't be.

just get to know what she likes, does she like to be held? kissed? tickled? does she wrestle? bite?

if you have an affectionalte non sexual relationship with a girl and then just go to the next level when it feels right.. then it will be right.

so don't even worry about it

Very true, I am not saying I am hoping to find my soulmate (even though that would be nice) I just dont want to feel that I used a woman for sex ever. Respecting a woman at all times is always what I strive for.

Sex has always been important for me and i dont want to treat sex as some act that I need to get over. Sex is intimacy on the greatest and highest level.

I tell you and believe me when I say, its been hard waiting and hell at times I have literally chewed my nails away.

 

[Marcius]

Sometimes sex is just sex. But my hat is off to you.





Marcius

 

[Missingmeds]

Sometimes sex is just sex. But my hat is off to you.





Marcius

Thank you and can I use that line as a sig line Marcius?

 

[zhukov1943]

Re: Re: former virgin

Very true, I am not saying I am hoping to find my soulmate (even though that would be nice) I just dont want to feel that I used a woman for sex ever. Respecting a woman at all times is always what I strive for.

Sex has always been important for me and i dont want to treat sex as some act that I need to get over. Sex is intimacy on the greatest and highest level.

I tell you and believe me when I say, its been hard waiting and hell at times I have literally chewed my nails away.

Wow. I've always felt the same way - but I've got some very bad news for you...

You will find very, very few women who feel the same way you do. And most of the ones that you DO get with will be scared shitless by you and think that you're trying to "smother" them. The ones that aren't scared of you will break your heart at the drop of a hat, because "hit and run" is simply natural for them.

Your principles, while noble, will make you miserable in the long run.

 

[boston_bbw]

I can't wait till crazybbw gets an answer to her question. I am a 32 yr old virgin and am wondering just that. What if he never comes along. The older I get the more of a possability that becomes

 

[Vixandra]

To be honest- I had to fight and play a bit dirty to get my hubby away from his EX. Took me 2.5 years to get him but looking back now, nearing our second wedding anniversary on the 15th of this month, it was worth it.
All the tears, and feelings of "What does she have that I don't?" All the pain and annoyance and hating myself for being unable to make any other relationship work because the guy wasn't him.
I didn't have a chioce really- my heart wouldn't let me do otherwise.
The main draw back though- the thought of loosing him makes me cringe and pale, though I know because of a medical condition he has its a big possiblity.
If I didn't love from the depth of soul, if he didn't complete me and shed light on the darkness that is me, then it wouldn't be so scary. But I honestly don't know what I'd do if I lost him. *shudders* Damn doctor's visits- makin' me paranoid, LOL.

There are drawbacks to being with your "One true love" for nothing hurts like it can. And, in other relationships I've seen go wrong, nothing turnes to the deepest hate like that which was once the deepest love.

Sorry to be so doom and gloom. Kinda tired,
Even with all that risk, still wouldn't trade away the time I have with him, that I've spent and will spend with him for anything. I got very very very lucky and I admit it. Thank you Lady and Consort for him!

 

[sheath]

Kudos to you for setting your own personal standards and holding true to them.

In response to your question...I have been with men who hadn't tried certain things...for instance, being the first he had anal with, the first who went down on him, the first for whatever...and every single time, it was the most amazing turn-on!

Every time I have heard that shy, quiet "I have never done this before", my heart just does all sorts of insane things. I suddenly feel protective, determined to make it good...and the honor of that is something that stays with me. I look back on it and smile.

There are many, many women out there who will understand the magnitude of the gift you give when you offer your first time to her...and the right woman will never, ever take it lightly.

S.

 

[PVodogaz]

Thankyou to all for your comments and advice. They have made me feel better and I am glad that you all took the time to answer my thread.

All I know is when I am intimate with a lady, I want to please her as she should be.

Thankyou all again

 

[steve79bl]

I think you're stressing needlessly. find someone who likes you and the sex will be natural.


you seem like a together guy. if you have a little imaginination, a sence of humor and a person you feel comfortable enough with then you'll do fine with the whole sex thing.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

I can't wait till crazybbw gets an answer to her question. I am a 32 yr old virgin and am wondering just that. What if he never comes along. The older I get the more of a possability that becomes

Well it appears he isn't going to answer my question - but girlfriend..... c'mon! I mean - I do respect your decision - and admire the hell out of your will power - but hell - its just sex! It ain't the end all be all of the world.

I would never try to change someone's mind (especially a young man's) But you and I should sit down for a drink together some day! tick tick tick.... lol

 

[PVodogaz]

Ok - I'm going to REALLY play devil's advocate:

I really respect people who choose to wait. But the nagging question in the back of my head is..... what if you never find the 'right' woman? Are you going to wait forever? Is there an age limit? I am so very curious.

Hell I'm 43 and I still haven't found the 'right' guy! The guy I married sure wasn't the right one..... So if I had waited I would have missed out on all the great sex I've been having for the past 30 years. It just makes me wonder is all.......

---------

That's a question that quite often nags at me. If I don't by the age of 30 then I will have sex as soon as I can. I am a patient guy, I will wait as much as I can. But 30 is my limit.

 

[acamstar]

I'm sure she will be a little surprised, but if she truly cares for you, it won't make a difference. She should be caring, and help guide you through your 1st time. If her reaction isn't something like that... she's not the one you want to let take your virginity.

 

[Marcius]

Hey missingmeds,

Help yourself, Wow something I said is a sig line, I feel special I'm like Yeats but not as smart.


Marcius

 

[Missingmeds]

Hey missingmeds,

Help yourself, Wow something I said is a sig line, I feel special I'm like Yeats but not as smart.


Marcius

Thank you and I think you are just as special as Yeats.