UGH!! (sorry to mad to think of a good subject line!!)

[Naked Hunny]

The Story!!

A close friend of mine met a girl at a party. This girl stated that she was 18!! I thought she looked 18!! My friend started dating this girl which resulted in sex!! I know no big deal so far but wait theres more!! Well a few months ago he was presented with a warrant for his arrest for several counts Statutory Rape and Statutory Sex Offense. He honestly had no clue what the hell the officer was talking about!! Well apparently this 18 yr old girl was 14 and when her parents found out about their sexual relationship they decided to press charges!! Well now my friend is sitting in jail for three years because some lil horny bitch became a lil horny lying bitch. My friend had several witnesses at the trial stating that this girl also told them she was 18. Yes, me included!! Well the witnesses were to no effect so now i have to be without my close friend for a long time!! I still want to know why nothing was said to the girl about her lying about her age?? She put an innocent man in jail for three years because of it. He has to go three years without seeing his kids maybe more because when he is released he has to register as a child sex offender! I love my friend dearly but will someone be willing to help me murder a horny lying lil bitch?

 

[Whispersecret]

Horrible situation for your friend, but, um, you can't be serious. Sure, the girl is guilty, but she certainly doesn't deserve to be killed.

Just curious...didn't your friend suspect anything when he went to pick her up at her parents' house? At fourteen, I'm assuming she didn't drive to meet him...

 

[Bobtoad777]

post retracted


[Edited by bobtoad777 on 09-01-2000 at 06:38 PM]

 

[Naked Hunny]

Ok i thought the same thing at first about picking her up at her parents then i remembered that most of the time he picked her up at work!! She was only 14 but she was working at a small ice cream shop!! He probably didnt even give it second thought about picking her up and dropping her off we live in an area where there are more college students than actual residents so there are always people out morning noon and night!!
And for the record i dont really want her murdered i just think she isnt completely innocent!!

 

[Bonnie Wee Lassie]

[removed due to underage content]

I am sorry I do agree what she did was wrong but that is harsh! Two wrongs don't make a right. She made a mistake and unfortunatly your friend is paying the price. But saying she should be raped is wrong. She is a child and she is immature so that is why she acted that way. You guys have every right to be mad but talking about raping someone is not the way to go. Trust me I know.

Bobtodd I am disgusted and have lost alot of respect for you with that comment retracted or not!


[Edited by Bonnie Wee Lassie on 09-01-2000 at 10:00 PM]

 

[Never]

bobtoad:[removed due to underage content]

Bobtoad, that's just plain disturbing. I'm certain you thought it an amusing post and inteanded it purely as a joke the thought of 14 year olds being raped by five men is anything but in my eyes. In fact I find such comments tend to leave a nasty feel to the atmosphere.


Naked Hunny, I know you're angry but I think you're angry at the wrong person. I mean, the girl was 14. She might have looked older but I've never met a 14 year old that was even close to being a mature adult. Do you really think she did this maliciously? I'm thinking the last thing she wanted was for your friend to go to jail - she's a child and children tend to think things just breeze over.
Myself, I wonder what type of parents would drive a young girl to seek affection from someone so much older than her. I don't think having your boyfriend put on trial for raping you can be anything less than humiliating.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

[Bonnie Wee Lassie]

Thank god someone agrees with me. Thank you Never.

 

[Naked Hunny]

ok for the record i do not agree with what BobToad said whatsoever! When i said i wanted her murdered i was angry and hurt and it came out!! I am not the type of person who would wish or do that to anyone!!

Now i realize there has to be something behind that lil girl that is driving her to act this way but still my point is she lied to him!! If he would have known she was 14, he wouldnt have had anything to do with her!! But because of her lies to him, he is now paying for it!!

 

[Bonnie Wee Lassie]

Yes she did lie to him but he took her word and now he is paying the price. Was it just a one night stand??? Maybe your friend should have been more careful about who he sleeps with.
I would have to tell you that if it was my daughter I would do the same thing her parents did. You tell me that you wouldn't?

 

[Naked Hunny]

No actually it wasnt a one night stand they were together for almost 3 months!! All this girl ever told her parents was that he was older they at first assumed 18 well thats not that bad but when they found out he was 28 the shit hit the fan and thats when they got the police involved!! Honestly Bonnie i would hope my daughter would be responsible enough with her actions as to not get herself into a situation like this!!

 

[Never]

It's difficult to retract your post when two people have quoted it already...

 

[Bonnie Wee Lassie]

3months and he never caught on? Your telling me that in 3 months none of her friends told him or he never met her parents? Was this during the summer or during a school year?
Personally I think her parents should have been more involved in her life and he should have found out before 3 months. Maybe he did know and choose not to care.

 

[Sonora]

Sorry NH, but I too find it a little hard to believe that he never met any of her friends and got clued in to her real age. I can understand how one girl (or boy) can look and act older than she is, but not when you get her with her friends. I guess now in addition to a certificate of clean health, your friend should be checking ID.

I also think that the parents should be forced to meet with CPS. There is obviously something wrong in the family if they don't know more about what their 14 year old daughter is doing.

 

[Lasher]

Holy Shit!

You're friend wouldn't happen to be named Buttafuoco, would he??

The fact of the matter is, we have things like statutory rape laws and child labor laws in this country to protect children from being exploited by adults. Regardless of how she looks or how she acts, a 14 year old girl is still a child. I know it's hard to believe that a teenage girl would lie about her age, but it just boggles the mind to think that someone could spend 3 months seeing this girl and not figure something out.

Unfortunately, anything that's happened to your friend he has brought on himself.

Oh, and I was really impressed by the level of maturity displayed by some of the posts on this page. I get the feeling that maybe not everyone here is being honest about their ages, either. Just a thought....

 

[Patryn]

Well, I'm going to catch shit for this, I know, but...the statutory rape laws are all bullshit. I have a friend who had sex with a 17 year old when he was 19 (age of consent here being 18). TWO FUCKING YEARS APART!! Now, if he had been 25 and she 23, it would be, let's see, what's the word? Normal? I think there should be consent and nonconsent. Consent is sex, nonconsent is rape, pure and simple. This girl consented. Never mind the fact that at 13, you don't know what the hell is going on, but dollars to donuts she knew damn well what having sex was!! And now your friend is sitting in jail because she got horny. I see why you're so angry, completely and totally.

And if she's at a party with 18+ year olds at age 14, for god's sake, where are her parents?

 

[Lasher]

If you're 19 year old friend would've been fucking the 17 year old in Pennsylvania, Patryn, it wouldn't have been a problem (Well, unless of course he brought her across state lines expressly for the purpose of having sex, then I think that would be a violation of the Mann Act. Not being a lawyer, it's the best I can do).

Here's PA's Statutory Sexual Assault law (apparently the old Statutory Rape law has been repealed - at least that's what my source is telling me):

3122.1. Statutory sexual assault.

Except as provided in section 3121 (relating to rape - the pertinent provision of section 3121 in this case states that ANYONE engaging in sexual intercourse with ANYONE under the age of 13 is commiting rape), a person commits a felony of the second degree when that person engages in sexual intercourse with a complainant under the age of 16 years and that person is four or more years older than the complainant and the complainant and the person are not married to each other.

I dunno, as laws that intrude into people's personal lives go, that one's not too bad. Basically what it says is that two 15 year olds fucking behind the garage are engaging in legal behavior, but that an 18 year old fucking a 14 year old should know better (especially after 3 months).

It's a bitch of a line to draw, but it's one that's gotta be drawn somewhere.

(BTW, I chose PA Law because obviously I live in PA. But if I remember right, Naked Hunny is also from PA so this is probably the same law her friend was prosecuted under)


[Edited by Lasher on 09-01-2000 at 08:47 PM]

 

[sweetcyanide]

Your friend does not deserve to be in jail for so long, because the girl DID consent.

But he needs to reprimended somehow, because he was careless in his actions.

I don't for one minute believe that he never had a clue that she was younger then she said she was.

And I also agree with some of the other posts, stating that the parents of this 14 y/o need to get THEIR act together, and maybe they should be charged too, because they are responsible for their childs actions to some degree.

The whole thing is just messy, and in some ways I believe the statutory rape laws are a pain in the ass, but they are necessary. Fact of the matter is that kids are going to lie about their age. It's up to the actual ADULT to clue in to that.

 

[Dreamer1]

Where oh where to begin! I refused to post earlier because I was too upset. Teenagers lie about their age! This is not a f***ing secret! Your friend probably knew and chose to play dumb and now he is paying the price. Given the set of facts as you have presented them, which are clearly most favorable to your friend, he was at minimum very careless. Any 28 year old man who wants to date girls that he thinks are 18 better be a lot more careful!

I have worked with those on both sides of this situation and even when I cared about the adult involved, I did not make excuses for their behavior!

Why was your friend not given an opportunity to complete probation with terms and conditions? Was he already "On paper?" States differ but I would like to hear more about sentencing in this scenario.

 

[Bonnie Wee Lassie]

Lasher....

I agree with everything you said but you got one thing wrong Naked Hunny said he was 28 and she was 14 at the time. Now what does a 28 year old want with any teenager is beyond me. Just thought I would clear that up.

 

[Dreamer1]

post retracted


[Edited by bobtoad777 on 09-01-2000 at 06:38 PM]

Way too late!!
That was so f****ing disturbing! You thought your solution was either a good one or humorous! Jesus!

 

[Lasher]

Whooops!

Lasher....

I agree with everything you said but you got one thing wrong Naked Hunny said he was 28 and she was 14 at the time. Now what does a 28 year old want with any teenager is beyond me. Just thought I would clear that up.

Don't know how I missed that. That definitely clears up any doubts I had.

 

[Weird Harold]

She might have looked older but I've never met a 14 year old that was even close to being a mature adult.

I have, in fact I raised one.

My oldest daughter has never been carded. By age 14 she was easily (and often) mistaken for 21. It irritated her immensely when she was mistaken for my wife, or her sister's mother. She dated a couple of "older guys" in Junior High and High School in the 19-25 age range, and I know that one of them had no idea she was underage until I finally met him and pointed it out.

My daughter was mature enough at age 14 to avoid any sexual problems, but that was her choice. She was also honest enough to defend anyone she fooled into thinking she was of legal age.

It's not very hard to conceal one's age, even for an extended period of time. The guy I told my daughter's age to had been dating her for about six-months. She just never mentioned age at all, and walked out to the street to meet him when he picked her up.

My daughter's appearance and demeanor at age 16 was mature enough that a subordinate of mine actually asked to see her ID to prove she was underage, and then accused her of having a fake ID made to put off unwanted advances. (He was drunk at the time, and not very bright when sober.)

In my personal opinion, Naked Hunny's friend is serving time not to punish him, but to punish her. I'm sure her parents prosecuted because the girl was sure enough of her feelings to fight them when they forbade her continued relationship with him.

This sounds very much to me like parents who wouldn't talk about sex and the legal problems underage sex can cause, then "punished" their daughter by prosecuting a situation she brought about through ignorance or rebellion.

Naked Hunny's friend is not completely blameless. If he was attracted to girls that age, he should have been smart enough to verify her age before stepping over the line. But then nobody has ever claimed that adulthood was mistake proof. Had he encountered my daughter at that age, I'm sure that checking her age would never have occurred to him.

 

[Naked Hunny]

I understand that my friend is not completely blameless on this one im not saying that i just believe that some of the blame should have went on the girl!! If she wanted to act like and adult she should have just admitted her blame but she didnt!!

 

[Sammyjo]

Haven't read all the posts on this topic, but I will comment.

I think that it is totally logical that he never once met her parents or any of her friends...let me explain.

I have had a few relationships where we were so into each other that no one else mattered. I never met his parents, he never met mine...we hung out together, alone...not with a bunch of people. When I was 14, I was raising children (my siblings). I could have easily passed for 20 or older in looks, and in maturity, the fact that I was lugging around a 2 year old everywhere I went probably made me look older, too. She could have very well pulled off the 18 thing to this guy. Not all 18 year olds introduce boyfriends or even friends to their parents, so he may not have really thought twice about it...think back to your "just hanging out" days...did your parents know EVERY SINGLE FRIEND that you had? Did you meet every parent of every friend that you had? I can answer with a resounding NO to both of these questions.

When I was younger, I was constantly hit on by older men, upon telling them how old I really was, they were amazed. If this girl indeed looked and acted like an 18 year old, it is logical that he may not have caught on there, either, and she is as much at fault as he is. But I think those parents could have handled things a bit differently, like confronting him first. Telling him that she was merely 14 might have put a stop to the whole thing. If not, then press charges. I think everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. Just pressing charges without knowing all the facts seems a bit weird...

I also want to say that if they were the type of parents who weren't at all involved, or who didn't care...they probably wouldn't have pressed the charges to begin with.

Maybe she told her parents lies about him, which allowed this thing to drag out for 3 months. Had the little tramp been honest, this may not have happened at all.

Let's be honest here, a lot of 14 year olds ARE having sex, whether or not their parents are around. Saying things like "where are the parents?" may or may not work in every situation...the parents might be totally involved in their child's life. Children are constantly bombarded with sex, whether at school, work (for those who do), TV, internet, friends...whatever...it's a sad fact that teenagers are more into "showing their love" than getting an education.

Of course...there is always a chance that he knew and chose to ignore it all.

***Disclaimer***

I am not condoning teenage sex, merely stating that it is a fact, and that is something that we as a society need to deal with...as if we didn't have enough to deal with already.

(Sad fact that I've noticed all these explanations, disclaimers, and such at the end of posts...)

 

[Tess1]

It is sad, that in today's society, we have cases such as this. I've been reading this since it started, and have chosen to remain silent up to this point.

While I will not comment on the right, or wrongness, of either parties actions, I will reply to some of the comments made about the "maturity level" of the young woman.

I have a 14 year old sister. She is a very tall, very mature looking young woman. She does appear older than her 14 years. But the fact still remains that she is a YOUNG woman.

To see her interact with her friends, no one would ever question that these young woman are still freshman and sophomores in high school. To hear their conversations, one would wonder if these girls were capable of passing the easiest of exams in the school system. It's the fact that the maturity level they "choose" to function at is appropriate for their age level. I have never met a 14 year old, regardless of the circumstances, that is as mature as someone who is 25, 21, or even 18.

I do believe maturity comes from life experiences. I am not saying there are not people out there mature beyond their years. I know they exist. But they are the exception to the norm.

In regard to the actions of her parents, based on what I have read, I have no doubts in my mind that my mother and father would do the same thing, if they found out a 28 year old man had been sleeping with my younger sister. I have grown up in a household where sex was not discussed. It was considered "Taboo", all of it. Those of you that know me, also know how strict my parents are. I have openly admited several times that my mother is an out and out prude.

So, to me, a parent not talking to their child about sex is not something uncommen. I think that in a good majority of the cases, in homes across the country, children go "uneducated" and are left to take it upon themselves to discover what so many of us regard as a natural and healthy activity.

In the state of Illinois, the age of consent is 16. The statutory rape laws of the state are something I've had no experience with. But, do you honestly think that if they were not beneficial, they would still be in effect? Personally, I think not.

I apologize for jumping around so much. I would like to add that I don't condone the action of either party. What he did was wrong, what she did was wrong. Both are at fault.