Vampire Missionaries

[shakna]

This idea comes from a meme, but I'd love to see it go somewhere.

"Hello, do you have a minute to talk about Dracula?"

"No - Wait, Dracula?"

"Yes!"

"You're... Vampires?"

"Yes. We have pamphlets."

"Vampires have missionaries?"

"Where else would new vampires come from?"

"I thought you bit people?"

"There are many hurtful stereotypes. May we come in?"

 

[IndigoDarling1]

They go door to door hoping to be invited in but none do. They’ve been warned about inviting in vampires by some cockblocking Christians who have a monopoly on the neighborhood. Their frustration grows and grown until they’ve finally had enough!

“That’s it we’re throwing together a car wash/cookout at the castle…I mean church. That’ll entice the humans to us!”

Then they proceed to go ahead with this ungodly creation that is a wild success much to the christians dismay. At last they are able to preach about our Lord and Savior Dracula while grilling and washing cars.

 

[FantasySharer1]

Twist on the story - (not distracting from yours, just an "alternative universe") to yours -

1. Vampires don't drink blood to survive at all. They drink cum and pussy juice.
2. When they drink from you you become one of them and are now as addicted as they are.
3. They can get a little satisfaction from each other which is why they don't need to "convert" people all the time and can survive on food and each other's cum, but they will die if they don't convert a fresh person every few months.

 

[DarkSollat]

1. Vampires don't drink blood to survive at all. They drink cum and pussy juice.

This is how you do it LitErotica style!

They go door to door hoping to be invited in but none do. They’ve been warned about inviting in vampires by some cockblocking Christians who have a monopoly on the neighborhood. Their frustration grows and grown until they’ve finally had enough!

“That’s it we’re throwing together a car wash/cookout at the castle…I mean church. That’ll entice the humans to us!”

Then they proceed to go ahead with this ungodly creation that is a wild success much to the christians dismay. At last they are able to preach about our Lord and Savior Dracula while grilling and washing cars.

I'm strongly against including real life religions in erotic fiction.

 

[IndigoDarling1]

Twist on the story - (not distracting from yours, just an "alternative universe") to yours -

1. Vampires don't drink blood to survive at all. They drink cum and pussy juice.
2. When they drink from you you become one of them and are now as addicted as they are.
3. They can get a little satisfaction from each other which is why they don't need to "convert" people all the time and can survive on food and each other's cum, but they will die if they don't convert a fresh person every few months.

Oooh I like it. It makes me think of 60s hippie vibes. I also imagine them knocking on doors converting housewives and then the husbands when they come home.

 

[IndigoDarling1]

This is how you do it LitErotica style!


I'm strongly against including real life religions in erotic fiction.

Ooops I didn’t mean to offend anyone. I was going to use werewolves but thought it might take away from the vampire element so I changed. Priests and vampires go hand in hand so I really didn’t think it would offend anyone.

 

[ericrodman101]

This idea has great potential as a genre blender, sort of a cross between Twilight and What We Do In The Shadows and porn. As for a vampire car wash, I’d happily watch a bunch of beautiful vampires, male and female, in swimsuits washing cars, especially in slomo, and then chowing down on their customers/victims. Let’s add some vampire cheerleaders as well.

 

[hotwords229_A]

When they drink from you you become one of them and are now as addicted as they are.

Don’t forget a vampire drinks your blood, but you don’t become one of them unless you drink their blood too.
That leaves more potential for sexiness—sucking your cum makes you desire theirs even more.

The cum is the life.

 

[shewantsmore]

I like the idea of vampires, i mean why not,we have Christian, muslim,etc etc why not vampire and im sure they no longer need to avoid the sun, they need to promote there way of life,i would certainly invite them in to hear what they have to say

 

[UsuallyPresent]

What might vamps save us from?
Hemochromatosis - too much iron in the blood
Cholesterol?
Infections/infestations/etc they could suck out? ("Dammit, another metastatic cancer? Those taste just like ear wax!")
Blood spirits?
Ooh! They might be able to suck out hormone overloads, maybe cancelling out some kinda biochemical mind control! Incubi/sucubi vs vamps, struggling against each other - in vein!
Radiation exposure? (No wonder their eyes glow! Tritium buildup!)

 

[AlinaX]

Don’t forget a vampire drinks your blood, but you don’t become one of them unless you drink their blood too.
That leaves more potential for sexiness—sucking your cum makes you desire theirs even more.

The cum is the life.

Actually interesting.

Vampires feeding on cum is not a new thing. There were even two versions of Jesús Franco's 1975 film The Female Vampire, one revolving around blood, the around sexual fluids. But I don't recall any stories where swallowing the vampire's cum triggers the transformation to vampire.

 

[RoperTrace]

What might vamps save us from?
Hemochromatosis - too much iron in the blood
Cholesterol?
Infections/infestations/etc they could suck out? ("Dammit, another metastatic cancer? Those taste just like ear wax!")
Blood spirits?
Ooh! They might be able to suck out hormone overloads, maybe cancelling out some kinda biochemical mind control! Incubi/sucubi vs vamps, struggling against each other - in vein!
Radiation exposure? (No wonder their eyes glow! Tritium buildup!)

What might they save us from? Uh, death, well in a manner of speaking. Give their new recruits, immortality in the form of living-dead. I like this idea. Most vampire stories and films have a strong sexual attraction theme to go along with blood-sucking, etc. This idea is so good, I wished I'd thought of it.

 

[shakna]

What might they save us from? Uh, death, well in a manner of speaking. Give their new recruits, immortality in the form of living-dead. I like this idea. Most vampire stories and films have a strong sexual attraction theme to go along with blood-sucking, etc. This idea is so good, I wished I'd thought of it.

Vampires, here to save us with their blood. Now there's a fun doorknocking cult!
If you write this, I want to read it.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

What might they save us from? Uh, death, well in a manner of speaking. Give their new recruits, immortality in the form of living-dead. I like this idea. Most vampire stories and films have a strong sexual attraction theme to go along with blood-sucking, etc. This idea is so good, I wished I'd thought of it.

One fun lil fly in the ointment - in at least some tales, vamps can’t feed on vamps. If this is true in your writing, then they’ll have serious motivation to keep the planet going, and maybe even choose to intervene to protect humans from themselves. Superman’s cape is blood red for another reason, perhaps

Flip side to the coin, not all humans can be converted. There’ll have to be quite a few humans around to keep the blood flowing & the vamps healthy.

Could make for … interesting dynamics in a tale. Utopian? Dystopian? How ‘bout, embrace the power of BOTH!