Unwilling husband?

[Canadian_cutie]

I am 23 and have been with my husband for 6 years. I have more recently tried to express interest BDSM and anal play but he seems uncomfortable when I try to talk about it. I think he is a little weirded out by my changing needs and I haven't been able to get him to try anything new yet. I was wondering if anyone had any ideas on how I can get my husband interested in being my master, or atleast a little more willing to try new things?

 

[BiBunny]

There are two threads on the front page of this forum about this type of situation already. However, if you can't be arsed to read them, then at least read this very sensible post by Netzach.

 

[gaius7]

You're probably not going to turn him into your master but you might try talking with him about his objections, he may have a very different idea of what you want than what you're thinking. Also, it a little soon to be talking about a "master". You 're still new at this and you may not even like it after you've tried it.

If you want him to get comfortable with the idea and ease him into some S/m play you might try making love to him on your hands and knees or ask him to be a little rougher when he fondles you. If that doesn't work, you could withold oral sex until you get your ass spanked.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

If that doesn't work, you could withold oral sex until you get your ass spanked.

Emotional blackmail will totally get you where you want to be. And you'll be uber happy as well.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I am 23 and have been with my husband for 6 years. I have more recently tried to express interest BDSM and anal play but he seems uncomfortable when I try to talk about it. I think he is a little weirded out by my changing needs and I haven't been able to get him to try anything new yet. I was wondering if anyone had any ideas on how I can get my husband interested in being my master, or atleast a little more willing to try new things?

Reassure him. If he's 'weirded out by your changing needs', simply let him know that you still think he is hot stuff, and that you want to explore these things with him because you love him and trust him and want to explore everything there is with him.

Instead of focusing on what your fantasies are right now, try and engage him in some of his. Discuss and try them. Be open to them. And when he's getting comfortable in that regard, ask him to try some of yours.

And read Netzach's post that bunny linked to.

 

[graceanne]

If that doesn't work, you could withold oral sex until you get your ass spanked.

*spew*

I am so glad I decided to read this thread. LOL

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

*spew*

I am so glad I decided to read this thread. LOL

Mmm, I'm really trying to decide who would suffer most from the with holding of oral sex. And I do think it would be me. And not even because I would get spanked!

 

[unregistered]

 

[gaius7]

Lighten up people! It was a joke

 

[graceanne]

Lighten up people! It was a joke

Actually, you need to lighten up, since all of us are laughing and joking with each other. Seriously.

 

[graceanne]

Withholding oral sex can lead to breast cancer! I read that somewhere...

Huh. I think I won't mention this to K. I don't mind, but it sure doesn't turn my buttons like some of you pervs.

 

[subish2009]

Mmm, I'm really trying to decide who would suffer most from the with holding of oral sex. And I do think it would be me. And not even because I would get spanked!

QFT!!

 

[gaius7]

Actually, you need to lighten up, since all of us are laughing and joking with each other. Seriously.

Sorry, clearly i shouldn't be posting before i've had my coffee.

But getting back to the original topic, getting him hot and bothered and then telling him that she'll only use her mouth if he "asks nicely" is probably a good place for her to start. It's soooo much easier for guys to expand their comfort zone if they have an erection.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Communication is the first and most important thing. If he still is not interested though, it sort of goes against what you want to entertain ways of getting, tricking, or bribing him into being what you think you want him to be. If you begin using tactics aimed at geting the results you want, you are then the one playing the dominant role, not the submissive one you say you wish to. You could perhaps point him in the direction of a couple of stories here which work for you and see how he reacts. Maybe he just needs something to tweek his desires.

Catalina

 

[DVS]

I am 23 and have been with my husband for 6 years. I have more recently tried to express interest BDSM and anal play but he seems uncomfortable when I try to talk about it. I think he is a little weirded out by my changing needs and I haven't been able to get him to try anything new yet. I was wondering if anyone had any ideas on how I can get my husband interested in being my master, or atleast a little more willing to try new things?

These things take time. Something new also be weird. Keep talking to him and be sure he knows how much you'd enjoy it.

Both of you should get together and read about this and talk it over. And like Catalina says, find erotic stories that include your fetish and see if you can spark his desire that way.

And posting threads like this will also let him know your requests are not that uncommon. I'm sure some of his best friends have wives with interests similar to yours, but he just doesn't know it.