Vacation Magic

[skippycheese]

Title: Vacation Magic
Author: skippycheese
Genre: Incest/Taboo (With a Sci-Fi twist)

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=306095


Any thoughts on the story? Should I make more along these lines or should I try writing some of the other stories I have cooking?

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Well...more than anything else you needed a damn good edit before you submitted this. There are grammatic, punctuation and tense errors galore in this piece.

Generally, the story and the writting are juvinile in content. The fantasy is unbelievable and unrealistic. You had a good idea, but just didn't carry it off very well. You were far too interested in getting down to the sex and not developing the story and characters. In the end you have a few faceless characters playing some perverse sex game in the middle of the night with no motivation or real interest for the reader other than for a mediocre wank.

 

[skippycheese]

Exactly. This was one of my first stories written, just haven't put it up until now.

As for Editors, I've had bad expieriences with them. I've requested one, no response. The second wasn't willing to try the style, and the third was too busy.

I was more thinking of feedback storywise, seeing if I should write a new chapter, fixing all the errors/etc.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Editors are good and bad. It just depends on your relationship with him/her. I love mine, but I don't use him a lot because I know he's busy.

As far as salvaging this story or writing an additional chapter - Don't. This story would require a major overhaul to make it interesting, so another chapter would not do much.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

I agree with Jenny. the story was poorly written, and far fetched.

 

[skippycheese]

Aight, thank you. This is the kind of feedback I was looking for.

When writing Erotica, my plot writing skills seem to fall to shit. I guess I get too focused on making it "weird".