Two New Stories of mine are posted!
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elfin_odalisque
Literotica Guru
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I've read both your posts and I was depressed.
A writer, however strong his opinion, tries to make the case for the other side - even if only to knock it down. 'Playing God' adds nothing (for or against) to the abortion debate. Similarly, Unconventional Plans is just too one-sided.
You can write, but you want to lecture us not tease us into your argument. My views, whatever they are, were not even questioned by your lack of argument.
You must engage, not hector.
A writer, however strong his opinion, tries to make the case for the other side - even if only to knock it down. 'Playing God' adds nothing (for or against) to the abortion debate. Similarly, Unconventional Plans is just too one-sided.
You can write, but you want to lecture us not tease us into your argument. My views, whatever they are, were not even questioned by your lack of argument.
You must engage, not hector.
and wasn't trying to lecture, but hey...*shrugs*
people read into stories what they want, I suppose. I've had people read other stuff I've written and write me some really well thought out explanation of how I was wrong to write about such and such subject, and I'm sitting there going, "that wasn't even what that was ABOUT"
We all read into things differently than others. Doesn't make anyone wrong, just....different.
EDIT: and one more thing. Not an atagonistic person, not someone who picks fights with people, or enjoys e-beefing or whatever the teenagers are calling it these days, but I wanted to address one thing:
Not really that credible if you don't even read something and label it as "it sucks"
You could say the first paragraph and a half sucks, but to read a fraction of something and claim that it sucks, is no different than the so-called Religous Right criticizing a movie, or music, or book without even reading it, going only one some blurb they read in a magazine and feeling offended by the very IDEA that it broaches.
Just saying....
people read into stories what they want, I suppose. I've had people read other stuff I've written and write me some really well thought out explanation of how I was wrong to write about such and such subject, and I'm sitting there going, "that wasn't even what that was ABOUT"
We all read into things differently than others. Doesn't make anyone wrong, just....different.
EDIT: and one more thing. Not an atagonistic person, not someone who picks fights with people, or enjoys e-beefing or whatever the teenagers are calling it these days, but I wanted to address one thing:
Not really that credible if you don't even read something and label it as "it sucks"
You could say the first paragraph and a half sucks, but to read a fraction of something and claim that it sucks, is no different than the so-called Religous Right criticizing a movie, or music, or book without even reading it, going only one some blurb they read in a magazine and feeling offended by the very IDEA that it broaches.
Just saying....
Last edited:
Jenny_Jackson
Psycho Bitch
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- Jul 8, 2006
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A couple of comments -
Neither story is actually a story at all, but viginettes. These are just chunks of what should have been a much longer story.
I found neither of them engaging. I saw them as a pulpit to spew you personal attitudes. That makes for both poor story-telling and bordom on the part of the reader.
Sorry.
Neither story is actually a story at all, but viginettes. These are just chunks of what should have been a much longer story.
I found neither of them engaging. I saw them as a pulpit to spew you personal attitudes. That makes for both poor story-telling and bordom on the part of the reader.
Sorry.
I am responding to your piece -- Playing God
Obviously you have passion about what you are writing about. That is a good thing, a starting point. I sense that some people criticized your piece for its view point rather than the writing itself.
I think you should take your work and expand it, make it alive. I would start the story with the lady opening the door to the cops (the narrator is in the background recording this). Write the conversation between the woman and the cops, how she sounds almost euphoric, talks of the care she took to be kind to the baby by using warm water. Describe the looks on her face as she talks, the way the cops glance at each other in amazement.
Make it real. I want to be there. As you actually begin to engage, write as though you are there with the girl. The characters will begin to talk for themselves. You will become a mere recorder of events. And then you will have something exciting.
Obviously you have passion about what you are writing about. That is a good thing, a starting point. I sense that some people criticized your piece for its view point rather than the writing itself.
I think you should take your work and expand it, make it alive. I would start the story with the lady opening the door to the cops (the narrator is in the background recording this). Write the conversation between the woman and the cops, how she sounds almost euphoric, talks of the care she took to be kind to the baby by using warm water. Describe the looks on her face as she talks, the way the cops glance at each other in amazement.
Make it real. I want to be there. As you actually begin to engage, write as though you are there with the girl. The characters will begin to talk for themselves. You will become a mere recorder of events. And then you will have something exciting.
starrkers
Down two, then left
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You write well, but there's nothing to engage with the characters. It reads a little like a newspaper report - the facts, just the facts.
If you can get inside a character's head (whether it is the main character or one of the peripheral) and give us an idea how someone feels about what is going on, I believe you would be better received.
I didn't see the "abortion debate" that obviously upset some of the previous posters.
If you can get inside a character's head (whether it is the main character or one of the peripheral) and give us an idea how someone feels about what is going on, I believe you would be better received.
I didn't see the "abortion debate" that obviously upset some of the previous posters.
