Old Dogs can learn new tricks
My buddy Rosie and I have been around the block a few times and even though I think I know where every bush, tree and fire hydrant is located its always good to discover something new in this dog eat dog world. I never paid attention to the amount of pressure or really that I couldnt apply to much pressue when manual stimulating the G-spot. I would have never considered it nor have I ever read it in any of the gazillion sex improvment books or articles I have read. Maybe it was there I just didnt clue in till now. Of course no one told us this on the playground or during obedience training. Frankly my ways worked well but this is a great new trick to add to my dog and poney show.
There is just one draw back to this method. My hand wakes up the next morning and my fingers can barely move. Of course the little lady took quick notice and to help me save my energy and recover for my next performance I didnt have to lift a finger the rest of the day. I sort of liked being treated like a Big Dog again but just because I had to let my hand rest was no excuse to steal my channel changer and use that for me too. After all, I may be an old dog but dont try and steal my manhood and take my channel changer. God gave men two hands for a reason, one for the channel changer and one for our crotch. Duhh..women, I bet they think the reason Napoleon kept his hand in his vest was to play with his Winkie, every man knows it was so he had his channel changer ready when ESPN Sports Center came on.
I have since started letting my fingers do more walking, they exercise at the gym and pump iron. Of course Rosie likes that pumping thing but that is another story. Im lifting my beer mugs with two fingers now and have advanced from 12oz to 24 oz curls and for some reason all the ladies tend to be helping me work out the fingers and buy me more mugs to lift. Now women come up to me and instead of telling me to speak to the hand they want to speak to mine. Its all so confusing and happening so fast. Who would hav thunk that Rosie would be so sought after and admired. I guess the workouts help because women now write their numbers on my hand for me and unlike before none of them begin with the 911 prefix. Even if I get pissed off and shoot someone the finger, almost every time a line starts to form and some damn intercom is heard saying, now serving number..... Its also seemed to help women mothers be healthier. I dont know exactly how but unlike before when I started my foreplay with shadow puppet shows staring Mr. Happy, Ducky and the Bunny that they suddenly jumped out of bed remembering her mother was sick and hurried out the door still dressing, now their moms seem better because they never leave. I just wish they would quit pulling my pillow out from under my head and putting it under her pelvis to watch the show. Mr. Duck and Mr. Rabbit may not be Daffy and Bugs but Mr. Happy looks a lot like Elmer Fudd Im told. I guess women cant concentrate like men can and enjoy a good shadow puppet show or cartoon before the main attraction begins. Must be a woman thing because their mom's are the same way. Its also very clear to me that while Dogs may be mans best friend, ducks and rabbits are womens best friend now. Mr. Happy is jeleous. Just when he thinks its his turn, off the pillows she jumps and all thats left is a worn out duck and rabbit. Maybe if I put bunny ears on Mr. Happy he could be happy again too. Hmm...good idea..note to self.
Well, Thanks Mr. GGG for starting this tread and opening some doors to a few folks. You opened one for me. Although it still may be only during visiting hours, at least they untie one of my arms now and I dont have to wear the gag during group therapy anymore either.
My buddy Rosie and I have been around the block a few times and even though I think I know where every bush, tree and fire hydrant is located its always good to discover something new in this dog eat dog world. I never paid attention to the amount of pressure or really that I couldnt apply to much pressue when manual stimulating the G-spot. I would have never considered it nor have I ever read it in any of the gazillion sex improvment books or articles I have read. Maybe it was there I just didnt clue in till now. Of course no one told us this on the playground or during obedience training. Frankly my ways worked well but this is a great new trick to add to my dog and poney show.
There is just one draw back to this method. My hand wakes up the next morning and my fingers can barely move. Of course the little lady took quick notice and to help me save my energy and recover for my next performance I didnt have to lift a finger the rest of the day. I sort of liked being treated like a Big Dog again but just because I had to let my hand rest was no excuse to steal my channel changer and use that for me too. After all, I may be an old dog but dont try and steal my manhood and take my channel changer. God gave men two hands for a reason, one for the channel changer and one for our crotch. Duhh..women, I bet they think the reason Napoleon kept his hand in his vest was to play with his Winkie, every man knows it was so he had his channel changer ready when ESPN Sports Center came on.
I have since started letting my fingers do more walking, they exercise at the gym and pump iron. Of course Rosie likes that pumping thing but that is another story. Im lifting my beer mugs with two fingers now and have advanced from 12oz to 24 oz curls and for some reason all the ladies tend to be helping me work out the fingers and buy me more mugs to lift. Now women come up to me and instead of telling me to speak to the hand they want to speak to mine. Its all so confusing and happening so fast. Who would hav thunk that Rosie would be so sought after and admired. I guess the workouts help because women now write their numbers on my hand for me and unlike before none of them begin with the 911 prefix. Even if I get pissed off and shoot someone the finger, almost every time a line starts to form and some damn intercom is heard saying, now serving number..... Its also seemed to help women mothers be healthier. I dont know exactly how but unlike before when I started my foreplay with shadow puppet shows staring Mr. Happy, Ducky and the Bunny that they suddenly jumped out of bed remembering her mother was sick and hurried out the door still dressing, now their moms seem better because they never leave. I just wish they would quit pulling my pillow out from under my head and putting it under her pelvis to watch the show. Mr. Duck and Mr. Rabbit may not be Daffy and Bugs but Mr. Happy looks a lot like Elmer Fudd Im told. I guess women cant concentrate like men can and enjoy a good shadow puppet show or cartoon before the main attraction begins. Must be a woman thing because their mom's are the same way. Its also very clear to me that while Dogs may be mans best friend, ducks and rabbits are womens best friend now. Mr. Happy is jeleous. Just when he thinks its his turn, off the pillows she jumps and all thats left is a worn out duck and rabbit. Maybe if I put bunny ears on Mr. Happy he could be happy again too. Hmm...good idea..note to self.
Well, Thanks Mr. GGG for starting this tread and opening some doors to a few folks. You opened one for me. Although it still may be only during visiting hours, at least they untie one of my arms now and I dont have to wear the gag during group therapy anymore either.
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