curiousslave94
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What do you do when your Master says he doesn't trust you?
Trust?
- Thread starter curiousslave94
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desertslave
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Ask why and ask what is needed to earn (or regain) that trust.
curiousslave94
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That's what should be done, but then he says that someone who asks on how to earn trust will not really earn the trust.
CutieMouse
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Looking through your post history, you're 18, in an online only D/s situation, and the D in question has a history of playing mind games of the not fun sort.
May I ask why exactly you're concerned about the whole trust thing with someone like that?
May I ask why exactly you're concerned about the whole trust thing with someone like that?
curiousslave94
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And I guess they weren't really mind games just communication problems. Where both of us were too stubborn to think about talking it out.
But we were arguing a couple of days ago, and I did some stuff and he got pissed. I knew what I did was wrong and took my punishment. And during the argument he said he didn't trust me again, which is annoying cause it should sort of be the opposite.
It better now, but that part was still bugging me.
CutieMouse
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What you see as communication problems/stubbornness, reads [to me] like mind games.
If he doesn't want to trust you, he doesn't want to trust you. It may or may not be reasonable for him to no longer trust you [depending on what "some stuff" means]. Regardless, the lingering drama (do you trust me? No! How can I earn your trust? If you have to ask...) is an excellent example of punishment being less effective than a calm, rational, mature conversation when challenging situations come up.
curiousslave94
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I am confused by what you mean in the end "Regardless, the lingering drama (do you trust me? No! How can I earn your trust? If you have to ask...) is an excellent example of punishment being less effective than a calm, rational, mature conversation when challenging situations come up."
CutieMouse
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Punishments rarely resolve issues.
You did X
He got upset
You got punished
(Expecting the punishment to resolve things/earn back his trust)
He still doesn't trust you
You're confused why he doesn't trust you, after you were punished
Did the punishment fix the issue?
curiousslave94
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It fixed the issue.
desertslave
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That's just stupid!
Last edited:
Stella_Omega
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What she said.
Plus he sounds like a desperately insecure person in his own right. This doesn't make him any less a dominant, but it does make relationships of any sort a little more difficult.
Etoile
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This is the move of a five year old. "If you have to ask, I'm not going to tell you." Absolutely fucking no way. Not in this lifetime. Seriously, you cannot pull this shit in an adult relationship.
Noor
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The above sounds like classic abuser behavior.
nfrrdscnnr1
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manipulation
You are being manipulated in a classic case of using your desire to please him as a lever to get you to do something--probably the goal is to get you to remain in his 9or her life when they are convinced they do not deserve to have you in their life.
You are being manipulated in a classic case of using your desire to please him as a lever to get you to do something--probably the goal is to get you to remain in his 9or her life when they are convinced they do not deserve to have you in their life.
Salenku
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Agreed. The signs are relatively subtle. At first. Be careful...
eastern sun
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Take a look at your behavior and determine whether or not you gave him reason not to trust you. If you did, then own it and work to change the behavior.
If not, and it's just his insecurities speaking, demonstrate - through your behavior - that he has no reason to be insecure with you.
When it comes to trust, it isn't only what you say, it's what you do that counts.
If not, and it's just his insecurities speaking, demonstrate - through your behavior - that he has no reason to be insecure with you.
When it comes to trust, it isn't only what you say, it's what you do that counts.
IrisAlthea
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I don't get how it fixed the issue? You still have problems with him not trusting you.
seela
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I'm guessing she meant it fixed the issue in the sense that she's not going to repeat what she did. The issue with trust, however, seemed to be far from fixed based on her posts.
desertslave
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The OP hasn't been back in a while, but just in case there's a reappearance...the other question that needs to be asked is whether she trusts him?
Salenku
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It might be a difficult question to answer, though. Sometimes you can talk yourself into thinking you trust (or love, or any other empty you care to name) a person because you really, really want to.... But a good question to ask nonetheless!
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