Try This & Report Back

[emptynester]

Oless - if he can feel the squishy lump, more than likely that is the spot he needs to keep applying pressure to. At first it may not seem like any big deal. If you can relax and just go with it, eventually as he continues to apply pressure, it will begin to drive you crazy. For me sometimes that urge to pee is extreme but my husband has said over and over again, just go with it. I finally did. You will not pee. It is just that feeling before you orgasm.
We have used various toys and positions also but the best for me has been with his fingers or thumb if you are on your stomach. I really can't say I get the same affect from the toys at all.
I had to really work at letting go. At first I told him to stop. He eventually didn't listen and it worked. It was not a feeling of really wanting him to stop but a fear of what I was going to do. It is all about relaxation too. Keep trying. Eventually, it will work. Just don't get frustrated. Each time it seemed like we got a little closer and closer until it finally happened. I am around your age with 3 kids too. All from natural childbirth not C-section. I really think I can relate. It took us a while too.

 

[boobwitched]

Exciting 'research' ...

We've managed g-spot O's for a good while now, but this technique (and the prospect of mo-betta) has me really anxious to have a test drive!

Will definitely keep you informed, Mr. G!

 

[orgasmless]

ok so if i take our word that i wont pee, can you tell me what the feeling of the fluid moving ready to come out of me was then, it didnt come out it just stayed there as if i was actually holding on, imagine a bloke about to pee and then squeezing the tip of his penis to stop it coming out, that what i felt. why?

 

[emptynester]

Oless - I am sending you a pm. A little too personal at least for me to explain openly in a forum. I am thankful everyone else is not as shy about expressing their opinions as I am, otherwise I (and SO) would not be enjoying the pleasures we are at the moment.

 

[MR.GGG]

"" can you tell me what the feeling of the fluid moving ready to come out of me was then, it didnt come out it just stayed there as if i was actually holding on..."

This one of the great mysteries. It has been researched but again some of the best minds and sexpert researchers can't determine or agree on certain facts. The fluid is NOT urine and appears to cum from something called the SKEENE GLANDS found lining the lower urethra.

The fact that to stimulate the area properly one has to use quite a bit of force may mean that there are areas of the clitoral trunk that are being battered by what amounts to hydrostatic shock. As the fluid builds in the area of the Skeene glands there CAN be a release that you feel could be urine. All I can say (being a guy and just watching what my ministrations are evoking in my partner) is that there should come a point where you relax - like peeing in a wet suit on an cold water dive. You KNOW it's not right. Every fibre of your adult being sez tho shalt NOT pee your pants and it takes a LOT of concentration to allow yourself to do that but when you do there is a feeling of almost primal satisfaction. Just make sure you have lots of towels in case you produce a lot of fluid and try to "push" when you have relaxed. Hopefully that push and the relaxed muscles will allow the Skeene glands to purge and that alone is hugely satisfying and a very intimate moment to share with your hubby.

The act of ejaculation seems to be associated with but not necessarily part and parcel with a G-Gasm. In other words some women experience a VERY satisfy release of fluid without actually orgasming. Some women experience the reverse of that and some do both sometimes.

The joy of being individuals makes "normal" an impossible definition and when it comes to sex and reactions to certain stimuli we are all so different the people who do know something about this can only try and advise the ones attempting to get there. When some things don't work it is just as frustrating I think for those tutoring and encouraging as it is for those who fail to react the way they are trying to ie. the G-Gasms or if things do work out "properly," dozens of them.

I hope emptynest and others can open a window for you. It is a great sensation to create. I can only imagine what it'd be like to orgasm 30 - 40 - or more times in an evening with a partner. Don't give up in frustration. Keep trying and I betcha it happens when you're least expecting it. Again, g'luck.

 

[orgasmless]

as a kids i had a terrible problem with wetting the bed, this went on til iwas about 14, parents had me at the doctors so often for this, but by the time i was about 5-6 i was so frightened by it i tried alsorts to hide it from her, obviously at that age it didnt work!!! aas i grew older i used all sorts of things plastic under a couple of towels etc, most of the time i didnt sleep well because i was so afraid that i would do it again, as i got older i even took to sleeping on the toilet with a quilt around me!! dad often found me like that!! and then put me to bed, i always got back up and slept on there again.

as i grew older i did grew out of the bed wetting but the fear of it was still in me, i never peed in public, and certainly never in front of my hubby, i cant even do that in front of him or on the other side of the bathroom door, this made labour very difficult as they needed for me to do this on the BED (the very place i tried for so many years not to pee) into a bedpan!! i am terrified of this happening again. even hin teeling me its ok and that everytime he cums its either in me or on me so what difference does it make to him if i do that, i have such a hard time, i have tried being in the shower with him and peeing, he wouldnt see anything, it would be washed away or covered in bubbles etc but i still cant do it, i really need to know that im not going to pee and its going to take a serious convincing that i cant/wont. help

 

[bouncingbetty]

as a kids i had a terrible problem with wetting the bed, this went on til iwas about 14, parents had me at the doctors so often for this, but by the time i was about 5-6 i was so frightened by it i tried alsorts to hide it from her, obviously at that age it didnt work!!! aas i grew older i used all sorts of things plastic under a couple of towels etc, most of the time i didnt sleep well because i was so afraid that i would do it again, as i got older i even took to sleeping on the toilet with a quilt around me!! dad often found me like that!! and then put me to bed, i always got back up and slept on there again.

as i grew older i did grew out of the bed wetting but the fear of it was still in me, i never peed in public, and certainly never in front of my hubby, i cant even do that in front of him or on the other side of the bathroom door, this made labour very difficult as they needed for me to do this on the BED (the very place i tried for so many years not to pee) into a bedpan!! i am terrified of this happening again. even hin teeling me its ok and that everytime he cums its either in me or on me so what difference does it make to him if i do that, i have such a hard time, i have tried being in the shower with him and peeing, he wouldnt see anything, it would be washed away or covered in bubbles etc but i still cant do it, i really need to know that im not going to pee and its going to take a serious convincing that i cant/wont. help

Go to the bathroom and force yourself before sex. I work in the medical field and I've heard many an OB doctor tell our patients that when seriously aroused, a woman (or man) cannot urinate, primarily a biological thing: urine is like acid to sperm, so we are "programed" to reproduce and nature makes it hard for us to accidently destroy our off spring. I know when I feel the urge to pee, I relax a little and it happens soon after.

 

[orgasmless]

of course i always do that, but it was this thing happening during his thumb inside of me that frightened me, the part where i felt the fluid move but it got stuck? thats when i got the huge pain and couldnt take it anymore.

 

[orgasmless]

just got to add that even though im on my period just now, we have just finnished a session, hes out walking the dog!!, he did use my vib on me for a long time, got that feeling again, so we switched to him doing anal with his fingers and once again i got this awful feeling so many times that im going to pee, i just cant no matter what i do, and it certainly doesnt last the 30 seconds that so many places say it should take to pass it goes on and on and on!! i even concentrated on relaxing each muscle in turn, a kinda distraction thing but that didnt work at all and as soon as i stopped thing relax left arm relax right arm and worked my way down like that it came back with avengence!! even though i had been for a pee so many times this morning i knew there wasnt anything to pee!! help!!!!!!!! its doing my head in this is.

 

[orgasmless]

ok ive just had a pm saying that this is my orgasm!!!! really? exactly what does/meant to feel like then cause i understood it was meant to be something pleasurable and nothing excrutiating pain!!! i got no other sensations at all going on inside of me, and it certainly didnt even feel like the feeling i get when we use the vib, not saying that that is an orgasm cause i still dont believe it is, i dont get any contractions or a feeling of finnished from that, it feels like a beginningto something but not the end of it.

the pain is similar to getting a cathata placed in you, that burning sort of pain from a hot knife.

 

[ickle_stace]

have you had an orgasm just using your vibe on your clit orgasmless?

 

[orgasmless]

short answer is i dont know, probably not, i get some feeling of something, hubby says i have but then again i dont know i dont get any contractions and i never feel finnished with it, i dont feel sensative when he touches it after, so from that i would say no i dont orgasm from the vib.

 

[ickle_stace]

short answer is i dont know, probably not, i get some feeling of something, hubby says i have but then again i dont know i dont get any contractions and i never feel finnished with it, i dont feel sensative when he touches it after, so from that i would say no i dont orgasm from the vib.

i think maybe orgasm from your vibrator on your clit would be an easier start than going straight in for the g-spot stuff

would be IMO anyway, I can cum from clitoral stimulation, but normally to cum from penetration (be it with fingers or penis) i need to have clitoral stimulation, maybe this g-spot technique would work, but i've always found it easier to cum just from my clit than any other way

 

[orgasmless]

so if its easier then just how do you do that and what does it feel like then, cause i just cant get a straight answer for that one, trouble is as we are both virgins when we met and married 25 years ago we have no experience from elsewhere to go by.

 

[ickle_stace]

so if its easier then just how do you do that and what does it feel like then, cause i just cant get a straight answer for that one, trouble is as we are both virgins when we met and married 25 years ago we have no experience from elsewhere to go by.

well for me i can feel the tension building up inside me, and it gets more and more and more, and then its like it all gets released and my pussy starts contracting

 

[orgasmless]

tension? whats that?

 

[ickle_stace]

tension? whats that?

just like you can feel something building up inside you, and it feels better and better

I don't always get the needing to pee feeling when i just stimulate my clit, so if you could stimulate your clit and not get that feeling then you might not feel the pain which stops you from wanting to pee

you have to relax though, don't think about what if you need to pee you just have to relax and think about how the toy feels on your clit, or you could fantasise about something

 

[orgasmless]

sorry im not trying to be thick or stupid but i dont ever fantasise, i havent got a clue even though lately i have tried but when i close my eyes i just see blackness and nothing else, i need to actually do something to feel it, trouble is when we use the vib most of the time it hurts me, like rubbing glass into me, if i try and use my fingers i feel nothing and i just lose interest when hubby uses his fingers i just get the glass being rubbed into me feeling.

i havent ever felt like something building inside of me, nothing at all

 

[ickle_stace]

sorry im not trying to be thick or stupid but i dont ever fantasise, i havent got a clue even though lately i have tried but when i close my eyes i just see blackness and nothing else, i need to actually do something to feel it, trouble is when we use the vib most of the time it hurts me, like rubbing glass into me, if i try and use my fingers i feel nothing and i just lose interest when hubby uses his fingers i just get the glass being rubbed into me feeling.

i havent ever felt like something building inside of me, nothing at all

have you tried using lube with your vibrator?

 

[orgasmless]

of course but i hate the stuff as it causes me to feel numb then, everything just slides all over the place and i hate that, it certainly doesnt make things better for me

 

[ickle_stace]

of course but i hate the stuff as it causes me to feel numb then, everything just slides all over the place and i hate that, it certainly doesnt make things better for me

if you use a tiny little bit it shouldn't be as bad

it's hard to help you if you have a reason against every suggestion

 

[orgasmless]

i know your only trying to help but we have been trying to sort this out for the ppast year and are getting nowhere fast, we have read so many books and stuff to try this and that, which we have done but to be honest it doesnt work for reason on me. i hate being so negative about it but when all ive ever had/felt is negative and then they say to tell him when something feels good, god, i love to be able to do that so far im still waiting cause none of it feels god at all at best it feels nothing at all, at worst i get loads of ppain. so what the hell am i to do? say nothing? cause thats what got me into thiss mess for the last 25 years, ive got nothing to look forward to except the probablity of more pain at the hands of the man that proclaims to love me to his dieing days, the very man that always tells me that he doesnt want to hurt me, but thats just the way it feels

 

[ickle_stace]

i know your only trying to help but we have been trying to sort this out for the ppast year and are getting nowhere fast, we have read so many books and stuff to try this and that, which we have done but to be honest it doesnt work for reason on me. i hate being so negative about it but when all ive ever had/felt is negative and then they say to tell him when something feels good, god, i love to be able to do that so far im still waiting cause none of it feels god at all at best it feels nothing at all, at worst i get loads of ppain. so what the hell am i to do? say nothing? cause thats what got me into thiss mess for the last 25 years, ive got nothing to look forward to except the probablity of more pain at the hands of the man that proclaims to love me to his dieing days, the very man that always tells me that he doesnt want to hurt me, but thats just the way it feels

the more you panic because it's not happened, the less likely it is to happen, I know I can't cum on demand, you just have to relax and let it happen, and keep trying

 

[orgasmless]

its impossible for me to relax as im so under pressure for this to happen from him, i mean if you where to sleep with someone and get yourself all worked up and they after 10 mins just said to forget it as they couldnt feel anything or where in pain, just how long do you think you would keep trying for? so then i get the blame for either him going of somewhere lese for sex, someone more exciting and receptive than i am, or the fact that his sex life has come to an end! so you see if things dont improve this is what i feel will happen to us, it would only be natural, that if he wasnt getting anything and some girl was offering it on a plate the chance to actually enjoy himself and his efforts where being rewarded for him to do this.

 

[orgasmless]

to explain things better, until last year i didnt know that women orgasmed, i didnt know i had a clit, i didnt know about a g spot. i knew nothing except that the sex we did have there was soemthing more to it than him getting his rocks off and then going to sleep. so after a while i just had enough and never did it for a long time, 10 years was the last stint. so when we started arguing about stuff and we where making plans for one of us to leave i eventually told him just how i felt about stuff and the fact that sex hurt me so much and it was only when i got checked out by the doctor that she asked about me orgasming, when i said i thought that only men did that she was shocked, but it answered her question. so ok ive learnt a bit more, but the trouble is that although ive got that info its no use to me til i can feel the stuff it talks about, thats the problem here i dont feel anything or pain.