Umm...questions.

[curiouslez84]

So...I've been thinking about checking this forum out of late. Just out of curiosity, mind. I'm wondering: is BDSM really all it's cracked up to be? I mean, really...

I have lots of fun when my g/f pinches my nipples - it sends pleasant little shocks all through my body ^_^ - but how can women get off on pain? I just don't get it.

So...is it all it's cracked up to be? And what's it like, being a dom? What's it like being a sub? My g/f doesn't know anything about BDSM, and I've never really learned anything about it...never been exposed to it, really. So...I guess I'm just a little curious, now...

 

[HottieMama]

So...I've been thinking about checking this forum out of late. Just out of curiosity, mind. I'm wondering: is BDSM really all it's cracked up to be? I mean, really...

I have lots of fun when my g/f pinches my nipples - it sends pleasant little shocks all through my body ^_^ - but how can women get off on pain? I just don't get it.

How can women get off on oral sex? It's a pleasant diversion for me, but it's all but impossible to make me orgasm from it. The point i am trying to make is that it is different for everyone. Erotic pain taps into a "part" of me that "regular" sex doesn't. It is a "need" for me, in that it enhances and magnifies any arousal and the release it causes is VERY powerful.

So...is it all it's cracked up to be? And what's it like, being a dom? What's it like being a sub? My g/f doesn't know anything about BDSM, and I've never really learned anything about it...never been exposed to it, really. So...I guess I'm just a little curious, now...

For me...yes, it's all it's cracked up to be....however, to each their own. As for what it's like to be a sub...Ehhh...can't explain it...It's just who i am.

Sorry i wasn't more help...

 

[curiouslez84]

That's okay..does anyone else have input?

 

[myinnerslut]

yes, it worth it

 

[curiouslez84]

Maybe, but that didn't really answer my questions:

What's it like being a sub?

What's it like being a dom?

 

[LadyAria]

http://sendthemcookies.com/s/images/chocolate_chip_cookie_bitten.jpg

 

[AndrewKay]

mmm cookies.

 

[curiouslez84]

Uh...could you please answer the questions if you're going to post here?

I'm just trying to find out some info on the BDSM lifestyle, since I don't really know anything about it...trying to understand it, you might say.

Actually, I understand the bondage thing to an extent...I like being tied up and cuffed to the bed while my g/f fucks me. But the rest of it...I don't know.

 

[LadyAria]

http://www.myhomecooking.net/chocolate-chip-cookies/images/chocolate-chip-cookies.jpg

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Uh...could you please answer the questions if you're going to post here?

I'm just trying to find out some info on the BDSM lifestyle, since I don't really know anything about it...trying to understand it, you might say.

Actually, I understand the bondage thing to an extent...I like being tied up and cuffed to the bed while my g/f fucks me. But the rest of it...I don't know.

it's all about what works for you. i used to think i knew where exactly i fit into this lifestyle, but i'm going through something right now that has made me question myself. you ask what it's like to be a 'sub' or a 'Dom' but that is not a question that is easy to answer, because for most of us, it's just who we are, a part of us, and not something that we can explain. so i'm not sure how many posts you're going to get that will answer the questions you've asked.

 

[curiouslez84]

Well...let me ask it a different way, then:

What is it that you like about being a sub or a dom?

What is it that you dislike about being a sub or a dom?

Kind of the same thing, I guess...

 

[LadyAria]

http://www.cookies-in-motion.com/images/chocolate.jpg

 

[LadyAria]

http://atkinsfarms.com/store/media/cake-8inch.jpg

 

[neonflux]

http://www.cookies-in-motion.com/images/chocolate.jpg

LadyAria, are you implying that chocolate is the answer to everything? Neon

 

[skittles_lm]

Maybe, but that didn't really answer my questions:

What's it like being a sub?

What's it like being a dom?

power. plain and simple power is what it's like. The one feels enough trust and has the strength to give up some personal power to someone who wants it, will use it wisely, needs that kind of control... and both get off on it.

It's worth it. I'll never go back to a vanilla relationship. I need this.

 

[neonflux]

Well...let me ask it a different way, then:

What is it that you like about being a sub or a dom?

What is it that you dislike about being a sub or a dom?

Kind of the same thing, I guess...

Shall I call you curious or Lez? Not dom or sub but switch. I suspect that you're not getting a lot of responses because the question is so broad, and if you have been lurking here, as you suggest, you must have already gotten some indication about what people get out of it from reading some of the more serious threads in the main BDSM forum.

I would turn your questions around. You have suggested that there are some aspects of BDSM that you're curious about and even aroused by. What might those be? What have YOU gotten out of your "small experimentations"? How has that "excited" your curiousity? What have YOU learned about what folks get out of their play from reading some of the other threads on these boards?

Neon

 

[skittles_lm]

Shall I call you curious or Lez? Not dom or sub but switch. I suspect that you're not getting a lot of responses because the question is so broad, and if you have been lurking here, as you suggest, you must have already gotten some indication about what people get out of it from reading some of the more serious threads in the main BDSM forum.

I would turn your questions around. You have suggested that there are some aspects of BDSM that you're curious about and even aroused by. What might those be? What have YOU gotten out of your "small experimentations"? How has that "excited" your curiousity? What have YOU learned about what folks get out of their play from reading some of the other threads on these boards?

Neon

you're so smart. I wish I'd found you when I was a newbie...

Lord, listen to me! I need a penant or something!

Go Neon!

 

[Sir_Winston54]

First, welcome.

Second, let me refer you to the BDSM Forum Library, which has literally hundreds of references to many subjects relating to BDSM.

Third, when I get back from running a couple of errands, I'll repost some of Evil_Geoff's favorite reference links, which along with the Library might provide you with enough information to ask questions specific enough that people will be more able to answer, or more comfortable answering.

 

[curiouslez84]

power. plain and simple power is what it's like. The one feels enough trust and has the strength to give up some personal power to someone who wants it, will use it wisely, needs that kind of control... and both get off on it.

It's worth it. I'll never go back to a vanilla relationship. I need this.

Um...what's a vanilla relationship? 0_0

 

[curiouslez84]

Shall I call you curious or Lez? Not dom or sub but switch. I suspect that you're not getting a lot of responses because the question is so broad, and if you have been lurking here, as you suggest, you must have already gotten some indication about what people get out of it from reading some of the more serious threads in the main BDSM forum.

I would turn your questions around. You have suggested that there are some aspects of BDSM that you're curious about and even aroused by. What might those be? What have YOU gotten out of your "small experimentations"? How has that "excited" your curiousity? What have YOU learned about what folks get out of their play from reading some of the other threads on these boards?

Neon

Well, mainly I think of the bondage aspect of it. Like when I get tied up and cuffed, and then my g/f fucks me like that...

But I don't know if that actually goes into dom/sub, or if that's just bondage sex...or what.

I guess I'm just kind of curious, like I said. I wanna understand how people feel when they do these things before I try them with Brianna and find out I don't like them...

 

[curiouslez84]

First, welcome.

Second, let me refer you to the BDSM Forum Library, which has literally hundreds of references to many subjects relating to BDSM.

Third, when I get back from running a couple of errands, I'll repost some of Evil_Geoff's favorite reference links, which along with the Library might provide you with enough information to ask questions specific enough that people will be more able to answer, or more comfortable answering.

Okay, thanks...and I'll check out the library in just a bit, then...

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Okay, so my brain was already in the car when I made that last post - it should have said, "...some of CutieMouse's reference links," instead of EG's.

Here's a list of checklists from the BDSM library (some links might be broken):

http://ms.ha.md.us/~tammad/over21/b...-checklist.html
http://smvillage.com/Modules/checklist2/default.asp
http://www.asubmissivesjourney.com/bdsm_checklist.html
http://members.aol.com/MasterNik/BDSMCheckList.html
http://www.domsubfriends.com/library/question1.shtml
http://www.sexuality.org/l/bdsm/checklst.html

The New Bottoming Book and The New Topping Book are both good starters for a kink friendly library, IMO; they can be found at amazon.com or through the publisher at www.greenerypress.com.

Asking questions on the forum, and joining threads to discuss various topics can be helpful, as well- there really aren't any stupid questions, so if you think of something you're curious about, just ask.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

I wanna understand how people feel when they do these things before I try them with Brianna and find out I don't like them...

I genuinely suspect how other people feel is going to be a poor term of reference as a prediction to receptive outcomes in regards to any exploration you may partake with your partner.

Perhaps when you have availed yourself to some of the numerous links that have been so generously provided in several posts above , something may resonate to you. Then you may have the opportunity to return with more specific cognizant questions . All of which I have no doubt will be considered with sincerity by members of the Board.

Best of luck with your reading , there is much treasure to be found

 

[curiouslez84]

Well, I couldn't get to the first two links. It kept saying the page couldn't be displayed. But for the third link...the list...I've done about a third to a half of the stuff on there with Brianna, and some of it I wouldn't do, some of it I'd be willing to try...sounds interesting. I'll definitely keep that link in mind.

You know...actually...I wouldn't mind wearing a collar and having Brianna hold my leash...in public or in private. *Blush.* It'd be almost...sweet. ^_^

*Ahem.*

But yeah...still checking out the links...

I also couldn't get into the fourth link...but the two checklists should be useful, and the last link might prove an interesting read, too...thanks.

 

[curiouslez84]

And yeah, Rebecca...you're probably right on that, I guess...