Um.... "mature ejaculation?"

[horgasm]

I have a bit of a problem. I just got out of a 3-year, completely monogamous relationship, and we didn't use condoms for about the last 2.5 years of it. (Before you ask, we used other birth control methods, and were both squeaky clean.) I always prided myself on the fact that I could last more than long enough in bed, but now I'm out of that relationship.

Here's my issue: I can't cum with a condom on. I've tried other brands, I've tried polyurethane, lubing it up, different positions, speeding up, slowing down, everything. I get hard, I stay hard, but I find it extremely difficult to achieve orgasm. Without the condom, no problem. But put it on, and it's like putting boxing gloves on my cock. I can't feel a thing. Now that I'm back on the market, as it were, going bareback isn't going to be an option for a while.

Any suggestions? Anything I could try?

 

[tortuou5]

have you tried lubing the inside of the condom? apply a little at the tip before you put it on.

 

[pplwatching]

Any suggestions? Anything I could try?

You are not alone. My wife and I had been on this roller coaster for years. We started with condoms. When we wanted to get pregnant we stopped using them. After kids we used them for a while then switched to oral contraceptives. When those started messing with her body we went back to condoms. Then we went to the IUD. Then when that failed it was back to condoms. As I got older I had more difficulty climaxing after switching back to condoms each time.

I found that if we spent a lot more time with foreplay, and getting me very aroused I could 'tolerate' condoms. Foreplay used to be all about getting her aroused. It took a little mental adjustment to make it 'about me too'. Handjobs, blowjobs, titjobs, anything to get the stimulation well underway before I put the condom on would help.

I never tried lubing the inside of the condom, but now that my wife has had a hysterectomy I'll never get to try that.

 

[SweetErika]

I agree, put a couple of drops of lube in the tip before you roll it on to increase sensation.

You can also use condoms when you masturbate. It might take a bit to get over the block, but if you only allow yourself to come with a condom on, you'll get used to that feeling and come eventually.

If finances are a concern, Planned Parenthood is a very inexpensive source for condoms. Your local health department might provide them at little or no cost, too. When we run low, I usually go to the local PP and either pay what we can afford (which is more than they charge) or give them a donation every other time.

 

[horgasm]

I tried some lube in the condom, didn't help. Here's hoping the new ultra-sooper-dooper thin ones work!

 

[angela24]

Any suggestions? Anything I could try?

Oral sex

 

[Carnevil9]

Since getting hard is not the problem, why don't you screw your wife until she is satisfied, then take off the condom and let her stroke/suck you to completion?

 

[SweetErika]

Since getting hard is not the problem, why don't you screw your wife until she is satisfied, then take off the condom and let her stroke/suck you to completion?

I'm guessing because the OP said he just got out of a committed, monogamous relationship and he's concerned about using condoms with future partners.

 

[SumLightCat]

Oh, condoms. Don't talk to me about them. You can at least stay hard with a condom, when I get one one I'm looking at an 80% wilt rate over a period of five minutes.

 

[duright]

I agree and have a hard time cumming when wearing a condom. I am guessing it is a sensitivity issue.

 

[horgasm]

Well, I had sex. With a condom. I think I broke my streak, because I friggin' exploded. WOO HOO! So, lubed the condom, used a thin, non-latex condom, doggy style.

 

[CabbageRose]

Perhaps the problem was more situational than condom-related?

Kudos to you for having recognized that the use of condoms is a good thing!

 

[irishwoody]

I sometimes used to use condom just to slow things down a bit.. Took a long time before I learned to control the urge to go pop given the extra stimulation...

 

[LaRocha]

This seems a little too psychosomatic. I usually like when there are mechanical explanations. I assume you've tried the ultra thins? The new ones that are shaped funny so it feels like nothing's there? I don't think those will help you. You're telling yourself that you can't achieve orgasm with a condom on. It's a barrier to your pleasure, you keep reinforcing that the condom is preventing your orgasm, that it's something more than a piece of latex around your dick. Only jerk off with a condom on until you're able to wear one and orgasm during sex. Train yourself to come with a condom on and beat the mental aspect.