Two steps forward....ten steps back...

Not always the case
If i get you right andit was the first time she tryed to travel on her own some times the first thing that goes wrong is the disaster let her try again then see. Just like any child the all alone adventure is daunting

Happend with my kids like that

Also with a brother in a car accident ( he sufferd a memory loss problem) going to the libarey was a major hill for him to climb. Daft as it sound we found him ther reading a book because he forgot/ did'nt realise he could borrow the book and bring it home
 
My son is also disabled, and through this I have learn to show him once, and then let him figure it out for himself. Yes he is 4 now, but I will not always be there. I use to work with special children. You need to let them try, and try again. It is hard as a parent at times (I being a single parent), but through this I have learn that my son is gaining self confidence and problem solving. I know this does not seem like help, but they need to learn they can do things for themselves and we as parents have confidence in them.
 
*bratcat* said:




We had bought her a bus pass as she is now almost 19 and she wanted independence...unfortunately, she showed today that she is not capable of what we thought she was. It was actually very disheartening...for us, and I am sure for her. We have arranged a different way for her to get to school tomorrow and for the next few months, while the we, together with the school, work on backup plans for her to help her if this ever happens again.


Why do you need to arrange for a different way?

Live and learn.

What happened today obviously hadn't happened before. How was she to know what to do? Now that it has happened, will she not learn what to do if the situation present itself again?

I'm not sure that finding a different way, taking away her bus pass is the answer here. She wants independence. With independence comes responsibility. She was faced with a situation she wasn't sure how to deal with. Now that she knows what to do, can she not try again?
 
Patience, bratcat. :)

She may not be able to handle cause and effect, but she may be able to learn by rote. Missing the bus and getting flustered the first time out is to be expected. When the rest of us fall off a horse, we get back on. So try the bus thing again and let her learn what works by doing it over and over. Our kids don't learn problem-solving when we step in at the first sign of trouble, no matter what the IQ. It's okay to watch over her, but loosening the apron strings a bit will allow her basic instincts to grow with use.

The fact that she wants to be more independent means she CAN be more independent. Never underestimate willpower.
 
First Your Human.....

Second you can only do your best. I was caught totally off guard by the post. Today was a bad day at work and I was escaping to Lit. But I am glad it was your post that gave me the reality check. I dont know how much she can be expected to learn nor how easy or hard it is for her to learn so I will not try to give advice on what you could have or not have done. I know as a parent it has got to be disheartening to be doing everything you think you can or should be doing and yet wonder what more you can or should do.

I suppose just surrounding her with caring people, ones who will stick by her side whether you are their or not is the best thing you can do.
 
littlekateyes said:
My son is also disabled, and through this I have learn to show him once, and then let him figure it out for himself. Yes he is 4 now, but I will not always be there. I use to work with special children. You need to let them try, and try again. It is hard as a parent at times (I being a single parent), but through this I have learn that my son is gaining self confidence and problem solving. I know this does not seem like help, but they need to learn they can do things for themselves and we as parents have confidence in them.

Sounds like how you should treat any child learning something new, not just disabled kids.
 
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