G
Guest
Guest
It's kinda long. Actually it's a compilation of 5 seperate stories. Let me know what you think.
The Weekend
The Weekend
G
Guest
Guest
Charming enough start to make me bookmark it. The guy's character seemed likable, and I might enjoy reading it later.
I'm a short story guy. Unless it gets to me, I don't usually read stories over two pages long (this comes from a guy who can't keep his stories shorter than 6,000 words!).
Five stories compiled within three Lit pages seem a good effort to me!
You know the story needs editing.
I'm a short story guy. Unless it gets to me, I don't usually read stories over two pages long (this comes from a guy who can't keep his stories shorter than 6,000 words!).
Five stories compiled within three Lit pages seem a good effort to me!
You know the story needs editing.
G
Guest
Guest
Well, I was typing a response, but felt foolish, so I deleted it and I'm not gonna critique your work.
G
Guest
Guest
Umm.... Ok.... Was it something I said??
dr_mabeuse
seduce the mind
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2002
- Posts
- 11,528
It looks like it’s a fine story, and I’m sure it will appeal to a lot of people. Unfortunately I’m not one of them. I generally don’t like perfect love-making between lovely people in love. I’m a fuck-the-roses-give-me-the-thorns kind of guy. I like a little drama and struggle in my stories.
This guy was entirely too slick for me, and everything they did too perfect. I'm afraid I got bored and bailed out halfway down.
But what I read was very well-written and I really do think that a lot of people will like this. The writing’s intelligent and the narrator does have a sense of humor, but the piece itself seems like one guy’s fantasy of what a great lover he is. That turned me off.
---dr.M.
This guy was entirely too slick for me, and everything they did too perfect. I'm afraid I got bored and bailed out halfway down.
But what I read was very well-written and I really do think that a lot of people will like this. The writing’s intelligent and the narrator does have a sense of humor, but the piece itself seems like one guy’s fantasy of what a great lover he is. That turned me off.
---dr.M.
