Try This & Report Back

[RonnyJane]

I'm a squirter

My name is RonnyJane, and I am a squirter.

I squirted my first time many years ago. After that first one I started buying videos, books, and researching relentlessly on the internet for information.

While dating my last boyfriend, we should have put money into shower curtain stocks. I have squirted, I have gushed, I have dribbled...over and over and over. I think what helps me is that I'm a multiple kind of girl, I play a LOT and always have, I have very strong PC muscles, and my hormones are just right for this to occur. I think too that not all pussies are made the same. Some have larger G-spots than others, some are harder to reach than others.

I have squirted higher than my ex boyfriend's head. I have squirted with absolutely no stimulation except a hard spanking with a paddle. I have squirted by humping the bed and then him fingering me. I have squirted with simultaneous C, A and G stimulation (whoa doggie).

Let me tell you, I'd pay good money to do it daily. It is the most gloriously delightful feeling I have ever experienced. It renders me speechless, with my face and body twitching as if in seizure, and me not being able to function. I have squirted many many times in one sexual episode...don't stop after the first one! Keep going...they only get better!

When my boyfriend and I split up, I grieved the sex for two years. Well...and maybe grieved him a little bitty bit too (wink). It was not possible (I didn't think) for me to squirt on my own because I felt I didn't get hot enough. And believe you me, I tried, and I tried, and I tried, and tried some more.

Lucky for me, I was searching the Literotica store a couple of weeks ago and lo and behold...I saw a dildo that looked JUST LIKE MY EX BOYFRIEND. And it even had a SUCTION cup. The length, the girth, the curvature (ahhhhhh). The curve is important. It's the All American Whopper.

Last night I stuck that bad boy to my tub for the first time. I had been drinking. And I was horny as hell. I rode that sucker for only two minutes when I exploded. There she blows! And I rode it again and squirted...and again and again and again. (giggle)

Finally, I may get my "glow" back. There is NOTHING BETTER in life than female ejaculation. Nothing.

Thanks for this thread Mr. G. I haven't been around here for a few years and was surprised to see it still going strong. I think I posted on this thread back then about my first experience with squirting. No way could I read this entire thread...so I hope I have contributed.

 

[Mr.G]

Rj, Welcome Back. It's Been 6 Years !!!

HI *waves* Yes you posted once to this thread. It was a good'un and I saved it (which I DO with good'uns) so for the benefit of newbies and for Ol' times sake I shall dump your original here below.

Did you ever find a replacement Dom who could whack that bum and poke that G and drive you outta your skull ???

*****************************
from the 6th of JUNE 2003

I finally have some time to reply to this!
Ok. YES! This is the "secret" that all of my previous lovers never knew about...or me for that matter. This should be taught in school in my opinion.

The first time I was stroked internally (correctly) on my G-spot I gushed. This was about a year ago. My lover slowly, gently, brought me up until I was extremely horny. He would tirelessly make circles from my breasts down to my belly button...then down to my clit. Slowly! Gently! Barely touching me. He did this until I was almost screaming for release.

Then he would move from the clit and insert two fingers inside of me and *gently* stroke my G-spot. Not for long. Just mere seconds. And he would continue his external stroking. It was kind of rhythmic but always slowly. The more he stroked my G-spot the hornier I became. The hornier I became the rougher he got with it. Never too rough...but a gentle slope upwards. Up to my breasts, down to my bellybutton, further down to my clit, then quickly slip inside (2 fingers) and stroke then back out.

I completely lost control when he would go inside and literally thump my G spot twice. THUMP THUMP...then back out...never inside for long...just a few seconds. By the time I gushed I was literally holding his arm so he couldn't remove his fingers and he was really getting rough with the ol' G. That's when I gushed. Since his hand was inside of me I gushed...but didn't squirt.

So the next time...same lover...I squirted a LOT of fluid halfway across the room. I was giving him a bj, me on my knees, and he was stroking me much the same way. I was EXTREMELY turned on before any penetration occurred (I think that is VERY important). He came and seconds later I squirted. I could literally feel the glands filling up with fluid right before I squirted. It came from the left side of my pussy.

I normally lose control when I orgasm....meaning I tense up and everything.... but this time I told myself to relax and enjoy it....ride it out. So I mentally told myself to sort of hold back...or not get into it so much...and that's when I squirted. The feeling is almost indescribable. Out of control feeling. Blackness and stars and time stands still. WHEW!!! I was butter afterwards....couldn't stand up....couldn't think....couldn't move. Felt like crying but never did...I was too amazed as was he. The entire process took less than 5 minutes.

Next time I gushed...different lover but the same G-spot play technique. I was AGAIN on my knees....I see a pattern here. Maybe being on your knees would help with this? Who knows since everyone is different.

Over the course of 3 hours I had multiple mind-blowing orgasms...too many to count. I couldn't stand or talk...moaning and screaming was about it...close to fainting. I was completely dehydrated. It took several days to recuperate.

I have masturbated FOREVER and have never achieved this sort of orgasmic response...even being a lucky "multiples" woman. I still cannot achieve ejaculation by myself either.

Since having ejaculated...I did some research. I found a website that researchs orgasms.

www.actionlove.com

It's a hard read but well worth it. You may have to dig around to find some of his techniques. Look for his finger-plier method and sex positions. Wonderful information and I believe everything he says based on my own experience.

Another interesting thing he says is every woman is probably capable of ejaculating if the technique is done correctly. He goes on to say that chances are greater for ejaculation if the woman is ovulating (I was ovulating when I ejaculated). The woman must be highly aroused as well (just like me). So happy reading!!!

Great thread and it can really happen if done correctly!!

PS. This doctor on the actionlove website goes on to say that there are 7 levels of orgasm with three points of contact. The clit, G-spot and the "Epicenter" (a point deep inside the vagina near the cervix.) An ejaculation is a 7 on the orgasm scale. LOL I believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RonnyJane

 

[RonnyJane]

Hey thanks

Glad you re-posted it. And did I just mention "ex-boyfriend" four times in my post? Therapy baby. I actually named my new dildo "Therapy". No I'm currently S-I-N-G-L-E. Did I mention I'm single? And I squirt? (giggle)



p.s. I loved squirting on his face and watching it drip off his chin. And I also enjoyed riding him and squirting while moving all the way up to his face soaking his ass from top to bottom. Uh huh...oh yeah. That's some good stuff.

 

[Adakgirl]

I unfortunately have not had the opportunity to have a man give me a g-spot orgasm, but I have read a few techniques and none of them can compare to yours Mr.G.
I gave myself one accidentally during a long hard masturbation session about two years ago. I had been fucking myself in various positions for about an hour (one position was sticking the end of the toy between my mattress and box springs in the corner of my bed then getting down on all fours and backing my pussy onto it and giving myself a good hard doggie style fucking) with a big thick long inflexible dildo.
(I am sure after reading this threas that this is what must have inadvertently stimulated my G-spot, the dildo curve upwards and I had to raise my ass high to keep it in there under pressure as I worked my pussy back and forth on it)

I was just so into it, aroused to no end, but purposly not stimulating my clitoris in order to bring myself to orgasm as I usually did, I was keeping myself on the edge. Anyway at one point stood up and was watching some porn vid on my computer while continuing my vigorous fucking when all of a sudden I gushed out fluid big time, it gushed out of my pussy with such intensity and quite surprised me, I had never gushed before. As I watched my juices wide eyed... running down the inside of my thighs and pouring onto the floor... I was hit with the most amazing feeling I had ever felt in my 49yrs of life. A huge ..I'd equal it to a major tsunami wave of an orgasm erupted from my pussy and moved both ways up my body to my head and down my body to my feet simultaneously. I dropped the dildo and a long deep loud uncontrollable moan came out of my throat.

This was NOT anything like a fast hard intense throb throb pulse throb throb clitoral orgasm at all. The orgasmic waves once they hit top and bottom, they came right back up to my pussy, met and did something together that caused another more intense wave to immediately start again, and repeat the first ones course up and down.
I stood there in stark surprise and amazement... while these new, intense, fantastic feelings that I never knew existed within me, took complete control over my body.. my clit was not throbbing but rather my entire body including my brain and the soles of my feet pulsed and throbbed and the waves rolled and the waves themselves were orgasmic as they moved up and down and met in the middle and BOOM again and again and again.

My knees buckled and I crumpled to the floor, I had goosebumps now on the outside that were moving in unison with the waves on the inside and when they met my pussy just BEAT in a very slow steady rhythm like a big brass drum.
I am sure if I would have had a mirror I would have seen my eyes rolling back in their sockets. After about 5 minutes of this, it started to stabilize. I had the presence of mind to realize this was one of those G-spot orgasms everyone had been talking about.
The vestiges of orgasmic waves and beating lasted a full 45 minutes.
I was like HOLY FUCKinggggUNBELIEVABLE!

Oh how I have tried to make that happen again, but to no avail, I did feel my g-spot and know exactly where it is and it feels just like you described it , a rough circular area wrinkled on the surface like a walnut. I stumbled upon this thread and you can bet your life as soon as I find a male willing to thumb my spot using your technique..I will have the thrill of that kind of full body orgasm again. After you have had one, clitoral orgasms are like forever after somewhat...disappointing.

 

[Mr.G]

Add On Question

I posted a page or two back on the MOTIVATION women have for much of their sexuality, how it is sometimes discovered by them very late in life - things that really make their tummies' churn with erotic excitement when they think or fantasize about their partners acting like that. I shouldn't use the word "acting" there because it is how they WANT to be treated not have some guy "act" like that but not BE like that.

Women deep down if they allow their deepest desire to creep out into the light of day NEED to feel adored, cherished, lusted after and ultimately taken and for some in what many would describe as brutally animalistic ... not caring what, at that point in time feels good for her but just needing to HAVE her, enter her NOW - anywhere, any orifice .. just a frenzy of lust and passion.

The question for you ladies is: Can this be achieved ONLY by whatever intercourse he chooses? What about the G? If he (she- whatever - her SO) is so filled with lust but chooses to administer G-Gasms instead of giving her a good hard crazy pounding via PIV intercourse would it be AS deeply satisfying? Would you feel AS taken and brutalized, controlled and dominated as you would if he just fawked the living hell out of you? Does that feeling of satisfaction from being taken like that .... MADE to orgasm over and over and over again ... does that MATCH, surpass or not come close to the primal act if intercourse using his DICK?

I know the answers will be varied because obviously women are turned on by different things and different degrees. Some will read this and say "What a jerk. I NEVER want to be brutalized." OK so you don't get what I'm asking is all, IMHO.

I've spent a lot of effort trying to add 2+2 so I understand and so more guys and at a younger age, can give their women what their women actually neeed (not all the time but enough to make them feel worthy of their SO's LUST) to feel this special satisfaction that only comes from deep in their brain. SO I'm curious if there is an unbreakable bond between that feeling and achieving it on the end of a dick or can the GSPOT Technique work just as well in some cases??

 

[Shadowann2]

I posted a page or two back on the MOTIVATION women have for much of their sexuality, how it is sometimes discovered by them very late in life - things that really make their tummies' churn with erotic excitement when they think or fantasize about their partners acting like that. I shouldn't use the word "acting" there because it is how they WANT to be treated not have some guy "act" like that but not BE like that.

Women deep down if they allow their deepest desire to creep out into the light of day NEED to feel adored, cherished, lusted after and ultimately taken and for some in what many would describe as brutally animalistic ... not caring what, at that point in time feels good for her but just needing to HAVE her, enter her NOW - anywhere, any orifice .. just a frenzy of lust and passion.

The question for you ladies is: Can this be achieved ONLY by whatever intercourse he chooses? What about the G? If he (she- whatever - her SO) is so filled with lust but chooses to administer G-Gasms instead of giving her a good hard crazy pounding via PIV intercourse would it be AS deeply satisfying? Would you feel AS taken and brutalized, controlled and dominated as you would if he just fawked the living hell out of you? Does that feeling of satisfaction from being taken like that .... MADE to orgasm over and over and over again ... does that MATCH, surpass or not come close to the primal act if intercourse using his DICK?

I know the answers will be varied because obviously women are turned on by different things and different degrees. Some will read this and say "What a jerk. I NEVER want to be brutalized." OK so you don't get what I'm asking is all, IMHO.

I've spent a lot of effort trying to add 2+2 so I understand and so more guys and at a younger age, can give their women what their women actually neeed (not all the time but enough to make them feel worthy of their SO's LUST) to feel this special satisfaction that only comes from deep in their brain. SO I'm curious if there is an unbreakable bond between that feeling and achieving it on the end of a dick or can the GSPOT Technique work just as well in some cases??

No orgasm can compare to the feeling of a good hard pounding IMO. But that's just me.

 

[Noor]

For me, the mind, body and soul connection is still the best.

Penetration is not essential, losing yourself in the other person is but it doesn't have to be completely physical.

I don't think there is just one main fantasy women have about their lovers.

How do you feel about being "brutalized" Mr. G?

 

[MoeDick]

I think sometimes age is a factor in being able to release control and get the G-gasam. Trust in the partner is also a big part.

 

[Mr.G]

Weird- Banned For Life

Nothing to do with this TOPIC but some of you know that I participate in a couple of other sites where similar threads exists - eg. What am I squirting?, Where's my "G"Spot", "I can't cum during intercourse and my SO thinks he's too small. HELP!" etc etc etc. Several of the sites I've gone to on INVITATION because there was an ongoing discussion on some similar topic and NOBODY had a clue what they were posting about and still giving "advice" to somebody who was in distress regarding this wonderful body function called ORGASM.

ANyway, recently I was invited by a several women to join :

http://www.womens-health.com/boards/sex/

as there were ongoing debates on GSPOT ORGASMS. I posted a couple of times and once dropped the URL for HERE as a further ref for information on the topic. I was warned by a mod never to do that because they considered it SPAM. A poster asked for more info so I didn't give them the URL but instead, directions:
Literotica, Boards, HOW TO, TRY THIS.

I tried to log on this morning and got this note.

You have been banned for the following reason:
inappropriate comments, disrespect, outbound links, spammy posts, troll

Date the ban will be lifted: Never

Interesting, isn't it? A WOMEN'S site that consider itself SO important and singularly devoted to women's issues that a ref to a site that deals with many similar issues and provides answers to questions their members aren't finding there, would BAN a dangerous dude LIKE ME for suggesting the TRY THIS thread for answers/ideas. I don't know if it's catty, political or that they're just so insecure in their own abilities that any other site must be blocked. WEIRD!!

 

[MoeDick]

Their loss our gain!

 

[Mr.G]

I don't remember

if I posted this idea in the TRY THIS thread. I did post it on another thread discussing G and KINK and your fav research subject.

*******************************************

Don't forget that during sex and during a woman's heightened neuronic response, her pain threshold triples. In other words if you do something painful to her while she's sipping tea and discussing which moron we voted for she'd likely have to arrested for assault. At the very least you'd get a frying pan (HOT) up the side of the head to dissuade you from ever contemplating such a move any time during the rest of your present life time - that's if you ever woke up!

Do the same deed (pinch, slap, scratch) after you've sucked on her clit for 5 minutes or, as I like to suggest give her a dozen or more raging G-Gasms from poking her in the right place and she likely wouldn't notice if you sawed off her left leg!!! They do NOT feel pain when they are THAT aroused. (*disclaimer* for the complete maroons out there - I'm yoking. Do NOT attempt to saw of her left - or right - leg to see if I'm telling the truth here - try a finger first)

Try THIS.

Get some GINGER root from a store. Carve a sprig off - about the size of a small finger. Do NOT sharpen the ends but whittle it down so it can slide into tight places easily (evil grin) then proceed just like you are "normal" and don't really read perverted ideas on these Family threads.

Do the suck thang. She'll be turned on like crazy. Do the GSpot thang ... give her a half dozen good screamers. Do 'em FAST and hard so she is barely able to catch her breath. Stop for a sec and (you have to prepare this in advance* see above instructions) and use it at the right moment) . With the abundant moisture provided by your partner, wet one end of the ginger. Insert it where the sun don't shine (that's her BUM for dunderheads!) Wait about a minute. After about that length of time the sprig of ginger will begin to feel - to HER - like you've just inserted a CURLING IRON in her butt. This is sulphur molecules bonding with the base of her nerve endings just like hot sauce works on your tongue. It is organic and non toxic. Maybe ask her if she likes GINGER in her Chinese food first. If she tells you she goes into anaphylactic SHOCK if ginger gets near her then think of something ELSE kinky to do to her. Use your imagination. Otherwise her bum is going to BE ON FIRE. Continue giving her G-Gasms. Swat her bum like you're trying to kill a swarm of wasps that have just landed there and you're saving her from being "stung". Tell her there was a wasp on her bum. It'll confuse her. Splatter another (imaginary) wasp. Kill the whole nest.... whack whack whack whack - you get the idea! Her bum will be BURNING. Her ass will be BURNING and she'll be G-Gasming all through this. Her brain will be TURBO-CHARGED. Her brain will melt. She will be a mindless blob of sweating, twitching flesh trying to remember what planet she is on and what her name used to be.

AT the end, remove the sprig of ginger. Have some COLD cold cream on hand. Rub it all over her cheeks. Tell her she's a GOOD girl for letting you kill all those nasty bugs what landed on her behind and ask her if her anus is recovering from the one wasp who made it past you and stung her rosebud. If she doesn't laugh at ALL your joke(s) pretend you're mad at her and start again.

EXTRA points will be handed out for IMAGINATION.

No matter how much FUN she had (or you) avoid doing this every damn night. The next night give her a slow gentle deeep tongue lashing, let her cum deep and slow and then cuddle. Tell her "tonight is a freebie because you were so good last night."

 

[Actualizer]

Synopsis?

HI, I'm a late comer here.

This is a fascinating thread, but I simply do not have time to read 116 pages online right now.

Should I start with the technique outlined in the first few pages or has it developed significantly in the ensuing 114 pages?

Thanks.

Best Regards,
Seb

 

[Noor]

Mr G if someone tried that ginger thing on me or anything else like without my permission, they would be out of my life, if we both survived the night.

Seriously.

 

[Mr.G]

I would agree that this or anything else kinky is NOT what one should attempt on a first date. I likely woudn't even attempt to "force" 50 G-Gasms out of a lady on a first date.

without my permission

Says it all.

In a loving sexually charged relationship where kink has been discussed, trust has been established and BOTH have agreed to relinquishing control and experiencing the consequences then something as innocuous as a ginger sprig up one's backside would NOT IMHO be worthy of a hangin' .... or a gelding.

 

[Noor]

I would agree that this or anything else kinky is NOT what one should attempt on a first date. I likely woudn't even attempt to "force" 50 G-Gasms out of a lady on a first date.



Says it all.

In a loving sexually charged relationship where kink has been discussed, trust has been established and BOTH have agreed to relinquishing control and experiencing the consequences then something as innocuous as a ginger sprig up one's backside would NOT IMHO be worthy of a hangin' .... or a gelding.

It could be not so innocuous, perhaps one should find out the reaction to raw fresh ginger on other mucus membranes such as one's mouth first.

 

[Mr.G]

^^^^^^^

I think I covered that ...

Maybe ask her if she likes GINGER in her Chinese food first. If she tells you she goes into anaphylactic SHOCK if ginger gets near her then think of something ELSE kinky to do to her.

 

[greeneyed_Lady]

I think sometimes age is a factor in being able to release control and get the G-gasam. Trust in the partner is also a big part.

Yes. I agree.

Case in point. I've been following this thread for a while. I've had a few conversations behind the scenes with Mr G. Two nights ago I had what I believe to be, my first squirting orgasm. Yes. Yes. It's true. It finally happened. But not how I expected or anticipated it, and not using Mr G's technique (and that ginger thing.. evil evil man!!).

To save time and space here there were several things that played key roles. First off we spent about 12 hrs sending dirty text messages back and forth (engages the mind and prepares the body). As a result I'd soaked thru the panties and the pants about 8-10 hrs before he even laid a single hand on me. I increased my water intake to offset what was seeping out of me... hehe. When he finally arrived there was lots of slow, torturous build up. My trust in him played a very significant part of this. We started with some slow kisses and he explored me with his fingers. Then restrained me in a face down position and for the next 20-40 min (I was blindfolded and not sure of time) he alternated between teasing me with different toys (glass, chain - see the Chain Trick thread for clarification) as well as his fingers, mouth, cock. He slid into my ass and took his time fucking me. He had me flip over and he started slowly to work the chain into me using his thumb. Again, alternating his touch using fingers and mouth on me. Once he'd gotten as much chain into me as he could, he slipped the We-Vibe in (and fumbled with the on switch!! Hehehe.. ).. then repositioned himself to be able to insert his cock in as well. We'd done this before and it's an incredible feeling that I love. He then leaned forward into a more traditional missionary position and slowly began grinding into me. There's not a whole lot of room, and full strokes are difficult, but the grinding works really well. I honestly don't remember all the details.. I just remember there was this really wonderful depth to the build up at this point and I kept thinking.. 'don't stop.. please please please don't stop...' and without me having to say it he didn't stop (he's a good boy like that sometimes!). He'd slowly brought me to the edge of the cliff and was letting me work up my courage to step off the edge... I remember a fleeting thought about asking him to release my hand so I could use it to cum with, but it was so fleeting it barely registered. The sensation of our bodies grinding together was crazy intense. Then it happened. The first wave hit... and as it did he lifted up off of me and reached down and yanked... almost literally ripping a second scream from my throat.. he pulled that chain out in one smooth motion and with it came a massive gush of heat and wetness. At first I thought it was just the heat of the chain coming out of me.. until I got up off the bed and saw the massive puddle left behind.

For the record... I'm 40... he's 25.. we've been together for about 18 mo (at the date of this posting). Why him? Why now? Many reasons. The trust is there now that wasn't there before. The other thing I noted as I've thought about it the last two days.. is that the internal script/dialogue that is normally present during my sexcapades was missing that night. There was no "I wish he'd do this" or "I hope I can cum" or any of the usual chatter that normally occupies space in my head. There's been some speculation on that between us... the fact that I'd essentially given him all the control (omg.. surprise surprise) that night and beyond one expectation I let him guide the play... I'd laid out several things that I've thoroughly enjoyed using in the past, along with some newer ones not yet tested. He picked what and when and how. He's learned how to play me like a violin, and that showed.

Now.. I'm anxious to see if it can be repeated... hehehe..

 

[Mr.G]

Eureeeeka !!!!

greeneyed_Lady, Adakgirl, Noor, Shadowann2 ... I want to thank you and all the others for keeping this thread going with all the GREAT posts and descriptions. Each and every one adds to the validity of the "Technique" and any and all combinations and variations of the same general idea.

So many couples still don't know ANYTHING about this. Some threads on some sites show much more sexual ignorance than what is typically shown in here so it is even more important to share the URL and / or the information.

Some posts and PMs that have been sent show another aspect to this GSpot / gushing thing that should also be much more widely known and that is that the squirting / gushing / ejaculating phenomena IS NORMAL. I've received waaay too many notes telling of physical abuse even divorce because their husbands / lovers thought they'd just urinated on them.

The G-Gasms are FUN and most of you (older) women who enjoy this with a partner testify that these orgasms generally leave you COMPLETELY satiated, feeling loved and cared for in a way that improves, dramatically sometimes, your entire relationship - not just what happens between you in the bedroom.

With so many people NOT knowing ANYTHING about ejaculating women it is even more important to share this info too. Post to other threads if you can find the time. There are always questions on this subject and some of the answers are beyond ridiculous!!

Once AGAIN .. THANKS to all for keeping this alive and more informative that just about ANY other site on the NET dealing in such matters. And it's all FREE too.

I unfortunately have not had the opportunity to have a man give me a g-spot orgasm, but I have read a few techniques and none of them can compare to yours Mr.G.

I gave myself one accidentally ..... I was just so into it, aroused to no end, but purposly not stimulating my clitoris in order to bring myself to orgasm as I usually did, I was keeping myself on the edge. Anyway at one point stood up and was watching some porn vid on my computer while continuing my vigorous fucking when all of a sudden I gushed out fluid big time, it gushed out of my pussy with such intensity and quite surprised me, I had never gushed before. As I watched my juices wide eyed... running down the inside of my thighs and pouring onto the floor... I was hit with the most amazing feeling I had ever felt in my 49yrs of life. A huge ..I'd equal it to a major tsunami wave of an orgasm erupted from my pussy and moved both ways up my body to my head and down my body to my feet simultaneously. I dropped the dildo and a long deep loud uncontrollable moan came out of my throat.

This was NOT anything like a fast hard intense throb throb pulse throb throb clitoral orgasm at all. The orgasmic waves once they hit top and bottom, they came right back up to my pussy, met and did something together that caused another more intense wave to immediately start again, and repeat the first ones course up and down.

I stood there in stark surprise and amazement... while these new, intense, fantastic feelings that I never knew existed within me, took complete control over my body.. my clit was not throbbing but rather my entire body including my brain and the soles of my feet pulsed and throbbed and the waves rolled and the waves themselves were orgasmic as they moved up and down and met in the middle and BOOM again and again and again.

My knees buckled and I crumpled to the floor, I had goosebumps now on the outside that were moving in unison with the waves on the inside and when they met my pussy just BEAT in a very slow steady rhythm like a big brass drum.
I am sure if I would have had a mirror I would have seen my eyes rolling back in their sockets. After about 5 minutes of this, it started to stabilize. I had the presence of mind to realize this was one of those G-spot orgasms everyone had been talking about. The vestiges of orgasmic waves and beating lasted a full 45 minutes. I was like HOLY FUCKinggggUNBELIEVABLE!

I stumbled upon this thread and you can bet your life as soon as I find a male willing to thumb my spot using your technique..I will have the thrill of that kind of full body orgasm again. After you have had one, clitoral orgasms are like forever after somewhat...disappointing.

 

[Mr.G]

All You Ever Wanted To Know Erh... Newscientist - Not Kidding

I have some VERY exciting news boys and girls. There is growing evidence that sex researchers are getting close to finding the answers as to whether the GSPOT exists or not - AND female ejaculation ... whether it is indeed that dreaded pee pee or not. We wait anxiously.

Perhaps they have been reading this thread. Probably not as they are still NOT sure but SOME evidence seems to suggest that some women DO have GSpots and those who do - providing the test subjects are not CADAVERS (which they used in one recent study) - then manipulating this area CAN sometimes produce a ... a .... wait fort it .... an ORGASM. YES, it's true. Even better these same tireless and dedicated RESEARCHERS are now TEACHING some women who they believe DO have GSpots, how to make that li'll puppy BARK. One day they may even realize that pup can BARK ALL NIGHT LONG if ya's know where to tickle it. Oh the EXCITEMENT. WOOOF!! How long before they putt 2 and 2 together and even discover the COMBO-GASM ?? Wouldn't it be exciting to be a dedicated SCIENTIST and have ALL these things to DISCOVER and publish papers on? Stuff that NOBODY ever knew before they made the discovery!!! WOW!!

I must stress that these are preliminary findings so don't get your hopes up too much. It could, after all, be a malicious myth perpetrated by some to keep women in their proper place. In my case that would be face down over my lap getting G'ed and spanked and G'ed and G'ed some more until she is quite insane .... but what do I know? I'm NOT a scientist.

Anyway. Here is the article in NEWSCIENTIST so it isn't like it's DAVE'S GSPOT LAB and PIZZA PARLOR. Step in ladies.


*************
A commentary from an adjoining URL

The G spot is real

The G spot is a small region in the vagina that, if stimulated, can produce wildly intense orgasms – or so the popular claim goes. However, for decades, strong evidence for the region's existence was harder to find than the spot itself.

However, in 2008, an Italian research team found anatomical differences between women who could have G-spot orgasms and women who couldn't; apparently solving the mystery. The researchers have since begun teaching women with G spots how to put them to use.
http://www.newscientist.com/article...nce-has-revealed-about-the-female-orgasm.html
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Everything you always wanted to know about female ejaculation (but were afraid to ask)



WHEN the British Board of Film Classification ordered 6 minutes and 12 seconds of material cut from British Cum Queens in 2002, they found themselves under attack from an unlikely quarter: a group of feminists.

The offending segment showed some of the female participants apparently ejaculating fluid from their genitals on orgasm. The film board stated that female ejaculation did not exist, so the actresses must have been urinating. And urinating on another actor on film is banned under the UK's Obscene Publications Act.

The group Feminists Against Censorship marshalled all the scientific evidence they could find to prove that some women do in fact ejaculate. The film board eventually backed down from its complete denial of the phenomenon, stating that female ejaculation was a "controversial and much debated area".

It was only a partial climbdown, however, as the film board insisted that the scenes in question were "nothing other than straightforward urination masquerading as ejaculation". In their defence, most pornography scenes that depict women ejaculating are indeed staged. Either the fluid is put into the vagina beforehand off-camera, or the actresses are simply urinating.

The dispute raises an intriguing question. In the 21st century, when human biology has been investigated right down to the genetic level, how can the existence of female ejaculation still be open to debate?

Medical textbooks are silent on this aspect of female physiology and most physicians never learn anything of it, unless of course they experience it themselves or witness it in their partners.

In the past few years, however, there has been an upsurge of research into the female sexual response. It seems that, even today, the human body may be harbouring a few surprises. (Could this be? Mr.G)

Although still controversial, many scientists now accept that some women can ejaculate some kind of fluid during sexual arousal or orgasm. Just how common it is, what the fluid is, and whether it serves any kind of function are some of the most hotly debated questions of sex research today, and I am playing a small part in helping to investigate them.

Many historical texts, such as the Kama Sutra, spoke about female "semen", as did writers, including the Greek physician Hippocrates. Sometimes the writers may have been referring to everyday vaginal secretions, which increase during sexual arousal. However, there are several references to something more akin to ejaculation. In the 17th century, the Dutch physician and anatomist Regnier De Graaf spoke of "liquid as usually comes from the pudenda in one gush".

In the last century, Ernst Gräfenberg, the German doctor who gave his name to the controversial G spot, drew attention to female ejaculation in a 1950 paper published in The International Journal of Sexology. "This convulsory expulsion of fluids occurs always at the acme of orgasm and simultaneously with it," he wrote. "Occasionally the production of fluids is so profuse that a large towel has to be spread under the woman to prevent the bed sheets getting soiled."

Most people did not take the paper seriously and thought Gräfenberg was probably describing a type of incontinence. It is certainly true that a few women experience loss of bladder control during sex, sometimes at the moment of penetration or at orgasm. But some who end up being investigated and even surgically treated for such "coital incontinence" may in fact be experiencing ejaculation. (And probably some who think they ejaculate may in fact be leaking urine.) (mostly vice versa, is my guess, ya moron. MR.G)

Ground-breaker

It is unknown how common genuine female ejaculation might be, or even whether it occurs solely on orgasm or merely during heightened sexual arousal. Just as with men's semen, women who believe that they are ejaculating report great variation in the nature and volume of the fluid produced. It can range from clear to milky-white in colour, and the amount of fluid can range from a few drops to more than a quarter of a cup.

The real ground-breaker came in 1981, when renowned US sexologists Beverly Whipple and John Perry published a case report of a woman apparently happy to ejaculate under laboratory conditions. Watched by a team of researchers, the woman was vaginally stimulated by her husband until she reached orgasm, climaxed, and then ejaculated, releasing noticeable amounts of fluid.

According to Whipple, when Philadelphia gynaecologist Martin Weisberg saw their report he said: "Bull... I spend half my waking hours examining, cutting apart, putting together, removing or rearranging female reproductive organs... Women don't ejaculate."

In response, Whipple offered to set Weisberg up with a personal demonstration. The following is Weisberg's description of what he witnessed, which was later included in Whipple and her co-author's bestselling book, The G Spot and Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality: "The subject seemed to perform a Valsalva manoeuvre [bearing down as if starting to defecate] and seconds later several cc's of milky fluid shot out of the urethra."

Impressive as that demonstration sounds, it is interesting to note that the fluid appeared to emerge from the urethra, the tube that drains urine from the bladder to an exit near the entrance of the vagina (see diagram). Could it have been urine after all?

Not according to chemical analysis of the fluid, carried out by Whipple and a few others since then. They found the ejaculate contained very low levels of urea and creatinine, the two main chemical hallmarks of urine.

One marker it did contain, however, was prostate-specific antigen, or PSA. That's the same chemical produced by the prostate gland in men.

The male prostate is usually around the size of a walnut, weighing about 23 grams. It surrounds the urethra like a doughnut and is encased by a fibromuscular sheet, which contracts during ejaculation to help expel prostatic fluid into the urethra, where it mixes with the other components of semen.

Less widely known is that women have prostate tissue too. And this, it seems, is the best candidate for the source of female ejaculate. Also known as the Skene's glands or the paraurethral glands, in 2001 the Federative Committee on Anatomical Terminology officially renamed these structures the "female prostate".

The female prostate seems to vary in size and shape much more than the male version, with some women lacking any appreciable amount of prostate tissue, according to autopsy studies by Slovakian pathologist Milan Zaviacic. This may explain women's differing experiences.

G spot

If the tissue is there at all it lies next to, or sometimes surrounds, the urethra, which is adjacent to the vagina's anterior wall. In other words, if the woman is lying on her back, the prostate is directly above the uppermost wall of her vagina.

This is roughly the same area as the G spot, the part of the vagina that is particularly sensitive to stimulation, although even the G spot's existence is controversial. Assuming there is such a thing, however, it is beginning to look to many sexologists as if the G spot is just the name for the best place to stimulate a woman's prostate. Variation in the amount of prostate tissue could explain why not all women find stimulation of this area arousing - in other words, whether or not they have a G spot (New Scientist, 23 February 2008, p 6).
The G spot is just the name for the best place to stimulate a woman's prostate

When anatomy textbooks show the female prostate - and not all do - the gland tissue is sometimes shown with ducts draining fluid to two pinhole-sized openings next to the urethra, just above the vagina. Others, however, suggest there may be as many as 20 ducts, and that they drain into the urethra, near its external opening (as shown above).

One of the more interesting reports on female ejaculation was published in 2007 by a team led by Florian Wimpissinger, an Austrian urologist at Rudolfstiftung Hospital in Vienna (The Journal of Sexual Medicine, vol 4, p 1388).

Two women in their 40s came to the attention of the researchers after they attended a sexual medicine clinic because of "significant fluid expulsion during orgasm". The women agreed to produce samples of the fluid by masturbation in the lab. When analysed, this fluid was found to be chemically distinct from urine, with high PSA and other features more akin to male ejaculate.

Ultrasound scans showed that both women had large prostate glands. One woman's scan showed "a hyperintense structure surrounding the entire length of the urethra", which "closely resembles that of the male prostate", according to the authors. By inserting a fine flexible tube with a camera on the end into the urethra, the researchers could see a duct exiting just inside the entrance to the urethra.

The team has another paper due to be published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine next month, describing how they used MRI scans to investigate the prostate of seven women who attended a urology clinic. In this study, however, the team did not find a correlation between prostate size and the ability to ejaculate. Larger studies of this kind are obviously needed.

Partly thanks to the growing body of research in this area, there seems to be increasing awareness of female ejaculation among the general public. Some sex educators provide workshops claiming to teach women how to ejaculate (as well as how to discover their G spots and have more orgasms).

One question that is rarely addressed, however, is whether female ejaculation has a biological function. Not every aspect of our physiology has to have such a role (see New Scientist, 19 April 2008, p 26). For example, men are thought to have nipples only because women need them, and male and female embryos develop from the same body plan. Some have even cited this as the reason why women orgasm. Perhaps female ejaculation has a similar explanation.

On the other hand, it is tempting to speculate about what purpose female ejaculation could fulfil. Whipple and Perry have suggested that female ejaculation evolved to combat infections of the urethra and bladder. Many secretions and fluids produced by the human body, such as saliva, tears, and indeed male ejaculate, are awash with compounds that inhibit the growth of bacteria.
It is tempting to speculate about what evolutionary function female ejaculation could fulfil

Urinary tract infections are relatively common in women, and sometimes arise from bacteria spread to the urethra during sex. A gush of antimicrobial fluid at the entrance to the urethra around the time of sex might help fight off such bacteria.

Along with my colleagues I am investigating whether female ejaculate contains some of the antimicrobial chemicals present in semen, such as zinc. If so, then this fascinating and long-neglected phenomenon might turn out to be more than just a sexual curiosity. (what a concept !!! MR.G)

Female ejaculation: A beginner's guide

The existence of female ejaculation has long been controversial, but many scientists and doctors now accept that it does occur, at least in a few women.

New Scientist is making no promises, but for women who would like this experience, here are some tips from US sex educator Deborah Sundahl.

* Start with whatever techniques are normally best for arousal, for example stimulating the clitoris.
* Next move on to the female prostate, or the G spot – it's probably the same thing. If the woman is lying on her back, this is directly above the uppermost wall of the vagina, or nearest to her tummy. This area should be stimulated with one or two fingers making a "come here" motion.
* It is normal if the woman feels like she needs to urinate, as the prostate tissue surrounds the urethra, the tube through which urine leaves the bladder. She should ignore it and keep going.
* With time and practice, a woman may experience orgasm and ejaculate.

Sharon Moalem is an evolutionary biologist and neurogeneticist at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City. His book, How Sex Works, was published this month in the US by HarperCollins


http://www.newscientist.com/article...emale-ejaculation-but-were-afraid-to-ask.html

 

[mmw011]

I have been a lurker for a long time and finally I am going to post!
Mr G , you have hit the nail on the head.with the info about female orgasm
Your thread here is fabulous!

I am so relieved to read that I have what I have been experiencing is female ejaculation.
I have had gushing orgasms for a number of years. I am in mid life always loved sex and lots of it ,have two kids and a fantastic husband who is very sensitive to what I need to orgasm.
I am now at the point where I am experiencing something new,...
After we have had a lot of very satisfying sex in a few days, I have this kind of tingling sensation in the vagina/clitoris area. Maybe its in the pubic/ pelvic area.????
Its like a mini vibration.
I am reading this thread and the area is vibrating away as I type ( probably because I am very horny!).

Its like having a mini vibrator in the pubic area which vibrates for about 10-15 seconds, over and over.
If I squeeze my legs together when they are bent a bit it will happen again if I am squeezing around the clitoris.

Have you come across this sensation before?
I am totally honest here, and I cant find any info about this anywhere.
I have researched female ejaculation for many years but I cant find anything on this.

BTW-- I am not complaining , I love the sensation ,I would like to know what is actually happening

 

[mmw011]

As the "research" continues a question has cum up that may be fascinating to clarify.

WE know that clitoral O's produce a strong sucking UP action by both the muscles and even the neck of the uterus ... film of it reminds you of some beast at a watering hole lowering itss mouth to sip the water. In this case SPERM.

We all know that G and A spot O's result in VERY strong push OUT muscle contractions.

If they BOTH are triggered at the same time - clitoral AND Gspot - what do the vaginal muscles do. Push out, suck in, flap like a duck that's just landed in a leash free park? WHAT


Ladies. any feedback would be greatly appreciated. The RESEARCH continues.

When I orgasm big time, the whole pelvic area draws in , the vagina lifts up and inwards ,and sucks the penis in very hard and clenches it , according to my DH.I can feel the intensity inside and need everywhere , the build up is all consuming , often, I am in my own world and the need for release is extreme.
When I orgasm there is an involuntary need to push out, which I do and then at that point , the gush begins and comes in long wet waves.
During this time ,DH pushes his penis in hard , holds me by the hips and rides it out.
When the gushing is over, the whole area, vagina and pelvic relaxes , the release has happened and I am exhausted ,and its over.
Often I cry , because it has been so intense, its over and I want it again!

The very best position for this , for me , is entering from the rear, with me on my knees and my hips positioned up high, having my nipples rub on the sheets is also excellent.
Having thought about this , this position would help the penis land right on the Gspot, then I am absolutely helpless.
I lose control completely.

I wonder sometimes if the uterus is involved here as well , in the whole over- whelming experience because often I will have uterine cramps for a day or 2 afterwards. Period pain is very similar.

Some- times if I am having a big day the next day , I don't let this kind of orgasm happen because I will be crampy and achy . I usually take some period pain medication because it helps a great deal to get on with the day!

I post this without a word of a lie but it has taken me a long time to get to this point.
Lots of trying new things , being in the right frame of mind is very important.
I can orgasm often without the big one as described above.
I must add that the intensity of the sex experience improved dramatically for me after I began having a Brazilian wax.
That made a huge difference. I would recommend it. The sensations magnify 200%
Its rare that I have sex without an orgasm, but if I don't , ( say the kids are around and I am worried they will interrupt, )I don't mind because I know I will the next time.
Sometimes its nice to have easy relaxing , no pressure sex , its great for tension release , winding down , and , if i cant sleep.Its also great for emotional connection with DH.
Its all good

 

[Mr.G]

Some feedback

I HAVE heard of this but it seems to be rare. Or perhaps just UNDER-reported.

When you were younger did you ever get so horny your teeth were chattering? I remember being like that a few times. It was just a situation where your nerves were being OVERstimulated and there was nothing for the body to do but make mascles contract ... somewhere. Teeth were good. I also remember (when I was younger) a fast pulse at the base of my penis that felt really really good but didn't seem to do anything until I became physically aroused. Hot water in a shower made it happen sometimes but thank Gawd it never produced an erection by itself - the guys gym shower room was NOT a good place to get a woody! Other times just kissing a girl would set up that vibration. Pleasant? Yes.

I have NO IDEA which muscle, muscles or arterial contractions are happening to cause this "vibration" but I've had a few PMs describing EXACTLY what you write about so it isn't anything scary. It certainly wasn't for me. Long time sin ce it happened but I do remember that. Perhaps your body is just preparing and there is a muscle down there or an artery which pulses happily in anticipation.

Every time somebody posts an interesting response like this I realize how LITTLE knowledge we actually have about female sexual physiology. So much RESEARCH still needs to be done. So little FUNDING!!!

After we have had a lot of very satisfying sex in a few days, I have this kind of tingling sensation in the vagina/clitoris area. Maybe its in the pubic/ pelvic area.????
Its like a mini vibration.
I am reading this thread and the area is vibrating away as I type ( probably because I am very horny!). Its like having a mini vibrator in the pubic area which vibrates for about 10-15 seconds, over and over. If I squeeze my legs together when they are bent a bit it will happen again if I am squeezing around the clitoris.

Have you come across this sensation before?

********

Ummm ... I believe that would be your Aspot. Your GSpot in that position would be tucked BEHIND your pubic bone. If you were on your knees "standing" straight up he might hit your G from behind but if your face is in the sheets it'd be your ASpot. The response IS the same generally as working that GSpot and congrats for finding a position that allows it to happen so consistently. So many posts and PMs suggest they hit it ONCE - seven YEARS ago and haven't been able to repeat it. Arggh How frustrating is THAT?

You mention ORGASM. As in ONE HUGE one.

Often I cry , because it has been so intense, its over and I want it again!

Have you tried the THUMB and the GSpot thang as per the "Technique" ? Your orgasms sound mind-blowing but I'm wondering if your partner has tried the ongoing series of G-Gasms or would they be too intense for you considering how intense your "normal" ones are. Just wondering. If you want another one then this'll work for you like nothing imaginable. Dial what you want and let your SO make your dreams cum true.

Having thought about this , this position would help the penis land right on the Gspot, then I am absolutely helpless.

Have you tried the Combo-Gasm? Gspot AND oral? BOTH types of O's hitting at the same time? You sound like you and your partner have tried and are willing to try, explore and research so IF the top of your head doesn't blow completely OFF then I would recommend the COMBO-GASMS for a unique change from your routine orgasms. Wouldn't want that shit to get boring now would you?

Also you should be aware that although the bunz up kneeling works for your ASpot with his erection it may be hard to reach your GSpot with it so maybe try the THUMBS first ... teach yourself what that feels like and then mount up and go for a ride, tilt your hips so his erection IS hitting your G and then go for as long as you can keep moving ... which may not be that long considering how intensely you cum anyway.

Don't forget to come back and share and THANKS for a GREAT post.

 

[mmw011]

Thanks Mr G

I was hesitant to type so much private stuff, now I wont be worried.
Yes , the mini vibration is very pleasant!!

Yes when I was young I was very aware of being horny and learnt to masturbate early.Out of necessity, I wasnt always with a partner.

I think the vibration thing is muscles reacting still. I think its also anticipation as well, as you suggested .,When I am very sexually stimulated it seems to happen.

When you descibe the postion to hit the Aspot , my face is on the bed and the hips are high so you are describing the position to hit the Aspot every time.I seem to know how to get that spot each time, and then I really gush.Bring on the towels!!I need to read and find out more about the Aspot.

What I experience is a very intense orgasm , sometimes it leaves me so drained I find it hard to move back into a comfortable position on the bed.

I remember when I was younger , I was with another wonderful lover, very experienced ,and he used to get me to the point where my legs became like jelly, and I had a temporary loss of hearing.!.I was unable to stand for about 10 minutes.I realise now that I was gushing then but I had no idea what was happening.Had I known how to develop the gushing then , it would have been great.
( I still thank him ,in my mind to this day, for teaching me how to really let go and be proud of my sexuality.He was a wonderful lover.No wonder I was with him for 6 years. He taught me a lot ; I miss him still even after 20 years, I really loved him.)

I couldnt bear having these kind of orgasms by accident and not being able to find the way to get there again. I had to listen to my body and learn about it to be able to find the way to get to this level on a regular basis.

I have never been shy of sexuality. Once, I made an appointment with a professor of female sexuality years ago to ask about these intense passionate feelings. She explained a lot of it , the feeling side , the physical response ,and said never be afraid , just make sure you are with someone you can trust.Her advice was very helpful and made me feel very comfortable with the whole sex thing.

Thankyou for your suggestions, I am keen to have a go at the Thumb / Gspot thang , and the Combo.
It might make for a whole new level of intensity !!
Its no good to let something this good to get boring!!

Thankyou Mr G , your response has been well considered and I appreciate it.
I will now go back and reread these wonderful tips.Its great that we can exchange information in this way without feeling nervous.
I am learning a lot from this fantastic thread!

 

[Mr.G]

Yup, those are the biggies. Feeling out of body. Can't stand. Almost convulsive body twitches. After-gasms.

Did he give you ONE biggie or a series. Were these multiples or just an enormous release?

I remember when I was younger , I was with another wonderful lover, very experienced ,and he used to get me to the point where my legs became like jelly, and I had a temporary loss of hearing.!.I was unable to stand for about 10 minutes.

One of the things I find to be THE most gratifying as I age here on LIT are the notes I get thanking me for the knowledge so that couples can experience what your former lover taught you so many years ago. It is an amazing feeling to be able to help so many achieve such sexual bliss and satiation with their lovers and in so many PMs and emails I hear that is has changed the whole dynamic of their relationship for the better. I also thank ALL the posters who have contributed so much to this thread. I and all the people who benefited from this since I first posted can't thank guys like you enough!!!

( I still thank him ,in my mind to this day, for teaching me how to really let go and be proud of my sexuality.He was a wonderful lover.No wonder I was with him for 6 years. He taught me a lot ; I miss him still even after 20 years, I really loved him.)

The only people I have been UNable to get their GSpot firing were the ladies (very few of them) who were unable to "let go" - partially a trust issue. Likely more along the lines of no permanent commitment and that's the only way they could allow themselves to let go. Hopefully those few now know how to instruct their new and forever lovers in the Technique and enjoy what I wasn't quite able to pull off myself.

I have never been shy of sexuality. Once, I made an appointment with a professor of female sexuality years ago to ask about these intense passionate feelings. She explained a lot of it , the feeling side , the physical response ,and said never be afraid , just make sure you are with someone you can trust.Her advice was very helpful and made me feel very comfortable with the whole sex thing.

And THANK YOU for such fantastic feedback, suggestions and insight into your ongoing sexual discovery.

Thankyou for your suggestions, I am keen to have a go at the Thumb / Gspot thang , and the Combo. It might make for a whole new level of intensity !!
Its no good to let something this good to get boring!!

Thankyou Mr G , your response has been well considered and I appreciate it.
I will now go back and reread these wonderful tips.Its great that we can exchange information in this way without feeling nervous.
I am learning a lot from this fantastic thread!

 

[Mr.G]

A study out of Ottawa looked interesting.

In a nutshell true fulfillment for lovers happens between the ears and in the heart.

The list of eight components for great sex seems like pretty much a no-brainer for most couples who do have great sex but is apparently a breakthrough discovery for the experts.

What I HOPE the Technique provides for many couples is a way to have the intimacy that is only attained by real lovers AND mind blowing ORGASMS - as many as she wants whenever she wants. It sounds great to get all philosophical about great sex and reveal to the world that it comes from something a little more profound than how PIV is performed but with the Technique most couples CAN have the deep emotional bond AND great O's for her too. Many of the posts and PMs to me suggest that the discovery of these easy-to-achieve multiple orgasms have brought them to a much closer more loving place in an already good relationship. Icing on the cake.


The recipe for great sex: orgasm optional, research finds

Put away your vacuum pump, heavy-duty auto booster cables and edible latex Brad Pitt face mask-and-abs combo.

According to a study released Thursday, such items are simply litter along the road to great sex.

The study, titled The Components of Optimal Sexuality: A Portrait of 'Great Sex', suggests that sexual fulfilment has far less to do with technique and perfect bodies -- elements most often ascribed great significance by popular culture -- and more to do with such factors as presence, connection and erotic intimacy.

"Unfortunately, popular culture tells people that great sex is about varying your routines, trying new positions, buying new sex toys," says Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz, lead author of the study.

"All you have to do is stand in line at any check-out counter and you see magazines that are blaring these headlines -- 'We have the secret!'

"Many people have bought into the message that if your sex life seems kind of dull, just spice it up."

This sort of marketing, says Kleinplatz, a sex therapist and psychologist with the University of Ottawa's faculty of medicine whose work has focused on eroticism for two decades, succeeds only in making people feel insecure about their sexuality and uneducated about sexual technique.

"There is plenty of evidence that most people believe that the secret to sexual fulfilment is technical," she says, "that it's about better manual and oral stimulation techniques."

Kleinplatz's ongoing five-year study, however, was the first to look at what specific factors constitute great sex, and came up with some unexpected findings.

"No one had bothered to investigate empirically what makes for memorable, fulfilling, optimal sexuality," she says. "There's been a lot of speculation, and in the absence of any empirical investigation, the messages put out by the media have been able to flourish -- there was a vacuum of information.

"So my research team set out to find out what really does stand out in people's experience and their memories of what makes sex exceptional, rather than merely functional.

"Most people," she adds, "want the stuff that dreams are made of."

Significantly and surprisingly, says Kleinplatz, the study found two areas on which participants placed extremely little importance: intense physical sensation and orgasm, and lust, desire, chemistry and attraction.

"What's interesting about the two minor components is that they're minor," she says. "So we now have empirical evidence that what most people think of as the major components are all but irrelevant."

In fact, when participants were asked about the role that orgasm played in great sex, more said it was not terribly important.

"You could have terrible sex with orgasms and despite orgasms," says Kleinplatz, "but you could have optimal sexuality without orgasm."

These findings are significant, she says, because knowing what constitutes great sex is the first step in getting there.

"I'm already applying these findings in my own clinical work," she says. "For me, one of the most remarkable things about this study is the finding that there were many people who are elderly, and chronically ill or disabled, and continuing to experience optimal sexuality.

"That seems like an encouraging finding."

For the study, Kleinplatz and colleague Dana Ménard interviewed 64 people -- from all over the world but most from the U.S. -- who had experienced great sex.

Twenty-five of those were 60 or older -- recruited specifically for their age and experience in long-term relationships.

"Who better to learn from than the experts?" she says. "People who have managed to make optimal sexuality last a lifetime."

A further 19 of the study's volunteers identified themselves with sexual minority groups, such as gays and bisexuals.

That the findings from these two groups were so similar Kleinplatz describes as one of the more surprising results of their research.

"They were identical," she says. "Regardless of differences in socio-economic background, educational background and life experience, anyone who had experienced optimal sexuality described it in close to identical terms."

The remaining 20 participants were sex therapists. In all, 34 men and 30 women took part, ranging in age from 23 to 82.

The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality is published by the Sex Information and Education Council of Canada.

- - -

Eight Elements of Great Sex

Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz research identified eight components that significantly contribute to excellent sex:

1. Being present, focused and embodied

According to the study, being fully and completely present during sexual experiences was the first and most frequently mentioned factor contributing to great sex. As one woman described, 'You are not a person in a situation. You are it. You are the situation.'

'It's being fully alive,' says Kleinplatz, 'in one's skin, engaged with the partner -- emotionally, intellectually, physically, spiritually -- in the moment.'

2. Connection, alignment, merger, being in sync

The report, printed Thursday in The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, notes that 'the depth of the connection between partners was one of the most critical elements of the experience regardless of duration of the relationship.'

3. Deep sexual and erotic intimacy

Kleinplatz describes this as the foundation of a relationship in which optimal sexuality becomes a possibility. It involves deep mutual respect, caring, genuine acceptance and admiration. As Kleinplatz notes, 'you can't trust just anyone.'

4. Extraordinary communication, heightened empathy

While marital counsellors are trained in teaching communications skills to clients, Kleinplatz describes the study's participants as having 'black belts' in communications.

'These weren't people who learned all about the other sex's genitalia and then just applied the technique,' she says. 'These were people who were so engaged in and with their partners' bodies that they could read their partners' responses, not only touching them, but feeling them."

5. Authenticity, being genuine, uninhibited, transparency

'This is pretty much the opposite of self-consciousness,' says Kleinplatz. 'It's allowing oneself to be emotionally naked while being seen by a partner.' One of the study's subjects noted 'I don't know that I'm capable of having great sex anymore without caring about a partner.'

6. Transcendence, bliss, peace, transformation, healing

Participants in the study often reported a sense of timelessness or the infinite during great sex. 'There was often a moment of aliveness beyond anything they'd experienced before,' says Kleinplatz. 'Their experience often really was exalted, and (the subjects) would use language borrowed from religion to describe it, because there are no words in the vocabulary of sexology to describe it.'

7. Exploration, interpersonal risk-taking, fun

This, says Kleinplatz, is where participants describe sex as an adventure. She uses a line from The Who song Bargain: 'I'm looking for a free ride to me. I'm looking for you.'

'I've always thought it was one of the most erotic lines I've heard,' she adds. 'This is about being on a journey of self-discovery, with sex as the pathway.

'And it's also a lot of fun.'

8. Vulnerability and surrender

'If authenticity is about what's happening within and choosing to be emotionally naked,' Kleinplatz explains, 'vulnerability is more about the willingness to be seen naked. It's an awareness that I'm letting you inside of me, penetrating one another's souls.'s

http://www.ottawacitizen.com/Life/recipe+great+orgasm+optional+research+finds/1754587/story.html