Understanding People

[Monazwx]

This may get moved to the General Board, but I feel it should be posted here. I'm not a psychologist, or even a psych student, but today I had some prominent musings about people. I guess these are things I can't grasp, and in a way I am searching for how I can relate.

*Why would anyone want to intentionally destroy the happiness of another?

Misery likes company.

*Why are people so frightened of being honest, when the consequences of lying are so much worse.

Denial, thinking that they won't get caught.

*Why must we see each other as fundamentally different to the extent that we can no longer communicate or cooperate?

?? Beats me.

*What is it in us that allows us to believe we can achieve anything if we work hard enough, but nothing will change no matter how hard we try?

Nothing changes?

*Why do people fix their televisions before they fix their families?

We wanna watch the TV.

*How can a person be so blind to walk over the poverty-stricken, deaf to the cries of the suffering, and so outspoken about celebrity relationships?

Media coverage.

*Why would anyone wake up in the morning and try to make it through another day they didn't intend to remember?

To make it to payday. I do.

 

[fsumusic1981]

Magic Fingers... the book "A Civil Action" is real life. It really happened. A subsidiary of WR Grace really poured cancer-causing chemicals on their land in Woburn, Massachusetts. The chemicals really seeped through the ground and into the town's water supply. People in the town really got leukemia and people really died. It really happened. It's a good book. I suggested you watch the movie if you don't have the time or inclination to read the book. It's a great movie and you just might end up reading the book afterwards.

And a general question to everyone, even though it is a little off topic. But we're thinking about these questions, so I'll ask it anyways. Why is it that people see the roots of problems are being *our* fault, rooted in humanity itself? Is it not possible that many of our problems are caused by the structure of our economic system, which creates our culture/society, and in turn us?

Just a thought

-Peace

 

[UnseenChagrin]

Couldn't it also be argued that the economic system is a by-product of "us"? The structure reflects humanity's values and perceptions of need, rather than intrinsic, less-understood values and needs.

I suppose it could also be argued that the system at once was a true reflection of society and has not sufficiently changed as society has changed. Thus causing more problems.

And in regards to the religious aspects of the discussion:
I think it's wonderful if you found a religion that you can connect with. I think it's wonderful if it gives you meaning to life and helps you achieve your goals. I think it's wonderful that there are so many religions around the world that do the same thing for different people. I think the ideas behind each religion have so much meaning and value.

I think it's horrendous that religion pits people against each other. I think it's horrendous that well-intentioned ideas turn into absolute beliefs that turn into "right" vs "wrong." I think it's horrendous that people can preach forgiveness and love, but will not talk to someone else because their God has a different name/face/book.

And on war (a topic on my mind today):
I just want to express my belief that war doesn't prove who's right or wrong; it only proves who is more powerful or who has the better weapons or tactics for destruction.

 

[capricious_chic]

*Why would anyone want to intentionally destroy the happiness of another?

There are many types of people that thrive on abolishing the happiness they see around them. A curt word, a negative attitude, etc. It is really a reflection of themselves and many people are so insecure and lacking in confidence that they will allow these types of people to infect them with their own unhappiness.


*Why are people so frightened of being honest, when the consequences of lying are so much worse.

The consequences are only worse if the lie is discovered. We learn early on to lie - little white lies that seem harmless, but see it in our every day lives.

*Why must we see each other as fundamentally different to the extent that we can no longer communicate or cooperate?

We are very different as individuals, as people, as nations, etc. Unless one can relate to another communication is very difficult. Ego plays a big part of this. Each party believes they are truly right - and they are in their own traditions and lifestyles.

*What is it in us that allows us to believe we can achieve anything if we work hard enough, but nothing will change no matter how hard we try?

Because everyone wants to believe in the fairy tale but then reality crashes in.

*Why do people fix their televisions before they fix their families?

Because there is only a problem when it directly effects you.

*How can a person be so blind to walk over the poverty-stricken, deaf to the cries of the suffering, and so outspoken about celebrity relationships?

Because it is easier to turn a blind eye to things that make you uncomfortable. People don't want to know about people suffering, thus the media portrays what they do want to see and hear - trivial things that seem unreal and more along the lines of fantasy.


*Why would anyone wake up in the morning and try to make it through another day they didn't intend to remember?

Because they don't see what they have and dwell on what they don't.

 

[watergirl]

Originally posted by UnseenChagrin

*Why would anyone want to intentionally destroy the happiness of another?

Misery loves company. Revenge. Anger. Hurt. Jealousy.

*Why are people so frightened of being honest, when the consequences of lying are so much worse.

Truth is hard. Euphimisms are everywhere. Politeness, getting along, don't rock the boat, whistle-blowers getting fired... Our society prefers tact to truth.


*Why must we see each other as fundamentally different to the extent that we can no longer communicate or cooperate?

We're told that we are individuals. You are special, you are unique, you are one of a kind. We can communicate and cooperate, but it requires us to change our self-important idea that we are unique and that our individuality and self-esteem must be respected and encouraged.

Media and advertising emphasize our differences - hair color, contact lenses, moisturizers - all for our unique skin types and heritages, exclusivity of us and how special we are... it's not like, "we are all part of this boy or girl scout troup, look at how we are the same," or "we all belong to such & such church, see us as a congregation of people with the same beliefs and values,"

*What is it in us that allows us to believe we can achieve anything if we work hard enough, but nothing will change no matter how hard we try?

Hope. Messages we were raised with - you can be anything, if you try hard enough. Do you want to be an astronaut, a lawyer, a doctor, president of the country, a singer, a movie star, a beauty pagent winner? No one wants their children to have work at K-Mart forever. I disagree with the end of your statement - things will change.

Think of the serenity prayer, which distills to - have the courage to change the things you can, the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.

You can lose weight, change jobs, leave the person who is not right for you - it takes determination and diligence and independence.

*Why do people fix their televisions before they fix their families?

That reflects their priorities. Sad, but in some cases true. Also, it is simpler to fix or replace a tv - that just takes money. Fixing a family takes the courage to speak and hear truths, and I covered that above.

*How can a person be so blind to walk over the poverty-stricken, deaf to the cries of the suffering, and so outspoken about celebrity relationships?

Selective hearing.

*Why would anyone wake up in the morning and try to make it through another day they didn't intend to remember?

C'mon... who was it that said, "most men lead lives of quite desparation" - anyone, anyone?

 

[Nemasis Enforcer]

*Why are people so frightened of being honest, when the consequences of lying are so much worse.

Because a lie is a great way of feeling in controle over something, You can make it up as you go and so change anything you want about the situation,
When your honest others tend to know the truth too and you lose the controle of a lie.
Lies are very powerful things when you feel and convice yourself you can get away with them.

Hope that help's

 

[UnseenChagrin]

Here's a musing, though not as deep as the others...

Why do people continue habits that they know are bad and sometimes even incredibly dangerous?

And a side note to that, how do you stop?