Turn off for guys

[paphian]

Re: Re: My Intellectual Equal

I totally agree with you...except...where I see the 'elitism' shining through is the stereotyping of intellect must equal education. I disagree.

I'll agree with you on this. Give me *breadth* over highly specialized *depth* any day. My interests run from history to paleontology to biology to physics to whateverelsestrikesmyfancy.

Can't tell you the number of *very* well-educated folks I know who can't keep up. It's not that they don't know their specialty, and know it very, very well indeed, it's just that they've spent so long in acquiring that knowledge that much else has passed them by.

 

[Trancer]

Re: Re: My Intellectual Equal

Turns offs:

a) Inability to trust.

b) Too much Drama and giving a shit about what others think about your relationship. Yes, a friend's advice can be helpfull, but they shouldn't dictate what works and what doesn't for you.

c) Preoccupation with the normal societal view of what a relationship is "supposed to be". (Let's not go crazy over this one, though, I need to remember where I am. heheh) I think I'm talking about the "2.5 children, white picket fence" theory.

d) Being too "Clingy" - (props to Azure)

e) Need an open mind. Yup. (props to Azure again) Along with a sense of adventure.

f) ... and space. I can easily be with someone, and be committed to that relationship. But PLEASE, understand I need my solitude. Even if it's flying to some place without you. We can both be committed yet independant. And, sorry, this qualifies: we don't need to sleep together EVERY NiGHT.

Great thread. Thanks guys.

 

[Liontamr]

Azure made a great point about a woman being negitive. For me the biggest turn off I've encountered so far is when a woman is negitive and has a poor outlook either on life, on self or a combination of the two.

Life is never that bad that you have to constantly bemoan how imperfect life is. You have your health, we have each other and sometimes that's all that is needed to get through life. And honestly you look just as hot if not hotter in cotton PJ's rather than a lace teddy, and honestly I think you look just as cute with your hair down and sweat pants as you do with everything made up and that lil mini skirt outfit... So please stop going on and about how you wish you looked sexier.

I could list more, and just may.. But the negativity is one that really bugs me, after that anything else can be at the very least dealt with.

 

[sortacurious]

taking notes....

Good stuff, guys!

 

[WhiteRose]

*takes notes*

 

[gbboy1975]

You're Correct, Education = Intellect...hmm

I think 'sortacurious' is absolutely correct. I really didn't mean to imply that the only way to attain intellectual heights is through education. Indeed, some people get so wrapped up in thier own subjects that they lose all ability to engage with intellectuals in other fields.

Furthermore, I know many many people who have a vast education behind them, and are still not 'intellectually capable,' similarly, I know many people who are intellectual sabres but have little formal education.

Didn't mean to confuse people

gbboy1975

 

[anneski]

Bumping this thread, cos it looks interesting

 

[Ballboy]

I agree with many of the "turn-offs"

and will add one of my own. Failure to maintain an identity or independence.

As often happens in relationships (or maybe just my own), my s/o begins to lose her independence and identity and becomes more reliant on me and our relationship.

I understand that as relationships grow and mature, they become more important in our lives, more time consuming and require more effort.

As I am attracted to strong independent women that bring their own game to a relationship, I become disinterested when they sacrifice themselves, their goals and independence and find their identity in our relationship.

 

[Oilpainter]

Turnoffs

I feel the most unnatractive quality would be not telling the truth. It turns most men off instantly.

 

[sxychick21]

Sxy bumps...

Still looking for good information as to what turns men off! Very helpful so far...

 

[lovemetender]

for me number one would be bad personal hygiene..aargh!!
#2..need a woman who is independent & not constantly looking for me to motivate her...
#3...be upfront & be honest...if you want something ask,don't hint...LOL
#4...moaning & negativity..
& last but not least....get rid of the headache...I have needs too ya know...LMAO!!...just kidding

 

[MizTabby]

where the boys are

It's a good thing being able to express yourselves so frankly, and we can all learn from each other, especially where more intimate matters are concerned. I know I've got my shortcomings, so I appreciate being aware of the turn-offs, thanks guys

 

[Cloak38]

1) Too much make-up. Less is more, ya know?

2) Liars. ' nuff said.

3) Trying to be what you're not. Just be yourself.

4) Psycho women. I seem to attact them.

5) Lipstick. Not a big fan.

 

[sxychick21]

Bump...

SxyChick bumps her favorite thread

 

[Desdemona]

Very interesting stuff. Thanks. Tell us more.

 

[TIGEREYES]

turn offs

1 selfishness
2 spending all day in front of the mirror
3 asking if your ass is fat
4 control thru sex this one really really can drive a man to drink
5 forgetting that if your married your single girlfriends are jelious.

 

[sxychick21]

Re: turn offs

1 selfishness
2 spending all day in front of the mirror
3 asking if your ass is fat
4 control thru sex this one really really can drive a man to drink
5 forgetting that if your married your single girlfriends are jelious.

Thanks for the input TigerEyes! Can you explain #5?

 

[TIGEREYES]

clerify

Its simple did you ever notice how unattached girlfriends tend to be critical of their married friends husbands. they go out with the wife and kinda give them that impression how great it is to be free. its kinda like a human nature pycology thing i don't have it so its not that great. and believe me if your looking for it it hits you right in the face. Dave

 

[sxychick21]

Re: clerify

Its simple did you ever notice how unattached girlfriends tend to be critical of their married friends husbands. they go out with the wife and kinda give them that impression how great it is to be free. its kinda like a human nature pycology thing i don't have it so its not that great. and believe me if your looking for it it hits you right in the face. Dave

Oh ok I get it. Thanks. In our single girls defense...i must say that we ARE jealous! I would much rather have someone to come home to, someone to share the good AND bad with.

 

[TIGEREYES]

too bad

too bad your on the other side of the country i could use a real women. Dave

 

[sxychick21]

Re: too bad

too bad your on the other side of the country i could use a real women. Dave

What a sweet thing to say...

 

[TIGEREYES]

hopless romantic

What can i say chick i'm still the hopeless romantic

 

[sxychick21]

Re: hopless romantic

What can i say chick i'm still the hopeless romantic

Nothing wrong with that sweetie. Dont let cruel people beat it out of you

 

[Cunnilingual]

hmm lets see..

1. clingy women would have to be a big one.. the whole every minute free has to be with me thing is over rated

2. stuck-up and or self centered women, no offence if this fits Ya, but to be honest I am the sort of man that looks beyond the outer wrapper, and thinks of others, and I expect the same from women

3. brains are a must, if you are air headed, or like to play that way cause you think it is cute.. you need not apply..

4. lying I try to be honest in all that I do, and expect that of MY partner.. after all if you can not trust the woman you are with why bother?

5. slutty is fine however desperate is not, have had women trying to get me into a hotel room on the first date, and as much as I know some of the women folk will think it odd, it was a turn off, half the fun is a bit of chase...

hmm I think thats about got it..

 

[Smiley777]

Azure made a great point about a woman being negitive. For me the biggest turn off I've encountered so far is when a woman is negitive and has a poor outlook either on life, on self or a combination of the two.

Life is never that bad that you have to constantly bemoan how imperfect life is. You have your health, we have each other and sometimes that's all that is needed to get through life. And honestly you look just as hot if not hotter in cotton PJ's rather than a lace teddy, and honestly I think you look just as cute with your hair down and sweat pants as you do with everything made up and that lil mini skirt outfit... So please stop going on and about how you wish you looked sexier.

I truly second this. These are really important points for me as well. Lemme see, others that I can think of:

1. Amounts of makeup. If it is for sun protection I can understand, or a moisturizing lipstick for chapped lips. Otherwise, the less...the better. This goes along with the whole positive outlook, for if you are not happy truly being yourself, then a mutual relationship is a long shot.

2. Shared sense of humor. This is really important. I don't think this is something that can be "worked on" by anybody, male or female...if two people laugh together, it works. Otherwise, if there is a constant need for references or "dead air" after an attempt at humor...things are not going well.

3. Intelligent conversation. Always great to be able to have an engaging dialogue with someone you care about. This is true whether you are talking about the news, the grocery list, or your own relationship. Being able to talk about questions, opinions, and even problems is a must.

Good thread...take care everyone.