Two things I know

[TarnishedPenny]

It strikes me that one secret of writing good fiction is being able to get inside the head of both sexes, understanding how their minds work, how they react to other people, how they view the world, minutiae of their daily lives.

So, as a way of expanding that awareness, please post two day-to-day things, one about each sex, things you suspect aren't common knowledge. If you aren't sure about the other sex, then just do one.

My start:

Women will loan a tampon to their worst enemy.

A man will not, given any choice, stand next to another man in a row of urinals in a public washroom.

 

[HectorBidon]

This one is kind of a cliche, but I think it has some truth to it. A man will gladly pay $2 for a $1 item that he really wants. A woman will gladly pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't.

 

[YouDidWhut]

A woman can remember what you were wearing and what you said during dinner at 6:19 pm on May 5th, 1987.

A man can’t remember if his socks matched yesterday.

 

[ElectricBlue]

This is all a bit Cliche 101, but often a cliche has a nub of home truth:

Women dress to impress women, undress to impress men.

Women talk and listen with their hands; men don't listen, they just talk.

When women listen, they give you undivided attention; men still look around.

That one was a light-bulb moment for me, when three different women used exactly the same expression about me: "you give me your 'undivided attention' - it's as if I'm the only woman in the room." Luckily, I learned that one quite young, it's served me well...

 

[Handley_Page]

This is all a bit Cliche 101, but often a cliche has a nub of home truth:

Women dress to impress women, undress to impress men.

Women talk and listen with their hands; men don't listen, they just talk.

When women listen, they give you undivided attention; men still look around.

That one was a light-bulb moment for me, when three different women used exactly the same expression about me: "you give me your 'undivided attention' - it's as if I'm the only woman in the room." Luckily, I learned that one quite young, it's served me well...

When a man demonstrates thus, it can frighten the woman. . . .

 

[lovecraft68]

Women hold grudges forever.

Two men can get in a fist fight then buy each other a beer the next day.

 

[ElectricBlue]

When a man demonstrates thus, it can frighten the woman. . . .

Not in my experience.

 

[NotWise]

Women will loan a tampon to their worst enemy.

Actually, a man might do that too, but it would be kindof a high school prank.

 

[sunandshadow]

Women take one look at a man they've never met before and categorize him according to the clothes and accessories he's wearing. Generally this won't be a sexual assessment, but instead will be about his personality, political alignment, job, whether he's dangerous, etc. If two women friends are sitting together, sometimes one will tell a whole speculative story about a guy neither of them know, to see if the other woman agrees with her assessment.

Men will take one look at a woman they've never met before, evaluate them for attractiveness and trouble-causing potential, and if they're neither attractive nor likely to cause trouble, will ignore them. They will usually only relay this evaluation to a male friend if they think it will earn them social points with that male friend.

 

[ausfet]

A woman can remember what you were wearing and what you said during dinner at 6:19 pm on May 5th, 1987.

A man can’t remember if his socks matched yesterday.

I read something on Facebook about a number of men not knowing what colour eyes their wives had. I think 'this has got to be bullshit'. I shut my eyes and asked my husband what colour they were. After a long pause he guessed 'brown?'. My eyes are blue.

On the other hand, he will start conversations with 'can you remember which sex act we did on that Saturday night in Tamborine Mountain four years ago?' and I will have no clue what he is talking about. Name a date, and he'll know the act, the circumstance and how good it was, but if I were to ask him what I was wearing at the time? No clue.

I don't think most men understand how intensely stressful women find it when they invite people over when the house is a mess.

My knowledge of men is pretty shit, but a lot seem to base their self esteem and worth on their jobs far more than women do. Most women I know may like their jobs, but it's not an integral part of their identity.

 

[NotWise]

I read something on Facebook about a number of men not knowing what colour eyes their wives had. I think 'this has got to be bullshit'. I shut my eyes and asked my husband what colour they were. After a long pause he guessed 'brown?'. My eyes are blue.

Does he know what color his own eyes are? It wouldn't surprise me if he didn't.

 

[ausfet]

Does he know what color his own eyes are? It wouldn't surprise me if he didn't.

Good question, I'll have to ask!

 

[Handley_Page]

I read something on Facebook about a number of men not knowing what colour eyes their wives had. I think 'this has got to be bullshit'. I shut my eyes and asked my husband what colour they were. After a long pause he guessed 'brown?'. My eyes are blue.

My knowledge of men is pretty shit, but a lot seem to base their self esteem and worth on their jobs far more than women do. Most women I know may like their jobs, but it's not an integral part of their identity.

The then girlfriend, when on the 'phone some time ago, said "What colour are my eyes?"
As it happens, she had very strange eyes, a sort-of blue-grey and I told her so.
She'd never thought of her eyes in that manner and we debated the subject for quite a while.

 

[Blind_Justice]

Visual cues are overrated. Take it from me.

 

[MelissaBaby]

When women listen, they give you undivided attention; men still look around.

That one was a light-bulb moment for me, when three different women used exactly the same expression about me: "you give me your 'undivided attention' - it's as if I'm the only woman in the room." Luckily, I learned that one quite young, it's served me well...

This is true, and occasionally the cause of communication problems, because the woman sees the man looking around, she thinks he's not paying attention, and when the woman sits quietly, looking right at him, the man starts to feel like she's suspicious of him.

Also, women tend to interject when they are interested in a conversation (Uh huh...oh really...what did she say?) Men gets quieter the more interested they are.

Result: Men think women are impatient, women think men are uninterested.

 

[ausfet]

The then girlfriend, when on the 'phone some time ago, said "What colour are my eyes?"
As it happens, she had very strange eyes, a sort-of blue-grey and I told her so.
She'd never thought of her eyes in that manner and we debated the subject for quite a while.

I wonder if she read the same post as me? I'm starting to suspect a few thousand men were probably put on the spot by wives and girlfriends asking what colour eyes they had.

 

[Handley_Page]

I wonder if she read the same post as me? I'm starting to suspect a few thousand men were probably put on the spot by wives and girlfriends asking what colour eyes they had.

My late wife had the most beautiful brown eyes imaginable (eyes a man can drown in).
Her grand-daughter seems to have retained that gene.

 

[Gentleman_G]

I wonder if she read the same post as me? I'm starting to suspect a few thousand men were probably put on the spot by wives and girlfriends asking what colour eyes they had.

Been there, done that ... luckily my girlfriend`s eyes are grey-ish. We still have discussions about which color it is, so at least that one I can get away with, claiming that it is how I percieve it.

I don't think most men understand how intensely stressful women find it when they invite people over when the house is a mess.

My knowledge of men is pretty shit, but a lot seem to base their self esteem and worth on their jobs far more than women do. Most women I know may like their jobs, but it's not an integral part of their identity.

I understand the whole thing about the house being a mess. I`m one of those fussers too - ironically, unlike my girlfriend who doesn`t give a damn when it`s a mess.

Being a man and all, I can confirm your suspicion on the work-part. Plenty of men do that. I`ve had plenty of co-workers who fit the bill. I think I`ll only get there once I get to do what I love to do, rather than doing what I`ve studied for.

 

[NotWise]

Been there, done that ... luckily my girlfriend`s eyes are grey-ish. We still have discussions about which color it is, so at least that one I can get away with, claiming that it is how I percieve it.

Maybe they're hazel eyes?

They can be overall brown, blue or grey but the color always grades from the pupil to the edge. I picked a picture that is predominantly grey.

 

[Kojak01]

I don't think most men understand how intensely stressful women find it when they invite people over when the house is a mess.

My knowledge of men is pretty shit, but a lot seem to base their self esteem and worth on their jobs far more than women do. Most women I know may like their jobs, but it's not an integral part of their identity.

I'm not sure if you noticed when writing but, if you fit the first part of the quote, you define yourself over the state of your house. So you could turn your second paragraph around a bit:

"My knowledge of women is pretty shit, but a lot seem to base their self esteem and worth on the cleanliness of their house far more than men do. Most men I know like it clean at home, but it's not an integral part of their identity."

Don't get me wrong, please. I don't want to start a fight, just show a different perspective. I suppose this has a lot to do with social expectations: Man = Provider, Woman = Homemaker.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I'm not sure if you noticed when writing but, if you fit the first part of the quote, you define yourself over the state of your house. So you could turn your second paragraph around a bit:

"My knowledge of women is pretty shit, but a lot seem to base their self esteem and worth on the cleanliness of their house far more than men do. Most men I know like it clean at home, but it's not an integral part of their identity."

Note, ausfet didn't say that women get more stressed than men merely about having a messy house; she was talking about inviting people over when the house is messy.

A lot of people will assume, rightly or wrongly, that cleaning and tidying is the woman's responsibility, in which case they'll judge her more harshly than him for the same mess.

 

[Bramblethorn]

"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them." - Margaret Atwood

 

[clistenovena]

Women talk and listen with their hands; men don't listen, they just talk.

Or don't talk at all. In my experience. And the listening part...what keeps y'all from listening? Other thoughts swirling about? Better things to do? But if I even mention sex- INSTANT, full attention.

Although I can slightly understand that.

I don't think most men understand how intensely stressful women find it when they invite people over when the house is a mess.

YES!! This!

From what I've lived, most men will go through quite a bit to avoid a conflict with a truly angry woman.

Most women don't mind having the argument. Some even seek it out.

 

[Kojak01]

Note, ausfet didn't say that women get more stressed than men merely about having a messy house; she was talking about inviting people over when the house is messy.

A lot of people will assume, rightly or wrongly, that cleaning and tidying is the woman's responsibility, in which case they'll judge her more harshly than him for the same mess.

The part about inviting people over is, imo, a minor detail. And again:

"A lot of people will assume, rightly or wrongly, that providing is the man's responsibility, in which case they'll judge him more harshly than her for the same lack of money."

In fact, we agree. It's all in the expectations. Neither is treated fairy...

 

[SimonDoom]

A man and woman drive in a car together for a long distance. For a while, neither says anything to the other.

The woman wonders what the man is thinking. Should I talk more? she wonders. Am I doing enough to sustain the conversation? What is he thinking? Is he upset that I'm not talking? Is there something wrong?

The woman might interrupt the silence to apologize for not being more talkative.

Meanwhile, the man isn't thinking about any of this stuff. He's thinking about the game last night and why the fuck his team's quarterback threw that pass into tight coverage that resulted in an interception.