Unapproachable?

[Freya]

Re: Another Thought

The approachability of one is directly proportional to how open they themselves are to being approached. Open and honest people.....like intrigued...are always easiest for me to approach. However, being that I am open and quite approachable, rarely do I ever think twice about approaching someone else.


As for fear of rejection, I do not. I figure that anyone who rejects my approach to be missing the company of one of the finest people I have ever met....ME!!!

A positive attitude is a good think!!!

I agree with this. I have always been extremely shy in group situations, and have fairly poor self esteem as well, so I tended to hand by the wall, not speaking to anyone, not making eye contact...and guess what? I never got approached by men....well, unless they were totally drunk! Now I am starting to feel a bit better about myself, have a bit more confidence and am able to make eye contact (and my friend tells me I even flirt, which was a total shocker to me!)...so I do a bit more often get approached by actual sober men. However, I still tend to clam up and get nervous...and because of this inability to chatter incessantly and be Miss Bubbly Bounce..I have been told I look unapproachable. In actual fact, half the time I'd like nothing more than to be approached but I guess shyness oftentimes is confused with bitchiness or rudeness.

However, on here I am able to be more open and chatty...and I do get messages quite often from men saying things like, "Well you must have guys all around you all the time, so you wouldn't want to hear from me but.."

I think Intrigued pegged it perfectly when she stated that people have preconceived notions, and they allow them to dictate their actions. People assume things based on beauty or apparent popularity that may not be correct. Your friend might just have to take the bull by the horns and approach those who interest her, rather than waiting for them to do it.

 

[intrigued]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: My Thoughts

*winking*Then woman get out the toys and get those shimmerings put down!

I had to put the toys away briefly, I am a bit sore.





LL, it has been very easy between us, huh? We are so much alike, and we think very openly, and behave the same. Its a good thing.

Thank you dear, you are giving me way too many smiles lately...

 

[Lovepotion69]

I'm not unapproachable I don't think....but at the same time it's a new thing for me. I'm used to being the one approaching...

I was never apprached in Sweden. It wasn't until I got to England that guys even started to notice me, I still haven't gotten used to it. The thought of a guy being interested in me before even being my friend for a longer period first somehow just hasn't gotten round to me. It's weird to picture.

Sometime I do wonder what type of impression I give to people, and of course to men...

I have a friend who's unapproachable,but I think it's because she just doesn't seem very open. She has a wall around her, she's very protective of herself, she keeps people at a distance. I don't think guys dare getting closer to her because of this, and I feel bad as I know she has been sad about it. She wonders why nobody wants her, or seems to be interested in her.
She's very scared of ending up alone, and even more now since her bf broke up with her a year ago. She felt that nobody wanted her before, and then she met him, and they were together for 1.5 year. The breakup was hard on her. Now she thinks nobody will fall for her again, after all, they didn't before...
I wish I could make her open up more than she has.She's opened up a lot,but people can still sense that wall..

/LP

 

[bknight2602]

Re: Re: Another Thought

I agree with this. I have always been extremely shy in group situations, and have fairly poor self esteem as well, so I tended to hand by the wall, not speaking to anyone, not making eye contact...and guess what? I never got approached by men....well, unless they were totally drunk! Now I am starting to feel a bit better about myself, have a bit more confidence and am able to make eye contact (and my friend tells me I even flirt, which was a total shocker to me!)...so I do a bit more often get approached by actual sober men. However, I still tend to clam up and get nervous...and because of this inability to chatter incessantly and be Miss Bubbly Bounce..I have been told I look unapproachable. In actual fact, half the time I'd like nothing more than to be approached but I guess shyness oftentimes is confused with bitchiness or rudeness.

However, on here I am able to be more open and chatty...and I do get messages quite often from men saying things like, "Well you must have guys all around you all the time, so you wouldn't want to hear from me but.."

I think Intrigued pegged it perfectly when she stated that people have preconceived notions, and they allow them to dictate their actions. People assume things based on beauty or apparent popularity that may not be correct. Your friend might just have to take the bull by the horns and approach those who interest her, rather than waiting for them to do it.

True, Freya, you never know what you're missing if you don't take a chance. But there is always that nagging doubt, if/when brushed off. Having self confidence will abate those feelings though.

 

[Freya]

Re: Re: Re: Another Thought

True, Freya, you never know what you're missing if you don't take a chance. But there is always that nagging doubt, if/when brushed off. Having self confidence will abate those feelings though.

Thing is, sometimes the ones considered the most beautiful have the least self confidence. I have basically zero myself, although at times I manage to find a stash at the bottom of a Miller Genuine Draft bottle.......not that I am in any way beautiful.....but I know some people who are that just don't see it in themselves...and others who are not attractive who think they are beautiful. Shit, now that was a run-on sentence of monstrous proportions!

 

[Laurel]

I get approached regularly. I'm a smallish person, and I smile a lot, so I think I come across as passive & inoffensive...which is funny, because I'm neither.

 

[Freya]

I get approached regularly. I'm a smallish person, and I smile a lot, so I think I come across as passive & inoffensive...which is funny, because I'm neither.

Small women do get approached more. I'm almost 6 ft tall and somewhat big boned..so maybe I intimidate men...who the fuck knows? They should write a book on it so we can all figure it out.

 

[superlittlegirl]

I get approached regularly. I'm a smallish person, and I smile a lot, so I think I come across as passive & inoffensive...which is funny, because I'm neither.

I've never ever imagined you as aggressive and offensive, but I have to admit, it's turning me on.

--Freya

 

[Jim_Henson]

I'm unnaproachable.

Its getting past a joke.

 

[bknight2602]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Another Thought

Thing is, sometimes the ones considered the most beautiful have the least self confidence. I have basically zero myself, although at times I manage to find a stash at the bottom of a Miller Genuine Draft bottle.......not that I am in any way beautiful.....but I know some people who are that just don't see it in themselves...and others who are not attractive who think they are beautiful. Shit, now that was a run-on sentence of monstrous proportions!

This kinda reminds me of me many years ago. I lusted/longed for female companionship, but only the best looking ones. Being a tall skinny geeky type I did not fare well, as you could well imagine. On a business trip I met a woman about twenty or so years older than myself. She was not a 10, but she was nice and fun to be with. We finally ended up in bed where she taught me about love and sexual feelings, that I had been missing in my previous marriage. She taught me that as you have been saying, beauty is skin deep, but the person goes beyond that superficial image.
Since that time I I don't "go after" the 10's anymore, and have gained a lot of self confidence, and am a lot more successful with meeting new people. I didn't mean for this to ramble, but if it happened to me it can to you. Love Ya.

 

[Laurel]

I've never ever imagined you as aggressive and offensive, but I have to admit, it's turning me on.

--Freya

Oooh!

 

[Rambrat]

Small women do get approached more. I'm almost 6 ft tall and somewhat big boned..so maybe I intimidate men...who the fuck knows? They should write a book on it so we can all figure it out.

See...it's the opposite with men...taller men get approached more.

 

[intrigued]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Another Thought

This kinda reminds me of me many years ago. I lusted/longed for female companionship, but only the best looking ones. Being a tall skinny geeky type I did not fare well, as you could well imagine. On a business trip I met a woman about twenty or so years older than myself. She was not a 10, but she was nice and fun to be with. We finally ended up in bed where she taught me about love and sexual feelings, that I had been missing in my previous marriage. She taught me that as you have been saying, beauty is skin deep, but the person goes beyond that superficial image.
Since that time I I don't "go after" the 10's anymore, and have gained a lot of self confidence, and am a lot more successful with meeting new people. I didn't mean for this to ramble, but if it happened to me it can to you. Love Ya.

Yes, this just goes to show what can happen if we dig a little deeper, and then share those discoveries with that person. A little positive feedback goes a very long way....
I would much rather be with someone of substance and passion, than Mr. GQ, as a physical attraction alone, without that emotional/mental charge, equates to masturbation for me.
Well, OK, maybe a little bit nicer than masturbation, but like masturbation, its momentary pleasure....

bk, THIS is rambling, you are fine.

 

[intrigued]

See...it's the opposite with men...taller men get approached more.

I'm sorry this has been your experience, but its not that way for me at all. I don't have a "type" that attracts me, actually I'm a bit of an "attraction slut", in that so many men attract me, for so many different reasons. In my youner day, i was a very wild child and knew many, many men, and dear, there was never this tall/short thing going on, and I really don't think any of us are that rigid. If a man attracted me, it was for much more than his height, or lack thereof....
I think what we do to ourselves, the way we beat ourselves up and convince ourselves to believe a certain way, is so detrimental to us. (Aren't I proof of that...?)

 

[Rambrat]

I'm sorry this has been your experience, but its not that way for me at all. I don't have a "type" that attracts me, actually I'm a bit of an "attraction slut", in that so many men attract me, for so many different reasons. In my youner day, i was a very wild child and knew many, many men, and dear, there was never this tall/short thing going on, and I really don't think any of us are that rigid. If a man attracted me, it was for much more than his height, or lack thereof....
I think what we do to ourselves, the way we beat ourselves up and convince ourselves to believe a certain way, is so detrimental to us. (Aren't I proof of that...?)

Oh....I've never had any problems. Get to know me and I grow on ya.

One of the reasons woman choose taller/big men is because they feel more protected. I have that covered. I have convinced myself that 5' 7" is medium height. I think it's perfect. Though, let's say, Awesome mat think that's too short...I wouldn't have a problem with someone taller.

My problem has been trying to stay unattached...

you are so sweet...I could just eat you up!

 

[Georgia Girl]

Oh....I've never had any problems. Get to know me and I grow on ya.

One of the reasons woman choose taller/big men is because they feel more protected. I have that covered.

Actually dollface I have to agree with you that your height is perfect for numerous reasons.

* don't have to stand on anything to kiss you and you don't have to kill your back bending down all the time since doing it often is a prerequisite.

* is the sexual arena, certain things are somewhat easier for people of comparable heights

* when hugging my head fits right there in the crook of your neck where I can breath in the scent of you and enjoy the taste of your skin while feeling your strength

All told your 5'7" is perfect but then I think you are pretty durn wonderful too.

Have a good day sweetness.

Dawn

 

[Rambrat]

Actually dollface I have to agree with you that your height is perfect for numerous reasons.

* don't have to stand on anything to kiss you and you don't have to kill your back bending down all the time since doing it often is a prerequisite.

* is the sexual arena, certain things are somewhat easier for people of comparable heights

* when hugging my head fits right there in the crook of your neck where I can breath in the scent of you and enjoy the taste of your skin while feeling your strength

All told your 5'7" is perfect but then I think you are pretty durn wonderful too.

Have a good day sweetness.

Dawn

Hiya beautiful...

See...5' 7" is perfect....I knew it.

*laughing* I like your explanation...

 

[Georgia Girl]

Hiya beautiful...

See...5' 7" is perfect....I knew it.

*laughing* I like your explanation...

I'm glad you like it, its acurate.

but then ....... nah nah boo boo....... I get to go see Mickey Mouse

 

[intrigued]

Oh....I've never had any problems. Get to know me and I grow on ya.

One of the reasons woman choose taller/big men is because they feel more protected. I have that covered. I have convinced myself that 5' 7" is medium height. I think it's perfect. Though, let's say, Awesome mat think that's too short...I wouldn't have a problem with someone taller.

My problem has been trying to stay unattached...

you are so sweet...I could just eat you up!

Dear, I thought I was doing a pretty good job of trying to get to know you, no?

Thank you, I could eat you up, too....

Incidentally, I'm 5'3.

 

[Rambrat]

but then ....... nah nah boo boo....... I get to go see Mickey Mouse

color me...JEALOUS!!!!

 

[Rambrat]

Dear, I thought I was doing a pretty good job of trying to get to know you, no?

Thank you, I could eat you up, too....

Incidentally, I'm 5'3.

You are dear...you are...

and I'm taller than you...

 

[bknight2602]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Another Thought

Yes, this just goes to show what can happen if we dig a little deeper, and then share those discoveries with that person. A little positive feedback goes a very long way....
I would much rather be with someone of substance and passion, than Mr. GQ, as a physical attraction alone, without that emotional/mental charge, equates to masturbation for me.
Well, OK, maybe a little bit nicer than masturbation, but like masturbation, its momentary pleasure....

bk, THIS is rambling, you are fine.

No I think we are both fine!