Vacuum cleaner sex story please! :)

[vacuumfucker]

I have been having sex with vacuum cleaners for years. I'd LOVE to read a story about it. I've used the carwash vacuums late at night... when I'm staying with friends I'll use their central vac hose if it's big enough... I've never had a girl watch but that would be HOT! Also getting caught fucking a vacuum canister or hose is a huge turn on.

Gratefully Yours,
Vacuumfucker

 

[Monazwx]

I think a bit more explanation (and insight) is required.
You're the first (and only) person, so far, on the site that I've seen that admits to fucking vaccuums.
How does that work for you? When and how did you start this?

 

[vacuumfucker]

Absolutely. I was 14 when I started and I didn't know how to masturbate. I tried the vacuum in reverse in the beginning (with it blowing because that's what I thought a blowjob was) and then tried it with the actual suction. I did it with a filter queen hose a couple of times and then eventually with a canister vacuum with a big hole. I did it almost every night until I was 17.

I thought I was the only one who had ever done this and went for years without sticking my dick in a vacuum cleaner hose. Then one night a few years ago got horny and started doing it again (I'm 30 now). The vibration is what does most of the work. If you go to pornotube there are a couple of great videos of guys fucking vacuum cleaners. xtube also has even more video of guys with vacuums. If you google wife catches guy with vacuum cleaner there is a funny joke video about it.

I like the thought of getting caught (by someone that wouldn't totally freak out). I thought it would be fun to try a shop vac or have some special place in my house where I could get sucked off. Thanks for the reply. Have a wonderful week.

Sincerely,
Car wash vacuum hose fucker

 

[mjl2010]

I'd like to point out this is a rather dangerous practice. I happen to know that at least one guy managed to vacuum his foreskin right off. I'm not sure what the circumstances were and it was something he'd been doing for some time. It happened back in the late 1970's. It was just one of the stories my father told about weird sex stuff that ended up with people in an emergency room.

 

[vacuumfucker]

Fucking the vacuum

I've seen a lot of warnings... but for the purpose of the story... can we pretend it's safe And perhaps include a disclaimer. I'd LOVE to read a story about this!

VF

 

[FallenMorgan]

Um...okay...

 

[vacuumfucker]

Yay!

Does that mean I get to read a story!?! Very excited!

 

[emap]

I am quite it is way more than one.

Heck I remember way back in the 80's some kid got the skin of his pulled off by a passing semi truck. Said kid was in a car with his mom and the semi passed by, got caught in a draft and swerved over close enough to catch ahold of him there. I did ask at the time but so glad they never said why his dick was out the window, and what mom was doing or not doing that he did that.

He was I think 12 or 13 when this happened so I assume he had a stiffy.

Anyway, don't look at me I am not writing this, not male and heck, I can do weird stories but I am so not touching this.

 

[vacuumfucker]

Will anyone?

This is a story I've fantasized about for a long time... you can see lots of videos of guys doing this... I'd love to read a story about it.

 

[vacuumfucker]

Video clip of vacuum cleaner blowjob

http://www.pornotube.com/media.php?m=82395

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I'm not writing it, but it is unique enough that perhaps Grateful Fred would be able to.

 

[wehstar]

I've never had a girl watch but that would be HOT!

What you need is a webcam and a very strange or bored woman. I'm sure there are some on the internet somewhere. That's where they go, the internet.

 

[vacuumfucker]

What I would like...

Webcam or not... what I need is someone willing to write this story *sigh*

 

[emap]

Yes well see the problem lays in most of the posters in the story ideas only like to write their own kinks. I suppose I could do a good vacuum sex watching story, though I doubt you would enjoy it since well I get nothing out of said watching of that and I just gotta get fucked if there is a hard cock around.

Kinda odd Gratefulfred hasn't popped in, that weird old coot has a thing for writing off the wall stuff.

 

[Carnevil9]

Kinda odd Gratefulfred hasn't popped in, that weird old coot has a thing for writing off the wall stuff.

Maybe he's at home, experimenting with his Hoover.

 

[ms.read]

Maybe he's at home, experimenting with his Hoover.

I heard He Split a new personality when somebody hacked his account.... or maybe he is playing with hoover!

 

[vacuumfucker]

Thanks... that's cool

You could totally make it a 'catching me' story and then great sex... and then a cum shot in the vacuum... no mess

 

[emap]

Ummm no I couldn't, I am all about catching every teensy bit of the sperm to swallow or elsewhere. If some guy I let between my legs pulled out to shoot all over a vacuum he had better shoot and run really really fast.

 

[GratefulFred]

I'm not writing it, but it is unique enough that perhaps Grateful Fred would be able to.

I'm back in South Florida now so excuse me if I wasn't able to respond while flying.
The problem of being in the 69 position with a hot chic in a small airplane bathroom is that after 10 hours the blood really does go to your head.

At any rate here's a vacuum story attempt. After reading it, I am sure that this fetish will pick up like RedHairedandFriendly's dress.

(Disclaimer) At 0.0001 seconds after midnight of my 18th birthday my life officially began. (End Disclaimer) Before that I was unable to get on a pornographic website as a result of all the difficult home page questionnaires. I sweated it out until the age of 18:0:0:0:0002 whereupon I placed no doubt the two most commonly used combination of keywords on my goggle search engine - "vacuum sex".

Just after the first choice of Ron Paul's official website, I logged onto the second choice being vacuumsex.com. The description of the website said everything you ever wanted to know about having sex with a vacuum cleaner but didn't want to pay for Ron Paul's instructional video. And with those thoughts I clicked on my first smut filled website.

One day later after analyzing the disclaimer page I saw that I was in my rights to click on enter. However before doing so I gave my friend my $500 bar mitzvah money just in case of a surprise police raid while watching the website. Never know how quick the thought police act.

I clicked on "Enter" the next day and jumped for cover. Moments later I gathered my composure, threw my soiled pants into the laundry, and began my quest for Camelot.

A flood of information hit me smack on and I want to share with you the reader something’s you may not be aware of. If you grab you penis you may discover something totally mind-blowing. By actually applying a forceful grip you can actually stop the flow of urination - WOW!

I put the video on pause as I saw the discussion moving in the direction of vacuum cleaners. After 5 minutes developing a game plan and trying to work it out myself, I had to go back to the video to see how to operate the device.

After taking off the safety plug from the wall jack I inserted the end of the cable inside and it fit securely like my mother's dress. Still there was no sound from the vacuum such that was coming from the video. I paused the video once again and searched for that secret inscribed password to turn this devise on. I tried different hand gestures, chants, quick jerking movements, door slamming, belly flops on the floor and nothing happened. I was beginning to give up hope. Finally I came up with the brilliant ploy of getting my mom to turn it on as I glued my Spiderman issue number 1 to the monitor - a small price to pay.

Clueless mom turned on the vacuum by flicking some "Switch" on the fake premise (snicker...snicker) that I needed to clean my room. I rushed her out and closed the door. Spiderman's sacrifice would not be in vain.

I grabbed the hose of the vacuum and acted on instinct. Moments later I screamed out in pain as the sharp ruffles of the end of the vacuum had caused my penis to bleed. It was so painful that I passed out.

The hospital personal were very friendly and loved to come visit me even if it was just to stop in and laugh. After one day and 20 stitches I went home. My mom and dad informed me that I had a visitor and left the strange man and me alone.

I had suspected that my parents might try this and told him that it was all in accident and that I was simply trying to take some dust out of the atmosphere as my way of preventing global warming. He asked me if I was taking drugs and I told him that my wood floor was good enough and I wasn't a thief. He asked me if I had any girlfriends and I showed him a picture of three of my "babes" and told him "Bubbles" was my favorite and she calls me her "mojoman".

After sometime my parents returned and they had a worried look on their face. The man gave my parents some slip of paper and whispered something to mom who cried, no doubt brokenhearted that I was going out with a goyish powerpuff girl.

Days passed and it was only a matter of time before I would be able to get at that vacuum cleaner locked away. My parents had confiscated my computer and I was no longer able to log on no matter how much I tried on the TV set.

Months passed until one day I noticed they had left the safety latch off the closet door. I waited until mom left and grabbed the beloved vacuum cleaner once again. Locking my door, I quickly plugged in the devise. The hose had no fitting attached to its end. Nonetheless, I succeeded in turning the vacuum on and felt a strange new sensation - my penis actually grew hard. Imagine that?

I put the end of the hose on my penis and waited. I looked inside the other end of the hose and just saw dark. The vacuum was going but without the video I was clueless. Where are you Ron Paul?

I position myself over the bed and put one end in my mouth. My penis didn't feel the air as I exhaled.

In time I tasted some pee and knew at that moment the true meaning of vacuum sex. The hose acted as a perfect conduit between the penis and the mouth. It now made perfect sense. I could drink my pee to my hearts content and not waste a drop. I was no longer a virgin though after a while the vacuum cleaner noise started giving me a headache. I guess it added to the ambiance.

The End

 

[vacuumfucker]

Hmmmmmm...

Thank you... I guess. I was hoping for a story about a guy fucking a vacuum cleaner. Getting milked by it and cumming into it. I'm grateful for your attempt.

 

[GratefulFred]

Thank you... I guess. I was hoping for a story about a guy fucking a vacuum cleaner. Getting milked by it and cumming into it. I'm grateful for your attempt.

I could write a sequel?

 

[vacuumfucker]

Cool

You're pretty famous in these parts. My request was unusual and everyone was waiting to hear from you. You're kind of a big deal Thanks for all your hard work... want to edit something like this?

He was kneeling in front of his mom's little blue vacuum, his pants down -
puddled around his ankles. This type of fucking was more natural to him than
anything else. He had started by fucking the filter queen hose when he was
18 and had not actually used his hand to whack off for quite a while
afterwards. He pushed the button at the back of the
canister and put the head of his cock inside. He was well into giving it to
the hole when his mom came down the stairs. He didn’t hear her over the
suction and she wanted to know if he had any laundry that needed to be done.
She heard the vacuum but assumed he was cleaning his room. He’d become a
bit of a neat freak lately and would have her other vacuum in his room at
all times. She thought it was a bit strange, but chalked it up to teenage
hormones and changes. When she opened the door to ask about the laundry,
she was shocked… she froze… stunned at what she saw. Her son was pounding the hole on the little blue vacuum… being sucked off and at the brink of orgasm. She didn't react right away. Instead, she just stood there
watching the event. Watching her son fuck an inanimate object tickled a
little part inside of her - she didn't know whether to be mad or horny.
She'd have to do the nasty with his dad tonight. As she stood there
watching him madly fuck the vacuum, grunting and moaning, she snapped back
to reality, but by the time she could confront him, he couldn’t stop and he
exploded into the canister… not sure what he was going to say when he
finished… He wondered how long she'd been watching him. He wondered if
she'd let him keep the vacuum in his room, knowing that he wasn't cleaning
anymore. He wondered why the feeling of being caught excited him just that
much more and made him blow the biggest load he'd ever had.

 

[GratefulFred]

You're pretty famous in these parts. My request was unusual and everyone was waiting to hear from you. You're kind of a big deal Thanks for all your hard work... want to edit something like this?

I'm not famous out here vacuumfucker. I just am on Literotica by reason of default. There are thousands of websites supporting erotic writting but nothing that supports adult humor & satirical pieces. I have lost countless stories from closed down sites. I may have found another website but it seems a bit complicated with submissions. Once I escape my self imposed exile, I may vanish like a fart on the wind. I like to write adult stories with twists, somewhat warped
or deeply philosophical.

My advise to you is to continue with what you've written with an editor under your name. Take pride in having written it yourself. Write more stories under this genre. Don't let grammar and sentence structure stand in your way.

You'll have a story that you'll appreciate a hell of a lot more this way. You won't however forget mine.

Good luck and good fuck!

 

[mjl2010]

How the hell did i miss Freddy's story? LMAO

 

[GratefulFred]

I submitted it in the middle of the night when no one was looking. No doubt my most unnoticed piece yet.

You and vacuumfucker are just so special...