Vibrator help

[veme]

Your wife has taken a great risk by telling you that she would like to introduce sex toys into your sex life, you should feel very happy that you and your wife have the type of relationship where she feels comfortable enough to talk to you about what she wants.

I have to admit that i had a typically macho reaction to the suggestion when my wife first suggested it and felt very threatened by the idea of us using sex toys to enhance our sex life, we talked and finally decided that we would try them but that if either one of us felt unhappy about using them then we would stop.

That was fifteen years ago and we now have a selection of toys that we use regularly in our love making, i have to say that it's extremley erotic to watch my wife enjoy herself and we have even started to use them as part of every day life.

I would suggest that you involve your wife in the process of selecting a sex toy, she will appreciate you more if you treat her as an equal in your relationship.

 

[NaiveOne]

All I'm saying is that maybe we were too quick to jump to conclusions this time, me included, based on the way he worded things. I think if I were in his position I might try something other than your average vibe too because I'd want it to be more of a personal touch.

Why am I getting so defensive about this? Shit I don't even know the guy! LOL! Maybe it's just that kind of week.

Thanks TBK!

I've been getting a reputation for sticking up for the strangers concerning Lit members being so quick to judge and make assumptions. I'm so glad you were the one to say this, because I was about to!

Yay!!!

I agree that it seems like he's not opposed to the vibrator, but just wants advice on the kind that may be considered more intimate. I didn't think he was being selfish when I first read it at all.

 

[Eilan]

Why am I getting so defensive about this?

I'm defensive as well, but for reasons opposing yours, I'm sure.

I've been getting a reputation for sticking up for the strangers concerning Lit members being so quick to judge and make assumptions. I'm so glad you were the one to say this, because I was about to!

The n00bs are so lucky to have you.

 

[TBKahuna123]

I'm defensive as well, but for reasons opposing yours, I'm sure.

Probably, but probably just as valid.

 

[A_Kefka]

I wasn't saying he shouldn't want to please her, he should, and it appears he does. But if he can do what she wants and be more comfortable about it it will work out better for both of them.

 

[Xenolan]

Hey, I wasn't able to look at responses for a few days due to computer problems, but I appreciate them all!

Allow me, though, to clarify what is on my mind and my feelings about the whole thing, because there seems to be some confusion.

First of all, my wife and I have had some sexual problems over the past few years. Without going too deeply into it, suffice it to say that she has a much lesser sex drive than I do, and for a time I was becoming extremely frustrated and began to take it personally. One of my defense mechanisms was to look at the situation with a dry humor, which comes across in my posts about it sometimes. We are trying to work past our problems now, and one of the ways she is reaching out is by telling me what will please her on a purely physical level.

What she said to me was that she'd like me to try a vibrator on her, and left it at that. I took that to mean that she was leaving it up to me insofar as exactly what sort of vibrator I might use, and so I started thinking about what I myself might enjoy using most. Since she gave me no details on what she would want, I figured I had a free pass to choose whatever I wanted to. In addition, I got the impression that it took some effort just for her to tell me what she wanted in general terms; once she sees that I'm willing to give it a try, she will probably be willing to discuss it in detail, and then I'll be able to find out more about what her preferences are.

I don't feel like I need to compete with the thing. I am well aware the difference between plastic device and warm body. I wouldn't want to get a phallic-shaped one mostly because I think they're pretty silly. Besides, I know that she doesn't have one like that herself, and I assume that if she wanted one she'd get one. But I intend to get whatever she wants in the end, because she is making similar efforts for me and I want to reciprocate.

There are two reasons why I want the kind that lets me touch her directly. One, because I get very turned on by doing that. Two, because that way I can more easily tell where I'm touching her, how much pressure I'm applying, and hopefully I can find the "magic touch" that gives her exactly what she needs.


All that having been said, I think that I like the "on-the-go" ring that Bindii recommended. It's small and unobtrusive, almost enough that I can ignore that it's there. It seems to leave the fingertips free, but it can also be used for direct contact if that's what she likes better, thus giving me (and her) the option. The oral one won't work; she doesn't like to receive oral sex. The major high-quality, ergonomic ones can wait until we're sure the concept works with us.


To those who questioned my motives, I can see where you might have gotten that idea; no hard feelings, we're . To those who leapt to my defense, thank you!

 

[jethrobodeen]

Did I mention how much I love toys?

Oooooh yes. Using on her, yeah.. but much better...watching her with them... If only we did it more. It takes her a bit more determination to get herself off with or without any toys than just me using my [pick one or more] finger or a few plunges of the manhood. And me too, without my sense of touch to guide me I sometimes wonder why the toy..? As a result Mr Pink stays in the drawer most of the time AFAIK LOL unless maybe during those dry spells when Mrs JB is having trouble with _______ about JB. You gotta kinda understand how the oriental culture has influenced her behavior. Picture angry woman chasing man out of kitchen with giant chopstick. It seems I need to coax her to do any object insertion (fingers included). One wild night she rode a beer bottle on the floor as I stood overlooking down into her eyes as she was giving me head, so I know she's got it in her (let me dull the moment for everyone with a warning about insertion of any object into the vagina that has not been properly cleansed *clears throat*).... She's no doubt a little self-conscious, though I think she's getting into it as we further explore this.

She likes the back massager though. Esp if she's on her period because clothing is less relevant and no worries on those heavier days. But then she's been able to dry hump herself on my leg to orgasm since early in our relationship. First time it happened, we became intimate real quick, but still had fun with dry humps on the couch with her parents in the next room... {oops there I go again...3 million words plus 50? V }

-JB

 

[Lust Engine]

To those who questioned my motives, I can see where you might have gotten that idea; no hard feelings, we're . To those who leapt to my defense, thank you!

No offense taken. I just wasn't sure of your intent. Thanks for the clarification.

 

[jethrobodeen]

What she said to me was that she'd like me to try a vibrator on her, and left it at that. I took that to mean that she was leaving it up to me insofar as exactly what sort of vibrator I might use, and so I started thinking about what I myself might enjoy using most. Since she gave me no details on what she would want, I figured I had a free pass to choose whatever I wanted to. In addition, I got the impression that it took some effort just for her to tell me what she wanted in general terms; once she sees that I'm willing to give it a try, she will probably be willing to discuss it in detail, and then I'll be able to find out more about what her preferences are.

Just thinking out loud here Xenolan, I might be inclined to read a little more between the lines.... More than which toy, but more, perhaps even an olive branch being offered to you.... showing a desire and willingness.... Rambling...

If I were you, I'd forget about myself on this, and try to pick the one she would. You could be wrong, but then go shopping again until you get it right....

-JB

 

[TBKahuna123]

I love the suggestion to go online and shop together. I would try that, maybe pick a few your like, and then let her give her opinions. If nothing else it'll be fun!

 

[Eilan]

I might be inclined to read a little more between the lines....

Some people might call it that. Others might call it jumping to conclusions.

 

[Cardinal]

Get a vibe! If its her idea I agree shop together online and look at all of the different toys! I love playing with toys in bed with my wife. Lets face it women take longer to get arroused men just need, oh hell we don't need anything to get turned on! and once we start to have sex I can't last as long as my wife would like so if we start with toys hopefully we both get what we are looking for.
Also a good idea is to look into the in home pleasure partys that she can host or attend with friends and get a lot more information.

I would like more informatin from women about using the vibrating eggs like were posted here. that is one toy that we don't have but if my wife wouldllike it I'll buy two!!!! let me know thanks.

 

[jethrobodeen]

Some people might call it that. Others might call it jumping to conclusions.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

-JB

 

[Cardinal]

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

-JB

No matter how wrong it is! And if it is wrong it will be pointed out here!

 

[jethrobodeen]

No matter how wrong it is! And if it is wrong it will be pointed out here!

Ok, I need enlightenment. Lay it on me

I've said a lot of stuff in my short time here, but what part of "If I were you, I'd forget about myself on this, and try to pick the one she would." is deserving of this attitude I'm getting? Paallllleeeaaassseee! this may have just been one of the most thoughtful, unselfish things I've ever spoken....

Why the attitude? Lay it on me.... WTF?

-JB

 

[jethrobodeen]

Ok, I need enlightenment. Lay it on me

I've said a lot of stuff in my short time here, but what part of "If I were you, I'd forget about myself on this, and try to pick the one she would." is deserving of this attitude I'm getting? Paallllleeeaaassseee! this may have just been one of the most thoughtful, unselfish things I've ever spoken....

Why the attitude? Lay it on me.... WTF?

-JB

Oh, cardinal. Sorry dude, I was distracted by the panties

-JB

 

[NaiveOne]

Some people might call it that. Others might call it jumping to conclusions.

Ouch.

That hurt.

 

[Halo_n_horns]

I can't help myself. This thread reminds me of one of my favorite live comedy jokes. Too bad I can't seem to recall the guy's name ...

"Big Red was its name. $395.00 was the first payment. Twin Mercury engines; B&M 6-speed turbo transmission with overdrive and a crash helmet in case ya got thrown off."

I feel better now. As you were.

 

[Xenolan]

We did it!

Well, we went ahead and did it. My wife selected a simple black 6-inch from her stash and we tried it in a few different positions. I'm going to need some practice in applying it, it seems - my attempts to use it on her were frustrating rather than satisfying, for both of us.

It also, as I suspected, doesn't do a damn thing for me. The vibrations just don't stimulate me the right way.

HOWEVER... once we got into the rear-entry position, and she applied it to herself while I did her from behind, that's when things really took off. She got so excited I almost thought she was faking it for my benefit - I'd never heard her make sounds like that! I still found the vibration a little distracting, but I could live with it.

After we were done, she revealed that she had actually had three orgasms, and that she couldn't believe how incredible it felt to be penetrated and vibrated at the same time! I think it's actually the first time in years that she enjoyed sex as much as (if not more than) I did.

Next time we're going to try propping her up on pillows or something so she doesn't have to support herself with her face (she had to use one hand to work the toy and the other just wasn't up to the job of holding her up once the first orgasm hit!). Also, I want to look into finding something that can be used without hands, either something I can wear or that she can, so that we can do it in other positions.

For now, I'm just thrilled that she's actually getting hot in bed! We haven't been there for a long, long time.

 

[rthnck]

double your pleasure

Well, something like this might be a little more interactive. Fun for her, fun for you. and she'll get the vibe on her clit that she's looking for.....

http://www.adameve.com/sex-toys/cock-rings/ae-dual-pleasurizer-pc-9768-504.aspx