Valentine's Gifts....

[SEVERUSMAX]

Why so one-sided? Why do men give women gifts, but women are not expected to do anything in return? Isn't love, which is supposedly what is celebrated, supposed to be 2-way street, especially in this age of "equality"? This is one example of double standards that are weighed AGAINST men, and in favor of the supposedly "oppressed" female sex.

Also, how does this work in same-sex relationships? Who is expected to do the giving in those cases?

Also, I have been stood up for dates in the past. Why do women complain about this, and then turn around and do this to men themselves? Isn't that hypocritical? One woman even sued over this, on the pretext of how much money she spent on preparing for it. I spent a bit of money on food for dinner, but I wouldn't DREAM of suing over something like that!

Same with slapping....women are somehow given a free pass to do this on the basis of their "weakness" (even many of the same women will turn around and claim to be stronger than men)- isn't this just a case of socially sanctioned passive-aggression? A man would NEVER get away with that kind of BS!

 

[cloudy]

Why so one-sided? Why do men give women gifts, but women are not expected to do anything in return? Isn't love, which is supposedly what is celebrated, supposed to be 2-way street, especially in this age of "equality"? This is one example of double standards that are weighed AGAINST men, and in favor of the supposedly "oppressed" female sex.

Also, how does this work in same-sex relationships? Who is expected to do the giving in those cases?

I've always thought of holidays like this as a two-way street. I don't expect much, but a card would be nice. I do the same for him.

Also, I have been stood up for dates in the past. Why do women complain about this, and then turn around and do this to men themselves? Isn't that hypocritical? One woman even sued over this, on the pretext of how much money she spent on preparing for it. I spent a bit of money on food for dinner, but I wouldn't DREAM of suing over something like that!

With a few exceptions, like unforseen emergencies, I think standing someone up is reprehensible, but I wouldn't ever sue anyone over it. Live and learn, I suppose.

Same with slapping....women are somehow given a free pass to do this on the basis of their "weakness" (even many of the same women will turn around and claim to be stronger than men)- isn't this just a case of socially sanctioned passive-aggression? A man would NEVER get away with that kind of BS!

Here, I disagree with you.

I've slapped my husband before, as hard as I could. It didn't even phase him. He weighs close to 200 lbs, I weigh about 130. I CAN'T HURT HIM BY SLAPPING HIM.

The opposite isn't true. THAT'S the difference.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

But isn't it passive aggression?

 

[cloudy]

But isn't it passive aggression?

how is it passive, pray tell?

I wanted to rip his head off his shoulders, and stuff it up his ass, but since I'm physically unable to do that, I slapped him to get his attention.

 

[minxx66]

Hi I always give the man in my life a gift. The best gifts are not necessarily those bought in the shops!!
I agree that most women clamour for equality when it suits them and was recently chatting to a guy who was practically attacked because he wouldn't put out on a date! She told him as she'd made the effort to turn up the least he could do was......and if that had been the other way around she'd have had him arrested!!

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

It just reminds of the smaller man hitting the bigger man, getting hit in return, and accusing him of being a "bully". I respect your different view on the matter, however.

 

[English Lady]

ooooh an argument thread!


Seems pretty even over here in the UK. ladies and Gents both get presents and cards for their beloved's. However, it is very hard to find a nice, sentimental valentine's card for my husband, they're usually all so bland.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

However, it is very hard to find a nice, sentimental valentine's card for my husband, they're usually all so bland.

Make your own... that's what I do...

<--refusing to get drawn into sev's passive aggressive attempt at starting an argument <grin>

 

[ABSTRUSE]

ooooh an argument thread!


Seems pretty even over here in the UK. ladies and Gents both get presents and cards for their beloved's. However, it is very hard to find a nice, sentimental valentine's card for my husband, they're usually all so bland.

*snicker*

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

This is just another example of liking someone as a person, agreeing with them about 2/3 of things, and profoundly disagreeing on the third. Whoever is right, I just shrug it off as a simple difference of opinion, and let it go.

I try to remind myself that, because I have a bad habit of trying to persuade people and getting frustrated in the process when the debate resolves nothing.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Make your own... that's what I do...

<--refusing to get drawn into sev's passive aggressive attempt at starting an argument <grin>

LMAO. Hah! You caught me! See, even holidays can be good fuel for a debate.

 

[Norajane]

I have no idea what you're talking about re V-Day gifts and activities. I've always given small gifts and/or made them, or made dinner for us complete with candles and rose petals. I have experienced the reverse, though, where I've given something and really get nothing in return.

I can't speak to women standing men up and being mad if it happens to them. My guess is it's not the same women doing the standing up and complaining of being stood up. Probably two separate groups of people.

I've never slapped anyone or threaten to, nor vice versa.

What a mean world you live in Severus.

 

[Guest]

I usually give presents. The Valentine's gifts I usually get are out of obligation and it takes the happiness out of it.

Face slapping is fine as long as it's him to me and not his hand

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

I have no idea what you're talking about re V-Day gifts and activities. I've always given small gifts and/or made them, or made dinner for us complete with candles and rose petals. I have experienced the reverse, though, where I've given something and really get nothing in return.

I can't speak to women standing men up and being mad if it happens to them. My guess is it's not the same women doing the standing up and complaining of being stood up. Probably two separate groups of people.

I've never slapped anyone or threaten to, nor vice versa.

What a mean world you live in Severus.

Same world. I just seem to meet its less admirable inhabitants at times. I was nice enough to give one girl a 2nd chance, because she gave me some excuse, and she had the nerve to tell me that I'd "better be there". She was one to talk!

Am I jaded? It's possible. I tend to be cynical, anyway. Having people treat you like shit doesn't help there. Luckily, I've got a good woman now. Goes to show that men have to kiss a lot of frogs too.....

 

[entitled]

umm... yeah.

OK, i'm different from most women. That's a given. For example: i warn people if i'm close to losing my temper enough to slap them. It gives them a chance to back off and let me regain my composure before it comes down to that. Which is good. i've only had to resort to slapping somebody once. He walked around with a hand-shaped bruise on his cheek for two weeks. It wasn't pretty.

Gift giving? All a crock of shit. i've either returned gifts or handed them back and told the giver to take it back themselves. Valentine's day isn't supposed to be about giving tchotchkes to somebody to show your love and appreciation. That's not what love is about. That's not what love is for.

Standing people up? Doesn't happen. If a person doesn't at least call and say they're not showing up, they've blown their chance. Period. Doesn't matter if it's me or anybody else. They're simply not worth the time and effort.

 

[Liar]

Not down with the whole Valentine's thing. What is it, an excuse to be non-romantic the rest of the year?