Trying again.

[RomanceSub]

Hey everyone. Are there any subs who were abused who are willing to share their story of how they got back into submission? Or any doms (or anyone else) with encouraging advice?

 

[DaddyAsh]

Hey everyone. Are there any subs who were abused who are willing to share their story of how they got back into submission? Or any doms (or anyone else) with encouraging advice?

You may want them to PM you, so they can post Anonamously (sp).

 

[MeekMe]

Hey everyone. Are there any subs who were abused who are willing to share their story of how they got back into submission? Or any doms (or anyone else) with encouraging advice?

What helped me may not work for others.

You've been through something. While not ideal (some stuff you just don't want to experience firsthand) you gained some knowledge and experience and can now use that to make decisions moving forward. You are now equipped with some tools. Can you identify what is abusive to you? Can you remove (or get help from friends/family/programs for) yourself if a similar situation arises? This isn't saying a similar situation will happen, but if it does you'll have what you need to get out, hopefully. This is something that helped me. When I was able to identify these things I felt more confident in myself to be able to recognize if it was happening and to get out. Knowing I had the resources to help myself made getting into relationships more comfortable for me.

In the stickies at the top are some resources, check out the BDSM Library link. Abuse is the first topic, I checked and some of the links are no longer valid. Here's one site that I thought could be helpful. Here's a recent post that I think is relevant. And another post from the same place but for a partner of an abuse survivor.

 

[lilcuriouscatt]

I have had a few subs who were pushed past their limits and abused in past relationships. From what they have told me, the need to submit, to have that relationship again, is what made them seek out a new dominant.

For my part, I take extra time in the first stages of the relationship to listen to their fears, and give extra affection as needed. It is very important to establish trust and it is hard for them after what they have been thru. I always start with very light scenes and discuss things thoroughly afterwards.

It really isn't any different from how you would start a vanilla relationship with someone who had been thru a bad time.