Unfortunately, we barely had the time to know ye.

[brokenbrainwave]

The bottom line you are not supposed to bury your babies. This is wrong, and there is not one reason anyone can give that explains the whys.

A good friend of the wifeys has a little boy of 9 whom has a brain tumor. He is in the last moments of his all to short life. No hope, no chance, nothing can be done except to let him die in his own bed. His family will watch their son take his last breath, fighting to hold on, wanting so very bad to survive. His mom and dad are in a state of acceptance knowing their babies pain shall be over soon. His brother understands his playmate, his bedroom buddy, his only sibling will soon no longer be sitting beside him when he watches saturday morning cartoons. His extended family is gathering from across the nation to mourn a passing together, as they should.

When told the news of his rapid downturn I spent the day in a fog simply wanting to grab my own two sons by the necks and hold on for dear life. Knowing all to damn well but for the grace of God, fate, luck, whatever that could be me preparing to bury one of my babies. I've almost lost my oldest once. I've watched him fighting for his every breath. I've known the uncertainty of wondering if I was going to leave the hospital with my child in a blanket or in a tiny casket. My heart breaks for the family for at least I had hope. They have nothing but a broken beaten little boy whom body has betrayed him. Dreaming of one last birthday or christmas knowing there is no chance barring some miracle.

The one thought that permeates my mind as I set here wanting to cry holding my youngest son is you are not supposed to bury your babies. Uh Uh nope no way. Thats as messed up as it gets in life.

 

[Andreina]

there is something seriously wrong when parents have to bury their children

 

[PepperminTrish]

*hugs*
There's nothing more that I can say Sweetie ............ my heart goes out to that family and I pray that they'll find the strength to somehow carry them through this all.

 

[ksmybuttons]

This is the most frightening thing I have read today. My son is still sleeping, but I know I will give him an extra hug.

Hugs to you and your friends.

 

[someplace]

RE: Parents should not bury their babies

This is very true BBW. There are folks right here on this board with seriously ill children, living with great dignity in order to make every day precious for their little ones, knowing this might happen. They are such an incredible inspiration to me and make any problems in my life seem so insignificant.

 

[Killswitch]

My best friends wife had a baby two weeks ago. He has been in NICU since, with heart problems and internal organ issues. His stomach is way up in his chest. They are going to operate, but cant get "Owen" stable yet. Brad and Kara are hanging tough on the outside, but she niether one of them has held the baby yet, and the baby hasnt cried yet either.

It's day to day.

Joy and I bought all kinds of baby clothes and blankets and stuff, and I had the guys at work sign a card. I hope Owen gets to wear the outfits, and they get to hold thier son.

I'll never know what it feels like to have a child of my own....I can only imagine.

 

[T.J. Jackson]

I have not the words to express my emotions for this thread. All I can say is this......


Peace.

 

[brokenbrainwave]

I was just sitting out on my front porch looking at one of my dogwood trees in full bloom. Majestic, beautiful, in its peak moment of perfection. All to soon the white blooms will be gone. The only reminder left, its green leaves yearning for a new spring so the red buds can once again share their splendor.

In the back yard a bradford has already lost its battle with mother nature. Two short weeks ago it was the leader. Limbs long, drooping with gorgeous, fragile flowers begging for people to gaze and behold. In one fell swoop winds took it from something back to just another tree now naked besides leaves.

Spring is a time of hope. Spring is a time of beauty. I was married in the spring of 90 in the spring of my life. 13 years later I am entering my summer. I am reminded of a song line today.
"as he ordered one last round he said I guess we can't complain. God made life a gamble son, and we're still in the game."

 

[BlueDaisy]

BBW and KS....I am so sorry for both of you. I've got a 9 year old son who has medical problems and will likely require a kidney transplant in the future, but for now, thank God he is doing well.

My prayers will be with you and your friends.

 

[MsSpellChecker]

My heart goes out to those who lose their children. Just recently a 15-yr-old boy was beaten to death about 4 blocks from my mom's house. It was a case of mistaken identity. When my cousin died at the age of 17 I took it harder than any other death I have ever encountered. Burying ones child(ren) is wrong. I pray for those that have to suffer that awful fate.


Love your kids a lil extra. Hug you lil ones for those that cannot hug their own.

 

[Cleopatra]

I'm hugging my two perfectly-made children so much tighter today bbw, and praying for this baby.

 

[hornylady]

All I can say is 'amen' to all the things said above - my 7 year-old daughter's friend died of cancer 2 years ago, and I can remember looking at our 3 and feeling that any problems we had just paled into insignificance next to a loss like that.

 

[brokenbrainwave]

Tiny soldiers for whom we pray
Allow them to have just one more day
Fate is unrellenting so very cruel unkind
We love them for no matter how short of a time
Holding their bodies ravaged from within
Longing for a miracle instead of this sin
Fighting a battle at a much to tender year
Never losing sight never showing fear
They are the true heros troopers in a storm
While their life is taken from them the future it is shorn
Battling trying with all their weary might
Forgetting their weakness as they fight this one last fight

 

[Mia62]

My cousin drowned when she was 3. My grandfather and my uncle were both home. She knew she was NEVER to go into the pool gates...but for some reason that day she did. It is believed that she tripped and hit her head so she couldn't cry out for help. She would have been 40 this year.

 

[bobsgirl]

BBW, I am so sorry for the pain and despair these parents are feeling, and for your sadness. Good friends of ours lost their 20-year-old son very suddenly 2 1/2 months ago. One day he was fine, and a few days later he was in Intensive Care on life support from meningitis. Finally, they had to let him go. It broke their hearts, and everything..everything pales in comparison to such a loss. They will be recovering from it for the rest of their lives.
I can only pray that, in time, memories of their child will bring a smile along with a tear.

bg

 

[JadeEyes]

I don't know how to reply here, but this thread touched me. I will say a prayer for these two babies and their families.

You aren't supposed to bury your babies. I think I'm going to get my boys a little early from school and take them out for ice cream or something. I'm so grateful they are healthy and here to drive me a little crazy each day.

 

[brokenbrainwave]

An open letter to those who have responded

Thank you. I knew this thread would not get a lot of play. I did not post it so that it would. I suppose I just needed a reminder that through all the shit this world tosses us there are good decent folks that would roll in horse shit with their babies if that was the last hope they had. I am in no way implying that anyone that choose not to respond is not a good person. Most folks use this outlet as a happy place, an escape from the mundane. To fight, argue, love, make friends. We all have our reasons.

The responses brought a smile to my face in an otherwise shitty time in my life. Once again, thank you all.

 

[Freya]

BBW.

I'm so sorry.

 

[ohblueyedlady]

brokenbrainwave and everyone,

I read this thread earlier and after reading it I had to leave for a bit. It was very difficult to make a reply because I can understand how you all are feeling at this time.

When a child suffers or when another family member is in pain there is nothing we'd like more than to be able to wave a magic wand and make it all better. Many nights I cried and offered my own life so that my child would be able to see the light of another morning.

My heart goes out to all who suffer in this way. I'm very sorry.

 

[paganangel]

no god

 

[Cheyenne]

I'm in my 40s and every so often talk about death with my mom. I've told her what I want in terms of being cremated and which family member has agreed to spread my ashes for me. Her only response is always the same- she doesn't want to be around when I die because moms are not supposed to outlive their children. She doesn't want to even think about it even now, and I've had a good life. I can't imagine the pain of a parent dealing with the death of a young child.

 

[BgMma]

I know of people who have had to bury their children......I am one, in a way.

It's a pain that no person should have to go through. I would rather die myself than feel that way again.

 

[Guest]

No-one can tell me these things are sent to make us stronger. (Our clergyman said this to me grieving sister - who still attends church). We need the strength before it happens - not as a result.

Very sad for that family. Life just isn't fair.

 

[marksgirl]

This is the only thread at Lit that ever made me really cry.

 

[Skandalon]

peace

As one who's buried too many good friends, my parents, my favorite sister in the not too recent past, all I can say is that I wish you peace. I'm there with you. Thank God my two son are well.